(Original) Rewriting Your Story
by LifeIsAVerb
Summary: CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN! LOOK FOR 'Rewriting Your Story' 'M' crashes into the lives of everyone at Wammy's House. No one's sure what to make of her or how she came to be there but one thing's for certain: she's changing everything that was to be their fate... but for the better?
1. Chapter 1 - Going To Sleep?

**Author's Note:** And so begins my first attempt at a fanfiction! As such, please be kind in pertaining to reviews so that I'll want to continue the story. I'm unsure as of yet the pattern to which I'll update so just keep an eye out. Until then, please enjoy! ***I do NOT own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 1****\- Going To Sleep?**

I sigh as I lean back from my most recent sketch. I had been commissioned to design a tattoo for one of my best friends. Working on it all day, I had managed to get it all drawn out and had been adding line weight with ink. I'm excited to show her the finished product, but it would have to wait until another time.

Flipping my phone towards me, I notice that it's about 2 in the morning. My sister, brother, and parent had gone to bed long ago. I stretch back, popping my spine in several places; I pause to listen to the sound bounce through the living room. I reluctantly minimize the page on which I had been re-watching Death Note. Like anyone who followed my tumblr knew, I am VAGUELY obsessed with the inhabitants of the Wammy House, but especially L and Near.

I'm not certain what draws me to those characters, but I'm sure it's a measure of camaraderie. Much like L, I sit in a strange way that drew attention from my classmates. My legs interlock over each other in what I'm sure is an acrobatic pose. I rarely eat anything due to having anorexia when I was younger. But most of all: like the both of them, I sit by myself in a corner, constantly working until I drop. I'm sure my reasons are different from theirs. Unlike them, I work until I drop from exhaustion in order to _not_ think of certain things. Thinking leads to remembering, remembering leads to stress, stress leads to… well, I'm sure you'll run into that consequence in my story. Tag on a ridiculously excellent sense of hearing that makes me need to wear sound-canceling headphones with my three dogs around, a weak immune system, and an eerie knack for reading people and you have a formula for a social outcast.

Closing my laptop, I haul myself to my feet and begin shuffling to the old wooden stairs. I keep turning to check the shadows, shapes appearing and disappearing with my fluctuating paranoia. Feeling eyes on me, I quickly check that the front door is locked before taking the stairs at a jog. At one of the landings, I catch sight of the moon. I stare at the round orb, different thoughts flowing in and out my consciousness. Shaking my head, I realize I've been standing staring at the moon for a good 5 minutes. Silently thanking that no one had been around, I continue up the stairs.

Reaching the top, I cautiously approach the corner to the hallway, knowing what will meet me there. Peering around the corner to the hallway, looking both ways, I freeze. A tall, black silhouette stands at the end of the hall. I breathe in and out, staring it down before it disappears. I walk quickly to the room I share with my sister, closing the door behind me. Facing my bed, I sigh. No one else sees the anxiety-fueled hallucinations, but they have terrorized me since childhood.

I place my laptop next to my bed before I collapse upon the blue quilt sheets. "Ouch!" I hiss. I had forgotten about the clip I always spin my hair into while I'm working! I remember my 16 year old sister's sleeping for school the next day and I turn to her. She doesn't even stir; I remember that she wears headphones to listen to music at night and snicker at myself for my forgetfulness.

Everyone says that we look like twins, but I only see it to a point. Thinking about her, I can see why people know we're related. We both share the same olive complexion, brown eyes, brown hair (except I have a shade of red mixed in), same build, hell, even the same nose from our strong Italian heritage. Other than that, my sister is a lot prettier than I am. She is extremely funny and social, making friends wherever she goes. She's incredibly intelligent and a loyal friend. More than any of that: she's my best friend, always has been. I don't despise any of those traits that she has, in fact, I'm happy for her and push for her success! I hope that she will have more success than I.

My 13 year old brother looks different than us, but not ridiculously so. His brown hair curls into a large bush upon his head that I love. He also shares his brown eyes with us, but that's where the resemblance stops. His skin is a pale color that often earns him sunburns, his face covered in freckles. I see a lot of myself in his behaviors, but not to the extremes that I have. Shy at times, he will always try new things and is kind to everyone. His dexterity serves him well during the countless hours I spend playing video games with him. His loud recklessness makes it easy for me to win, but I worry about when he figures out the strategy of stealth, because then I'll have to start actually trying to beat him!

Sitting up, I reach behind me and release the cascade of loose red-brown curls that reach just below my shoulder blades. Combing through the strands, I stare at the slowly spinning fan on the ceiling. Not even bothering to change clothes, I pray the darkness of sleep takes me quickly. My last thoughts turn to my favorite Death Note characters, wondering how they live with such strange quirks because I'm having such a hard time. Someone up there must have heard my prayer because my mind clouds over and I am lost.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Monkey In The Oak Tree

**Author's Note:** ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 2**** \- The Monkey Hanging From The Oak Tree**

Slowly but steadily, red smudges begin to appear in the darkness. Watching them with closed eyes, they move back and forth across the inside my lids. Continuing to watch them, I wonder what in the world they could be. Shivers roll up my spine as a cool breeze softly caresses my arms… _wait… breeze?_ Opening my eyes, I realize that the red smudges had been beams of sunlight streaming through wide oak leaves. My brain slowly catches up to the fact that I am now clearly outside and, more importantly, that my family doesn't have an oak tree.

I call out to my sister in case I'm having an extremely, _extremely_, vivid dream. "What was that?" At least that's what I think I hear, but I brush it off in light of the current situation.

I sit up far too fast and black spots dance across my vision. _Crap, well there goes all of Mom's warnings to sit up slowly…_ I sway and feel myself falling to the side. Thinking that I was sitting on the ground already, I tense up as I continue to fall past the 90 degree mark where the floor should have been. I recall the gymnastics classes of my early years and lock my knees around whatever I'm sitting on. I swing upside down, swaying black and forth as I dangle from a branch by my legs. The black spots swell in size, twirling across my eyes.

"HEY!"

Peering through the black dots as best I can, I see a mass of what appears to be black leather and limbs hurrying towards me. Since the voice was decidedly masculine, I'm pretty certain it's a guy. _But with all that leather, who knows?_ My hair hung down in front as his face, probably irritating him. I was suddenly EXTREMELY grateful that my foot-length black skirt was tucked under my knees and that part of the hem of my shirt was caught in the waistband.

'He' crosses his arms. "Who are you?"

I try to answer him, but the black spots swell to consume all of the sunlight. I feel my knees unlock as I can only pray that I don't hit the guy in front of me…

**~ 3rd POV ~**

The boy looked expectantly up at the girl, waiting for an answer. He was about to ask her again when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she began to fall. He acted quickly and dove forward to catch her. He braced himself, but was surprised to find that she was incredibly light. He crouched on the ground to examine this new stranger in his arms.

The girl was small, but he couldn't tell exactly how tall while holding her, but he could feel her ribs along his arm. She was wearing a black shirt with sleeves that reached past her wrists. A red swirling design was sewn into the cuffs that billowed out around her hands. Although the shirt was small, it still made piles of folds around her small frame. Her skirt brushed the toes of her bare feet. He had thought she had passed out because she was wearing all of the long black clothes in the beginning of August, but she wasn't warm. Her face gave no hint as to why she had fallen unconscious. All in all, the boy decided she wasn't bad looking.

The boy was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching. He turned to see another boy about 5'6" shuffling around the fountain in the middle of the wide green lawn. The newcomer paused the hand-held game he had been tapping away at when he stopped in front of them. He adjusted the white rimmed, orange lens goggles to rest atop the brown hair on his head in order to allow his bright green eyes to investigate the scene with a calm, almost uninterested gaze, "Hey Mello! Whatcha got there? I heard the kids come running in, shrieking about a monkey hanging from the tree out back. This it? 'Cuz it looks pretty cute to be a monkey."

'Mello' flinched as the boy voiced his own most embarrassing observation. There was a pause before the boy continued, "So… did you kill her?"

Mello's face twitched as he snapped, "No! She just fell out of the tree!" He stood up, lifting her with him. Her arm dangled off of her side. The other boy stepped forward, reached out an arm covered in a long-sleeved red and black striped shirt, and used a black-gloved hand to place her hand back on her stomach. Mello spoke a bit softer, "Matt, has anyone gotten Watari yet?"

Matt examined the cuff of his cream sleeveless vest as he answered in an amused voice, "I'm sure the herd has gotten to him as soon as they decided who would fit through the doors first." Looking back at her, he continued, "You know… it's a strange coincidence that she's shown up now of all times. This is the first time he's ever visited us, arriving yesterday, and then she just appears?"

Mello glared down at the girl, his shoulder-length blonde hair falling in his face, "Yeah, I know."

"Mello, Matt!" Both boys turned towards an elderly man in a black suit and pants (despite the time of year) hurrying towards them. A crowd of children of varying ages followed him. "What happened here? Who is this?"

Mello looked up from the girl, "We have no idea who she is, do you know her, Watari?"

"Oh dear…" Watari neared them and stopped, peering through his glasses at the girl's face. After a minute of examination, he began, "Hm…" Everyone leaned forward expectantly. He straightened up, and ran a hand through his white hair, "I'm afraid I have no idea!" All of the children (except for Mello who remembered he had an unconscious girl in his arms) fell over in response to Watari's ridiculous build-up.

"Well, _that_ was helpful…" Matt muttered as he picked himself up.

Watari turned to Mello, "Did she hit her head?"

Mello shook his head, his blonde hair flying, "No, I managed to catch her." Looking back down at her face, he continued, "She must have been up in the tree and lost her balance. She was awake when she was hanging from the branch, but she passed out."

The girl groaned and shifted her head. Mello panicked for a second and held the girl away from him, "Crap! She's waking up!" She stopped moving and settled into a calm breathing rhythm.

Watari nodded and took out a handkerchief to wipe the side of his face, "Well, in any case, we should move her into the house; it's ungodly warm out here! We can get answers when she wakes up." He turned towards the house and began to walk back. Matt shrugged at Mello and unpaused his game. Without looking up, he maneuvered past all of the children. Mello gave a last glance at the girl in his arms before following them both. The children parted like the red sea as he walked towards the huge mansion that was Wammy's House.

Unbeknownst to any of them, there were two others watching the induction of the intruder.

One looked up from the stack of dice he had been building around the window. He looked down on the small figures, slightly frustrated that he couldn't make out any important details. He let a breath that he didn't know he had been holding go. He began to curl a lock of snow white hair around his finger repeatedly. There was nothing he could do at the moment, he would have to be patient.

The other stood in a dark hallway, peering down through the high window. He analyzed everything there could be seen from his perch, but it was difficult. He had heard the commotion of the children downstairs and decided to take a break from his current case to see the 'monkey'. He bit his thumb in frustration of the lack of information he could obtain and turned away. Placing his other hand in his jeans pocket, he shuffled down the dark hallway. He would have to gather further information immediately.


	3. Chapter 3 - Escape From Wammy's House

**Author's Note:** ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 3**** \- Escape From Wammy's House**

I hear a shuffling of feet first, which is shortly followed by a soft pounding that reverberated around my head. I'm confused; my sister was always up by the time I was in order to get to school which meant that someone else is in our room. _Wait! The tree! I fell out of a tree! So that means I'm in an unknown location with God knows who…_ I realize that I had stiffened when I made my discovery, so I slowly relax, praying that no one had noticed. When I don't hear anyone say anything to me, I begin to listen to any ambient noises.

I listen to the scuffing of shoes as someone paces back and forth impatiently a few feet away; the clicking of what sounds like a gameboy comes from by my feet. The pacing suddenly stops. "Damn it, Matt! Can't you stop playing that game for a few minutes? It's driving me crazy!" _Matt? I know a few 'Matt's, but none of them play with gameboys… _

The clicking continues as an amused voice replies, "Tell you what, Mello, I'll take a break at gaming as soon as _you_ take a break from pacing." _Mello? I only know one Mello and that's from.. Wait, of course! I also only know one person who wears leather and that's Mello from Death Note! His best friend's a guy named… Matt! I'm somehow in Wammy's House! _

My stunned realization is interrupted by Mello-voice growling, "But she was moving only a few minutes ago, why isn't she awake yet!" I have to stop myself from scrunching my face up in pain from the volume of the conversation. _Huh… he sounds just as loud as I thought he would…_

An older, gentler voice speaks over Mello, "Boys, boys, please!" _That must be Watari! _

They all continue talking, but my brain begins to work on overload. _There's no way that I can tell them that I just happened to appear in their tree, much less that they're characters in a manga and anime! I'm at the house for incredibly gifted children where NO one else gets in! Also, if Watari's here, that means L probably is which doesn't help me in pleading that this is coincidence. He's almost never at Wammy's House and the fact that I'm here at one of the few times he visits is incredibly suspicious! _

I begin to feel lightheaded again, so I silence my thoughts for a second of respite. I need to stay calm if I'm going to get out. _If Mello's in here, that means that there's a high chance that Near is present as well to gather information which means he'll realize I'm only faking unconsciousness. So my only option is to make a run for it and see if I can't get to the states. Who knows? Maybe they do exist in my universe! If I stay here, I'm going to be confined. But how will I get out the door? I don't know where it is and it's probably locked… Also, since my skull isn't split open in the backyard, I'm assuming Mello caught me which means that he has lightning fast reaction time. The bottom line is I need a distraction… _

Almost like a blessing from heaven, I hear the sound of muffled footsteps coming down the hall. _If someone opens the door, it's a natural reaction that humans turn towards the noise. As soon as it clicks open, I'll know where the door is and run._ I can only hope that my vertigo doesn't strike when I stand up.

As I wait for the click, I hear Mello finish his rampage with, "-and we don't even know anything about her! WHY DOESNT' SHE JUST WAKE UP?!"

There is a small pause, filled with the clicking of Matt's gameboy and… a softer clicking of something being put into place. A soft voice from the opposite side of the room fills the room, uttering what I had hoped he wouldn't figure out, "But Mello… she _is_ awake."

My teeth clench, _Damn it, Near!_

_Click._

My eyes snap open and I fling myself towards the door. Without wasting a second, I see only the backs of everyone's heads as they turn towards the door to look at Roger. "Who is this 'monkey' I keep hearing a-AH!" I push past him and sprint into the hallway. Black begins to surround the outside of my vision, causing me fall into the wall across from the door. _NO!_ I crash into the wall but push myself off, catapulting down the carpeted hallway. I hear a scuffle from behind me as someone tries to get past the poor stunned Roger, cursing all the while. I snicker and speed off. What most people don't know is that, while I'm not good at any form of endurance exercise, I'm one of the fastest sprinters.

I begin to curse that there were no blueprints of the Wammy House in the manga that I had read. I whirl around corner after corner. Small black spots fill my vision, but I shake them off.

As I spin around yet another corner, I slam into someone who reaches my chest. Not allowing myself to fall down, I glance down at my unfortunate victim. A pale girl dressed in a ballerina leotard stares up at me with wide brown eyes. An awkward moment of silence, only long enough to take a breath, passes. "The monkey?" she mumbles softly.

"Sorry!" I mutter as I take off down the next hallway. I hear her call about a monkey again, MUCH louder this time. I curse under my breath, _Every child probably heard that, I've got to hurry!  
_  
I finally come out to a balcony over the main hall. Breathing a sigh of relief, I jog to the wide main staircase. As I hurry down the short stairs that meet at a landing in the middle, I prepare to descend the last set of stairs and sprint to freedom!

As I look towards my goal, I freeze. A crowd of children has gathered in the main hall out of curiosity from the girl's cry. You could hear a pin drop, much less Matt, "Where did the monkey go?" Everyone turns toward the hallway I had sprinted out of. I crinkle my nose in distaste. _So I'm the monkey… What the hell?! _

I turn back to the crowd and, despite the uselessness of the gesture, put a finger to my lips. Hopefully, most were young enough to perhaps honor my request. A young yet tall boy with flaming red hair shakes the shock from himself and calls, "SHE'S AT THE STAIRS!"

I stiffen as footsteps resound from where Matt had questioned the girl. I hear Mello holler, "KEEP HER THERE!"

"Traitor!" I hiss down at him. Seeing as how the front door isn't an option, I take off up the stairs across from me and sprint down the hall. I take the first corner I come to, praying that they haven't spotted me yet. I look up to see… a dead end. Before my heart can sink too low, I spot my salvation: a window. Knowing that I'm nearing the end of my sprinting abilities, I hurry over to it. Praying, yet again, that the window wouldn't be loud when opened. I breathe a sigh of relief when it lifts easily. I clamber out onto the roof, closing it quietly behind me.

I give myself 10 seconds to catch my breath. Looking around, I notice that the sun is almost behind the horizon. Tall shadows reach across the lawn like claws. I shudder as I look at the darkening surroundings. Tall figures begin to materialize out of the inky blackness. I shake my head and allow them to disintegrate. _Ok, I don't have time to hallucinate! In any case, this time of day only works in my favor._

Holding my skirt in my hands, I slowly stalk along the roof; anytime I reach a white-framed window, I duck below it. I wince whenever I feel the vibrations of footsteps within the house. When I reach a corner, I lower myself until my feet find a foothold on the elegant carving at the top of the post. I reach down, first one hand then the other, until I clutch the post. Slowly but steadily, I slide down until my feet hit the railing. I can hear shouting from inside (primarily from Mello, of course). _Time to get out of here! _

Knowing that the first place they would look would be the front gate (and since I would have to scale the fence anyways), I turn towards where the fence is mainly obscured by trees, hidden in shadow. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the hint of shadow figures at the corners of my vision, I approach the fence. Stopping in front of it, I look down at my skirt and sigh. _Why, why, WHY did I not change into pajamas last night?!_ Ignoring my fatigue, I haul myself over the fence. Landing poorly, I stumble back into the fence. Before the black spots can obscure my vision, I slide down until I'm sitting. I close my eyes, breathing in and out, waiting for my head to stop spinning.

_You're almost home-free, you just escaped Wammy's House, you can do this! _I use the fence to pick myself up into a standing position. "Okay!" I turn away from the fence to walk down the road.

My eyes widen and I feel myself freeze in place.

Right before me is the man I had hoped I wouldn't run into because I knew that I would probably not be able to escape him. Messy black hair, dark as midnight, blows in the soft breeze. A pair of dark eyes gaze into mine as we stare each other down.

In front of me stands the greatest detective in the world: L.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Fist-Fight With L

**Author's Note:** Congratulations to **lili** for being my first review! It makes me very happy that someone's interested in my story, thank you! Thank you for following! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 4****\- A Fist-Fight With L**

I slowly will my muscles to relax as I take in my first view of the sleep-deprived detective. He stands about 5 feet away from me; not moving, not speaking. _Huh, he's just as pale as I imagined. I wonder what his voice sounds like? Did the anime get it right? Okay, NOT the time!_ I return to my observations, knowing he's doing the same. His face is partially in shadow, giving off an aura of mystery. His hands rest in his blue jean pockets, his shoulders hunched beneath his long-sleeved white shirt. Overall, he looks remarkably calm. I don't let it fool me. _I know exactly how mobile he is; I'm going to need to think this through carefully. _

As he continues to stare at me, I'm sure he can see my gears turning. I focus on keeping my face relaxed as I continue to develop my plan. _The first thing he's going to look for when I run is the direction I'm looking. It's the biggest tells for where anyone is planning to go. I'm going to need to time this perfectly. _My fingers subconsciously flutter against each other. _No pressure… Okay- okay, here we go! _

I set my face into a determined expression, clearly telling him that I'm about to move. I let my eyes flicker to my left. I see him tense and plant his bare feet to lunge to his right. Seeing my opportunity, I kick off in the opposite direction, using the trees as a barrier between us. I run as fast as I can manage, but I know that I won't be able to last long since my sprint in Wammy's. I can hear the padding of his feet as he gains ground on me. I race through the tall shadows cast by the sunset, refusing to look behind me for fear that I might break an ankle on a roots or run into a tree.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of white fabric lash out at me before a hand wraps around my wrist and yanks me out of the trees. My eyes flash as adrenaline shoots through me; my body prepares for combat. Yanking me out into the road had done little to lessen the momentum of my running. As I near him, I pull my fingers back and slam the base of my palm into his chest before pushing off. I hear a surprised grunt as he releases my wrist. Knowing that I can't run any longer, I spin to face him.

His eyes widen slightly in shock as I turn to him. He had clearly expected for me to continue running. Panting heavily, I look up at his 5'9", towering over my 5'1" frame. I again curse at my poor choice of clothes; the skirt isn't going to help with footwork and my bell sleeves can be easily grabbed. _Crap._ I had hoped I wouldn't have to rely on force since he's extremely skilled at hand to hand combat, _but what choice do I have?_ I position my feet, my left towards L, my right pivoted back, shoulder-width apart. I lean forward on the balls of feet, crouching low. I watch his eyes analyze every movement I make. A sudden breeze whips through us both. L's hair dances wildly, his shirt billowing around his arms. My skirt flies behind me, some of my hair falls into my face; I don't dare flick it back.

L _seems_ to be standing casually, but I know better. His feet are discreetly placed a distance apart that will help him maintain balance. His knees aren't as bent as mine, but enough to supply easy movement. His hands are out of his pockets, hovering just over his legs. I allow a small smirk to grace my features, _Huh, I've surprised the greatest genius in the world. How many people have managed to do that?_

A tense silence builds as I quickly analyze the situation, shifting my balance. _Knowing L, I can't pull that same trick again, but he's definitely prepared for a straight-forward attack. I have to strike first or I'll lose for sure. This could get ugly, but here we go!_ Before I can lose my nerve, I tuck my thumbs into my hands (so they don't break when I strike) before pulling my right fist back. I throw it forward, aiming at his face. _It's only natural to defend the nervous system center of the body, no matter the threat._ As my fist nears his face, I throw my left fist down before jerking it up. While my right fist stops just short of his face, close enough that it brushes his bangs, my left drills into his gut. I hear the breath leave his lungs. _Ha!_ I prepared to pull back and run, I'm pretty sure there would be no way he can follow me with the wind knocked out of him!

I immediately regret my sense of accomplishment.

Since his head had snapped down at my strike, I can't see where his eyes are focused. His right hand closes over my left wrist yet again. Yanking me forward, I fly past him, leaving my right wrist wide open for capture. He draws both behind my back, forcing my knees to the ground. I hiss when my knees make contact with the hard-packed earth.

"L!"

We both look up to see Mello and Matt sprinting towards us through the shadows, closing in fast. Thanks to the black leather vest and pants, it's difficult to spot Mello in the ever-darkening shadows, but Matt sticks out in the setting sun, the light bouncing off the orange lenses of his goggles. I feel my teeth tighten into a determined frown. _I can't let them get to us or I'm down for the count. I have to finish this, and finish it quickly!_

I can feel the adrenaline wearing off and the fatigue from all of my running catch up to me. Gravity seems to be intensifying, pushing ever harder on my weary body. The blackness begins to return around the edges of my vision. _NO!_ An audible growl resounds through my chest, a spark igniting within me. Using the distraction that Mello and Matt provided, as I know L is looking at them, I draw my right leg up and pushed forward as hard as I can. His hands release my wrists, clearly unprepared for my rebellion. I fall forward but immediately use the momentum to lunge forward. _I _**_have_**_ to _**_run_**_! _

Almost tripping on my skirt, I sprint towards the startled pair. I keep staring between them, hoping they would fall for my act. I know it's was going to work as I close the distance between us- but…

"To your right!"

It's too late to change directions, I've already darted to the right, hoping I can get behind the trees. Immediately reacting to L's warning, Mello darts forward, black leather-gloved hands catching me around the waist. He had unfortunately forgotten that I'm much lighter than he is because his momentum sends us down to the floor. The back of my head strikes the ground… hard.

My mouth opens slightly as I stare up at the sky in shock at the pain. Mello picks himself up in a kneeling position before harshly pinning my shoulders to the ground. The rosary around his neck smacks the side of my face. I wince but continue to stare up. "I don't think that's necessary, Mello."

I hear soft footsteps approaching. I want to look towards the source, but I can't move an inch; all I can do is look up into the red sky.

Almost dreamily, I hear their conversation. Mello barks back, "Why the hell not?! She's escaped from us, US! Who knows what trick she could pull next?"

I vaguely see yet another black-gloved hand come to rest on Mello's shoulder as Matt's voice replies, "That would be because you almost certainly just gave her a concussion with that football-worthy tackle you used there."

"Wh-what?!"

Dark eyes obscure my vision as L bends over me, his black hair forming a kind of shaggy halo around his head. I stare into the eyes that never stop studying anything. I want to look away; I can't stand people watching me.

"Geez Mello, she may have escaped, but she's a girl, not a wrestler!"

Black begins to crowd closer around the edges of my vision. _No…  
_  
"I just got carried away!"

Black eyes. Two black, unreadable black holes. Yet before I lose everything, I can swear I see a hint of amused curiosity sparkle within them.

The darkness takes me.


	5. Chapter 5 - M My Name is M

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the follows and reviews! I'm delighted to have such kind people taking an interest in my story! This chapter is a tad long, I hope no one minds. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 5****\- M. My Name is M.**

As soon as my consciousness returns, I wish it hadn't. The ground rocks back and forth beneath my head, as unsteady as a ship upon the stormy sea. I feel a soft cushion beneath my hands- _wait, what?!_ Not thinking, my eyes fly open and I sit up; my shadowy locks flying past my face. _Oh no…_ The black spots return in larger numbers, flying across my vision like angry hornets. They weave back and forth, crawling all over the red cushions beneath me. My body sways before beginning to fall to the right; I brace myself for an unwelcome reunion with the ground- but strong arms catch me before I land.

"I wouldn't move yet if I were you."

I try to see through the hornet-spots at the owner of the unfamiliar voice. The voice I heard was deep and slow, yet concise. Between the ever-moving patches of darkness and how dim the room is, I can't make out any discernible details. The arms lift my upper body back onto the…_ I assume it's a couch? _

I simply lay there, breathing in and out as the spots slowly subside. Staring at the ceiling, I see the flickering light and hear a soft hum that only comes from a TV. _Okay, from my knowledge of Death Note, I know it must be multiple screens. I forgot he does this. Monitors, TVs, and laptops going at all times in order to keep track of cases. That paired with the insomnia, no wonder he has bags under his eyes… _

I notice a subtle yet furious clicking from behind the back of the couch. _Matt must be back there._ An irritated pacing is coming from above my head. One direction for for five steps before returning back in the opposite direction. _Mello._ I can't pinpoint Near. _He must be sitting twirling his hair or something._ Turning my head, I am met with L's eyes staring into mine. He crouches in a red chair only about a yard away. I flinch as I meet his gaze and immediately avert my eyes.

_Okay, new plan… What's my new plan? _

"You're not going to make another escape like your last, I'm afraid."

My eyes fly back to L's. He continues to stare at me intently; my eyes bounce away, focusing instead on his right hand that rests upon his knee. I say nothing. _If I say nothing, it gives him limited information. I need to say as little as possible. _

I hear the once pacing footsteps change direction, storming towards my head. Anxiety and protective instincts heightened, I cover my face with my arms and draw my knees to my chest in a defensive position, my skirt flowing over my feet. I'm just in time for Mello to bend over me. I feel his rosary collide with my arms. He's so close that if I wasn't wearing long sleeves, I'm sure I would feel his breath on my skin, "Hey! Who the hell are you, why are you falling out of trees, and why the hell are you fighting us?"

A soft voice rises from the ground by my feet, "Mello, if it isn't clear already, she has a background in defense that was enough to keep L at bay. I wouldn't put my face too close to hers while she's tense."

Mello reels on Near, "SHUT UP NEAR, I KNOW THAT!" I flinch, tightening my arms around my face. "I don't care what kind of history she has, what's going on?!" The light of the monitors continues flashing, giving him a shadowy deranged look.

Visions of an ugly memory flash before me. Screaming, yelling, an angry face in mine, a bruise blooming across my skin. _No… _"NOT AGAIN!" Before I can process my body's decision, I throw my right arm forward, my palm striking Mello's forehead. Head snapping back, he crashes to the ground, my view of him obscured by the red arm of the couch. Sitting up and spinning to face my fallen opponent, I lean to my right against the back of the couch as my vision begins to darken. "DON'T COME NEAR ME!" Everyone stares at me; even the ever-busy Matt and Near have abandoned their activities. L looks on with a quiet curiosity. I breathe heavily as my vision returns.

I slowly realize what I've done and panic. Crawling towards Mello, I cautiously peer over the arm cushion. "Ohmygod, I'msosorryMello!" comes spilling out of my mouth.

Mello shoots up, a red spot on his forehead, "WHAT WAS THA-wait… how do you know my name?"

Matt speaks up from the back of the room, "Near just said it."

Before Mello can explode at Matt's reply, L leans forward, "In any case, we need to know what's going on; I'm afraid you aren't leaving until we do." I turn towards him and lay against the back of the couch, letting my hair obscure my face. I refuse to meet his eyes as he continues, "Before you get any ideas of escape, you should know that you've been unconscious 2 times today and have received a concussion. Walking will be a challenge, let alone running. Also, the door is locked and everyone's been told there will be no interruptions. You may as well get comfortable." Much to my relief, he turns towards the small table next to him, covered in cakes. He reaches towards a piece of vanilla cake with a strawberry on top. _Of course_.

I sit quietly, weighing my options. _There's no way L's going to let me out of this room without answers, he'll keep me in here for as long as it takes. One thing's for sure: I don't want any of them as enemies. I don't have to say everything, I can just say the minimum needed to get through this. _Steeling my resolve, I cross my legs, one over the other. Leaning forward, I look down at my hands that had begun to pull at loose string at the cuff of my shirt. "What do you want to know?" I say softly.

L watches my hands as he answers, "Well, why don't we start at the beginning: what were you doing in the tree?"

I sigh, _The most unexplainable part of this whole thing…_ I know that in order to convince them, I can't look like I'm lying (which unfortunately, all of the symptoms of lying are what my anxiety displays). Not liking being in the spotlight one bit, I take in a deep breath and look up. I stare directly into L's eyes. "I have no idea-"

"That's ridiculous! How do you end up in a tree without knowing how you got there, much less in a place you don't belong!" Mello interrupts, hands clutching the arm of the chair, leaning towards me furiously. I wince, my hands flying up to cover my right ear in an attempt to shield it from the verbal onslaught.

Matt appears behind Mello. Before another word can be said, he grabs the collar of Mello's leather vest. I watch in shock at Matt's boldness a he drags Mello to the nearby wall. "You wanted answers, now let her talk." If looks could kill, Matt would have been declared deceased long ago. Despite this, Mello leans against the wall and pulls out a chocolate bar. Flipping his blonde hair back, he viciously rips the paper off and takes a bite._Wow, these guys are the real thing. _

I return to fiddling with the string on my sleeve cuff, trying my best to ignore the chocolate-fueled glare coming form my right. After a moment, L's low voice speaks again, "Continue please."

Glancing up quickly, I go on, "Well the last thing I remember was going to bed at around 2 in the morning, I think. I woke up in a tree. That's really all I know!" I hadn't realized how shaken I actually was, but at that moment, I feel the seed of panic begin to bloom in my chest. _No, not here, not now_.

I begin to search the pockets of my skirt desperately. L pauses in the slow demise of his cake, "What is it?"

I look at Mello and Matt against the wall, "Did either of you take a medicine bottle from my pockets?!" Startled, the two boys look at each other and shrug.

Matt brushes back a few strands of brown hair as he responds, "No, you had nothing, scout's honor."

I feel my heart drop. I always carry my medication for my anxiety. It's for emergencies, for when my anxiety strikes hard and fast. _I'm in trouble._ I can feel myself paling considerably. Matt peers at me before asking, "Why, what is it?"

My legs move to the front of the couch. I put my feet down on the ground, fully prepared to stand, when a small hand wraps around my ankle. I look down and my eyes travel from the slender, delicate white fingers to see Near for the first time. In front of him stands a large, intricate structure made of dice that disappeared around the corner of the couch. I can't even begin to guess how many die went into it's construction. His long white pajamas hang off of his arms and legs, wide gray eyes peering into mine. I feel the sting of tears in my eyes as I see that his snow white hair forms a bush upon his head, much like my brother's. "If you stand, you're going to hurt yourself." He sounds so much like my brother that I want to cry.

I take a deep breath as everyone continues to stare at me or glance at each other in confusion. Without looking at the boy in question, I ask, "Please, Mello, are you sure there wasn't anything at the base of the tree?"

Surprised by my direct request, he swallows his bite of chocolate and replies almost politely, "No, there was nothing. For God's sake, what the hell is it?!"

I stiffen. _If he's going to ask me like that, there's no way he would accept my medical conditions. I've had enough of people dismissing me, I'm not saying a word. _

As it turns out I don't need to. L's monotone voice chimes in, "I'm assuming it's a medication for anxiety." I bite the inside of my cheek, willing myself not to look at him. I hope that he stops talking about it, but he continues, "Your hands are shaking and you haven't kept eye contact with anyone since your escape attempt. I must admit, I know a few things about you, but it's all very vague. You clearly have some kind of illness because of the ease at which you seem to find unconsciousness; that and how you reacted during our fight as well as when Mello shouted at you. In any case, you're going to have to continue without them." He finishes off the last bit of cake before picking up the strawberry and examining it closely, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. "Why _are_ you so nervous at the moment?"

After Mello's earlier response, I'm not willing to speak. More information than what I would have liked is already out in the open. Nodding to Near, I pull my legs back into their interlocking position as he releases my ankle. Looking down at the infamous thread on my sleeve, I murmur, "I'm sure you already know."

L bites into the strawberry, "Hm, well I'm sure I have a good idea, but why don't you enlighten us all."

My fingers clench tightly, "How about I was somehow taken out of my home to an unknown location with people who I don't know yet are intent on fighting and_ yelling at me?!_" I glare pointedly at Mello who has the decency to look a bit ashamed. I feel a hand on top of mine. Looking down, I see that it's Near's; however, he isn't looking at me. He's looking at my fists. I watch curiously as he slowly pries my fingers open. I look at my now bloody palms, actually unsurprised that my fingernails had dug into them so harshly.

There is a tense silence while L finishes off his strawberry and I stare at the eight crescent-shaped wounds on my palms.

"That is indeed disturbing. I believe you when you say you have no idea how you got here. From everyone's accounts, you were far too surprised when they met you. Come to think of it, what _is_ you name?"

Still looking down at my hands, I answer: "M. My name is M."

I hear the clicking of Matt's gameboy stop. Looking over at them, I see them both staring at me. _That's right, they only receive single-letter names when they do things like detective work! Having a name like 'M' sounds incredibly similar to them!_ Thinking fast, I look down at their feet, "I'm not lying or making it up. That's what I'm called. I don't feel comfortable giving you my full name."

I look back to L's chair only to find him missing. I hear a rustling to my left and turn to see him walking up with a first aid kit. Sitting next to me, he opens it to reveal an arsenal that would have put any hospital to shame. I stutter, "N-no, it's alright, it happens all the time!" I clench my hands and hold back the urge to wince at the sting.

L firmly takes my hand and pries my fingers open once again. After cleaning up the blood, he pulls out white gauze. As he wraps my left palm, he says, "If that's what you're called, then that's fine." I'm shocked, needless to say. _I thought Watari did this kind of thing; I didn't know L even knew how to bandage a wound let alone that he cares enough to do so…_ Curious as to the other boys' reactions, I glance around the room. Near's eyes are wide, his hand stopped on its mission to place yet another white die on top of his tall structures. Looking from the corner of my eye, Mello has stopped mid-bite, mouth gaping. When my gaze flicks to Matt, I see… a knowing smile gracing his face. He winks at me; I immediately look away, willing myself not to blush.

Shutting the first aid kit, he returns it to a small closet. After he settles back in his chair, he softly tells me, "Until we can find your home and how you arrived, we're going to need you to stay here." I nod as he continues, "Where do you live?"

I think about it before deciding that they at least need to know where I live if they can help me home, "Albany, Virginia. Flower Shell Court."

L lifts a laptop into his lap. There's a few moments of near silence while he clicks away (I say 'near silence' because Matt is back to attacking his gameboy and Near: back to stacking dice). L suddenly stops and everyone listens in as his gaze rises slowly to meet mine. "M… that location doesn't exist."

Silence.

I feel myself blink a few times before leaning forward and resting my head on my bandaged hands. _My city doesn't exist. My home doesn't exist. My _**_family_**_ doesn't exist… And I have no idea how to get back to them._

I hear Mello snort, "How is that even possible?"

L answers, "I'm not sure." A pause, "But I think M needs a bit of rest now." I don't even move as I see L's bare feet stride into view.

My voice comes out as a mere whisper, "It's alright, I'll be alright." I continue to stare at the ground numbly. I begin to shake. It moves from my hands through my arms, to my spine. _I can't control it, I need to get away from here!_ I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I stand on unsteady feet. I feel ready to scream in frustration as blackness begins to rush my eyes.

Before I can make another decision, I feel myself being lifted from the ground. In the numbness supplied by my pain, I don't resist. I try to hold back the shaking, knowing what will occur if it continues. I feel myself slipping into old memories as I remember my family. I close my eyes and just wish that I can wake up from this confusing reality.

L walked towards his bedroom with 'M' in his arms. He wasn't concerned with the shaking; he was almost certain that it was due to shock. His thoughts were with his successors; they needed to discuss the events of the day, not to mention the drug trafficking case that had to be dealt with.

"I'm sorry."

He looked down. M was now asleep, but silent tears ran down her cheeks. She shivered, cowering into his white shirt, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Not knowing what to do, he laid the girl in the bed before covering her with a blanket. She curled into a ball under the covers, still crying. Turning to leave, he hesitated. Something just didn't feel right about her leaving her in such a condition. The supposedly emotionless L turned back to her and placed a hand on her forehead.

He stood next to the bed and, after a few minutes, the shaking began to subside along with the apologies. He took his hand off of her forehead almost… reluctantly… and shuffled towards the door.

_"__An interesting intruder indeed…"_


	6. Chapter 6 - Odds & Ends

**Author's Note:** WARNING: By tomorrow afternoon, I most likely WON'T have internet! Therefore, there won't be chapter posts this weekend! I'll try to get one more chapter out before I lose internet tomorrow! Apologies, but look at it this way: That means I just get to write more over the weekend! Sorry for the inconvenience, enjoy this chapter! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 6****\- Odds and Ends**

I wake up, once again, with no idea as to where I am. I slowly untangle myself from the blankets that surround me before laying back down. My head feels remarkably better from the day before, but I know I need to take it easy. The only source of light is from a door cracked across the room from me. I see the pale blue flickering light and hear the soft buzz of electronics. _That must be L's room._ A thought suddenly hits me and I feel myself turning a soft shade of pink, _L must have carried me to the bed he never uses. Way to fight against the damsel in distress stereotype… _

I slowly but steadily sit up and put a hand to my head. _Well it seems that it's no longer necessary to escape. I need to view everyone here with caution but it wouldn't hurt to make some friends. I can at least be a bit more approachable._ I shrug._ After all, when will I ever get another chance to explore the famous Wammy's House?_ Not waiting for any shadow forms to manifest in the darkness, I turn to the edge of the tall four-poster bed and lower myself to the floor. I stand carefully, waiting for the swaying beneath me to stop. Satisfied, I walk quietly towards the door.

Peering around the wooden frame, I see the silhouette of L against the bright screens. I'm not looking forward to being the victim of his unblinking stare again, but I had promised myself that I would try harder to be nice. I check every corner of the room, making sure there's no one else present. Taking a deep breath, I walk to the back of the couch that faces the screens. I notice that all of Near's dice are gone. _How did he manage to carry all of them out of here? He wouldn't have been able to carry them all in his arms… Mello wouldn't help him either. Maybe Watari brought a bag to him?-_

"How are you feeling?"

Startled, I look up. L is turned partially in his chair in order to see me. I curse myself silently, realizing that I must have been staring at where the dice had been for a few minutes. I stutter a response, "I-I'm fine." I notice that one die had been left behind, just barely visible around the edge of the couch leg. I stare at it instead of the dark-haired man's eyes. "Where are the others?"

"I dismissed them to bed. It was quite late when we had our conversation last night."

I realize I have no idea what time it is. I walk forward, reach down, and pick up the singular die. "What time is it anyway? It's so difficult to tell in here…"

He looked up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment, "It's approximately 9:37 in the morning." His eyes flicker back to me, "What do you plan to do while you're here?"

Feeling uncomfortable with nothing to put my back to, I sit down, leaning against the side of the couch. My legs curl up over each other, locking into place. I try to relax; I place my left elbow on my knee and prop my head up with my hand. Examining the die in my right hand, I reply, "Well, if I stay in here for too long I'll go crazy. I'm honestly not sure how you do it!"

I see him nodding out of the corner of my eye, "You may take a look around as long as someone accompanies you." I whip my head around in surprise. _What is he planning? He's just going to let me walk around even though I've already attempted escape? No… He's thought this through. I don't even have anywhere to go to! I'm stuck… and he knows it._

"But," L turns to the small table, picking up a teacup and saucer this time, "I _would_ like to ask you a few questions." He reaches for the sugar bowl, boney white fingers snatching up a sugar cube. I chuckle to myself, _Those poor sugar cubes aren't going to last long…_ He turns to me, a confused expression on his face; it actually looked kind of… cute. "What?"

I look back to my die, "Nothing! Ask away."

He turns to the sugar bowl once again, picking out another sugary victim, "I feel that you may know more than you are divulging. For example:" His head shifts back in my direction, gauging my reaction, "You haven't even asked anything about where you are."

I quickly catch myself before my face can reveal anything. I remain stoney-faced as I feel my stomach flop. _Crap! I knew I had forgotten something!_ I scramble for a response as he continues, "That question would typically be the first on anyone's lips, yet you haven't even asked who I or anyone else is. You haven't asked where you are, you haven't asked what I'm doing with all of these screens or questioned any of the strange appearances or habits of those here. How did you know that I stay in here all day? No one ever mentioned it. In fact, you act and look at everyone you've encountered as though you're already familiar with us."

I resist the urge to fidget. _I need to answer quickly before he realizes this silence is a confirmation of his suspicions._ Rotating the die in my fingers at a furious rate, I quickly piece together a response. I maintain a calm exterior as I turn in time to watch yet another sugar cube fall into his coffee. "I suppose I was so panicked at not being home that all I really thought about was getting out. I don't react well to stressful situations." I wince internally at my choice of the words 'I suppose' coming out of my mouth.

L examines his coffee before reaching to the table, "On the contrary, you think very well under pressure. You planned the exact time when you would make your escape. You waited for everyone to turn to the sound of the door opening to move. Then there was our little scuffle. You used the advantage of typical human reactions to attempt to trick me, which even worked for a time."

I want to smack myself in the face. _Of course he had a camera in that room, you idiot! _I brighten as I recognize a perfect opportunity to play dumb. I allow my eyes to widen in shock, "Wait, you were in the room when I ran?"

As he reaches for another sugar cube, he glances at me out of the corner of his eye, black hair partially obscuring his vision, "No. I had Watari set up a laptop camera behind you."

"Ah.." I murmur softly. _I knew it._ "In response to not asking about everyone, I didn't really need to; I just had to watch and listen. I can tell that those here are, well, odd; in their choice of clothes, habits, and intelligence. The child… Near, right? Was stacking dice yet was able to know that I would strike Mello. Sorry about that, by the way. Mello has an… interesting… sense of fashion and is quite loud. By all appearances, he should be rash, but when he caught me, he was calculating and fast. Matt also has unique clothes and habits yet he can calm Mello and analyze a situation. And you, well, your ability to recognize my anxiety, the fact that the screens are all tuned into criminal actions, and your leadership over everyone… You are clearly the most intelligent. I assume you work almost constantly because you have large bags under your eyes, no offense, and" I look pointedly as he picks up the last sugar cube, "you clearly have quite the sweet tooth."

He takes a sip of his coffee, "Guilty as charged, continue."

Encouraged, I look up, "In running through this place, I can tell it's quite large. There are a lot of doors and an almost equal amount of children." I reign myself in, _Careful! I don't want to give out too much of what I know._ Resting my head back on my hand, I stare down at my bare toes that peek out from under the scarlet red skirt, "But what a crowd of children and four seemingly genius people are doing in the same giant house is beyond me."

There's a moment of quiet, only interrupted by L sipping his coffee. He places the cup back on the saucer with a quiet *chink* and returns it to the table. His hands come to rest back on his knees, "Since you are going to be here a while, I suppose there's no harm in giving you this information. This place is called Wammy's House. It's an orphanage for gifted children. Many of these children are inventors, problem-solvers, young scientists and mathematicians, artists, and more." My ears perk up at the mention of artists. "A select few are chosen to be my successors. Mello and Near are currently tied for that spot."

I look up with feigned innocence, but genuine curiosity, "And you are?"

He meets my eyes, but this time, I cannot jerk my gaze away, "I am L. Considering we aren't sure where you are from, I'm not sure if you've heard of me. I solve the most difficult cases the world has to offer." He brings his hand to his mouth and bites his thumb. Speaking through it, he continues, "You, on the other hand, have a gift for reading people. You know exactly what they will react to and what they're feeling. Like Near mentioned, you're also skilled in combat. I suppose the real question, in this case, is who are _you?_"

My eyes widen in surprise; I wave my hands back and forth in front of my face, flustered, "M-me? I'm a nobody, I'm not that smart! I really don't know what you're talking about!"

I swear a small grin slides onto L's face, "So, you also have low self esteem as well."

I frown indignantly. Before I can respond, there's a knock on the door. L reluctantly moves his eyes from my face and calls, "Come in."

Watari opens the door, a bag in his hands. "The items you requested."

"Thank you, Watari." He faces me once again, "M, that bag is for you. Oh, I'm sorry, this is Watari, Watari, this is M."

Watari smiles at me kindly, "Pleasure to meet you, miss."

I stand up quickly, forgetting my concussion, "OhI'msorry, thepleasure'smine!" The black comes rushing in and I sway a bit. I grab for the arm of the couch, but miss. _Crap!_ I'm again surprised when the strong arms from last night wrap around my waist. I'm immediately thankful for the darkness that hides my red face.

I hear a low voice in my ear, "You should be more careful." I swallow as L steps away from me, keeping a hand on my back.

I steady myself on the couch, not looking back at him, "I'm sorry, thank you, L."

I look up to see a startled Watari, "Are you alright?"

I walk towards him, waving a hand in front of my face, "Yes, yes, of course! I'm fine, thank you for asking!" Peering through his glasses and over his impressive white mustache, he doesn't look like he believes me. Despite this, he hands me the dark bag. I look through it to see a change of clothes, a towel, toothbrush, etc. I look up at him and smile, "Thank you, Watari!"

Stunned by my smile, Watari smiles gently back, "It's no trouble."

Excusing myself, I leave to the bedroom I had first come out of; I find a bathroom just to the left of the entrance. I place the Near's die on the counter, resolving to give it to him later.

_Thank the Lord for showers!_ I peel off my clothes, unwrap my hands, and step in. I smile as I see that all of the soap inside is strawberry scented. I wince as the cuts on my hands sting, but I clean them thoroughly nonetheless. Stepping out, I dry off and hang up the creme-colored towel before looking at my change of clothes. Reddening slightly and trying not to think about how anyone knew my size, I slip on the undergarments. I pull out a long flowing red skirt, the bottom displaying a stitched aztec-like black pattern. _I love it!_ Donning the skirt, it gently brushes the tops of my feet. Before I can forget, I place the lonely die in the pocket.

I freeze when I see the shirt. It's a comfortably loose black shirt… but it's sleeveless. There's a second set of clothes in the bag, but it's no better in regards to my dilemma. Loose black pants that billow out before scrunching up above the ankle and yet another sleeveless red shirt, exactly like the first. _Oh no, what do I do? I can't wear this! Wait, the first aid kit in the closet, maybe I can get more gauze! _

Set with a plan, I put the shirt on. I quickly brush my teeth and wash my face. The mirror reflected sharp cheekbones, slowly brightening brown eyes, and rose-colored lips. I flinch away from it. I've always hated my appearance and the fact that I only seem to know useless skills. Noticing that my high-speed adventure yesterday had done quite a number on my hair, I run a brush through my long hair, sighing with relief. Thanks to the conditioner, it falls into damp waves, sure to curl later. Despite my best efforts, I can't find a hair-tie in the bag. I shrug, _Oh well, I'll have to find one._

Walking back into the bedroom, I fold up the extra set of clothes and place them on the floor in a corner. I put my dirty clothes into the black bag, placing it on the now folded extra outfit. I make a mental note to ask Watari if I can use the washer. _It seems like they're unwilling to deviate from my favorite colors. Oh well, it's generous that they're giving me these clothes in the first place!_

Straightening up, I pause. _Are they… afraid of me? I attacked L, I struck Mello, I somehow intruded into their home. _A slight twinge of guilt grips my heart, only supplying more of a reason to try to interact pleasantly with everyone. I stop in front of the bedroom door, quickly recalling the layout of the room in order to retrieve the gauze as soon as possible. I open the door and try to walk casually to the closet. I kneel down, quickly pulling out the first aid kit. I know that L's watching me, but I ignore him.

I hear his voice from his perch, "Are you hurt?"

I throw a smile over my shoulder, "I'm alright, don't worry about it!" I turn back and begin to wrap gauze around my forearms. Luckily it's dark enough, even with the monitors flashing, that I can't even see what's on my forearms. I hear only silence as I finish wrapping them both. Luckily I hadn't even made a dent in the stores of the kit. Shutting the lid, I place it back in the closet and slowly stand up. I turn around to see L looking at my curiously. I quickly hide my arms behind my back, my right hand clutching my left wrist. "I'm gonna go look around now!" I walk to the door, the material of my skirt softly brushing against my legs.

"M." I stop and turn reluctantly towards L. He's now leaning against the back of the couch, analyzing me. _Lordy, he got there fast!_ I can almost swear I see an expression of sadness upon as face, almost as if he already knows… "Please remember to have someone with you at all times."

I'm suddenly overcome with a wave gratefulness, but not just because he didn't ask about my arms. _L isn't locking me up, he's trying to help me despite the fact that I intruded in his home. _Going against all codes of my anxiety, I walk the few steps back and wrap my arms around him. I feel him stiffen in surprise. I release him and turn around, not looking back. "Thank you, L." I turn the doorknob, open the heavy door, and make my exit.

Silence remains in my wake. The antisocial man puts a thumb to his lips and murmurs, "What a strange girl…"


	7. Chapter 7 - Touring Wammy's House

**Author's Note:** Once again: I probably won't have internet this weekend, so there won't be updates! I'll write as much as I can before I get back. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 7****\- Touring Wammy's House**

I close the large mahogany door behind me, releasing a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Leaning back against the door, I take a much needed moment to collect my thoughts. _What the hell was that? I just hugged L! I punched him in the gut yesterday, and now a hug? What's wrong with me?! _A voice pulls me out of my thoughts, "Hey, you just gonna stand there all day or what?"

I jump about a foot in the air, skirt twirling as I spin to my right to see Mello standing at the top of the small set of stairs, smirking down at me. Looking around, I realize that the double doors are at the landing of the main staircase. _Wow. I must've sprinted right past them yesterday! No wonder L knew where I was escaping to… And he says I have great observation skills, psh._

"Hey! You still there?" A gloved hand waves in front of my face. My own whips out and grabs it. I immediately release it as soon as I realize Mello's attached to said hand.

Before he can explode, I apologize quickly, "Oops, sorry!" I make the effort to look into Mello's face. He glances down at my wrapped arms, eyes narrowing. He thankfully doesn't say anything, but I'm pretty sure the only reason he doesn't shout at me for grabbing his hand is because he's trying to discover what I'm hiding. _In all honesty, I guess it's not that hard to figure out._ I would have continued my train of thought, but I'm distracted by the boy next to Mello who's shifting impatiently from foot to foot. He stands only 2 inches taller than me, but is clearly young. He wears a sleeveless green shirt; a shade of green that matches the grass stains embedded in his brown shorts. Hazel eyes look down his freckled nose at me. The pale skin contrasts greatly with his wild… red… hair…

I gasp and point at him, "You're the traitor!" After a moment of silence, the red-haired boy throws his head back and bursts into laughter. While the laughter continues, Mello glances between us, confused.

He wipes tears from his eyes before saying, "Yeah, I was the one who told them where you were, but what would you have done in my place?"

I grudgingly murmur, "Good point…"

Mello walks down the main stairs, the leather of his pants and vest rubbing against each other, "Not that this isn't incredibly interesting, but I have things to do. That's Axel, he'll be showing you around Wammy's House." Without another word, he turns into a room on the left of the main hall.

My cheeks puff out in indignation, "Well bye then!"

I feel a hand come down on my shoulder and I jump. I whip back around to face Axel, my skirt flying, before quickly gripping the railing as the ground sways slowly beneath me. He smiles at me, "You'll get used to him! Where do you want to go?"

Still clutching the railing for dear life, I inspect him while the ground settles into place. Up close, Axel has a few interesting characteristics. He has three black hoop piercings on the top of his left ear; a silver ball and chain earring hangs from his right earlobe. A long pink scar runs along the right side of his face- "Hey now, wait a minute!" He waves his hands in front of his face. Still smiling, he runs his right hand through his wild mane of hair, "If you want to know something about me, you can just ask, you know! You don't have to throw your brain into overdrive like Mello and Near."

_I like this kid already. _I feel no sense of anxiety around him; I meet his gaze with comfort. I've always done better around children._ Kids never hold nearly as much judgement in their eyes as adults do._ Smiling up at him, I ask, "Alrighty then! How old are you? You're pretty tall."

Axel laughs yet again, throwing his head back. Although taken aback by the volume, I continue smiling, glad that there's someone around who's so happy. "I get that a lot! But let's start our tour before lessons come around. I'm 13 by the way!"

I nod and think for a moment, "Why don't we start at the bottom of the house. Wait, you're 13?! But you're so tall!" I find myself speaking to him easily, almost like it's second nature.

Axel shrugs, lifting the back of his right hand to his forehead, before dramatically exclaiming, "It's a curse yet a gift!"

Axel walks to the right of the main hall, taking the opposite doorway from where Mello had departed. We walk into the doorway of a huge dining room. I slowly step partially behind Axel, uncomfortable with the number of people in the room. I study the long sturdy table that runs the length of the room; at least 30 cream-cushioned chairs line either side of it. A large crystal chandelier hangs above the center. A few children sit at the table, clearly starting a late breakfast. I almost giggle when a young boy and girl, barley awake, grab the same piece of toast. Shaking herself out of her sleepy stupor, the girl turns pink and hurriedly releases it, reaching for another.

Axel stands with is hands in his shorts pockets. He turns his head to smile at me, his scar crinkling, "To state the obvious, this is the dining room! And the few that are here are those who tend to wake up a tad bit later than the rest of us."

I whisper to him, trying not to attract any attention, "Oh? What time is it now?"

"Hm?" Axel pulls an ancient-looking pocket watch from his left pocket. I raise my eyebrows. Seeing my expression, he says brightly, "This was a gift from my grandfather!" Looking back down at the watch, he says, "It's about 10:45. Most kids are up by this time." Placing his watch in his pocket, he grabs my hand and yanks me towards a pair of doors across the room. "OFF TO THE KITCHEN!"

Much to my discomfort, Axel strides confidently toward the door, dragging me behind him. One of the girls at the table suddenly stands up from her seat, "But Axel, we're not allowed in there!"

He stops and turns towards her, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout "Aw, but Laaadyyyyy! I'm giving M the tour!" He turns to continue walking into the kitchen, but I stop his progress, sensing something familiar about the girl.

She has beautiful shoulder-length black hair. Her heart-shaped face and rosy cheeks reveal that she can't be more than twelve. Her skin is a lovely tanned color that compliments her brown eyes. The black leotard she wears gives her identity away. I approach her quickly, "I'm so sorry that I crashed into you yesterday! I was kind of…" I scratched the back of my head and smile sheepishly, "… In a hurry."

She blinks a few times, surprised that I had recognized her, before smiling softly at me, "It's alright, no harm done!"

Knowing that Lady is probably my best chance to solve my hair dilemma, I lead forward, my long hair waving in front of my face, "Hey, you don't happen to have an extra hair-tie, do you?"

Lady giggles, reaches down, and pulls a black band from her wrist. I take it from her and pull my hair back into a high ponytail. Breathing a sigh of relief, I smile at her, "You're a life saver!"

An arm hooks around mine, pulling me away, "That's enough with the chit-chat," Axel says cheerily. He points directly ahead with an excited vigor, "We have a tour to complete!"

I mumble almost to myself, "Damn kid, you've got quite the arm there!" My freed hand flies to my mouth, _There are children present!_

Axel begins to march off, a determined grin on his face when Lady speaks up again, "Axel… the kitchen's the other way." Looking in the direction we had been going, I realize that we would have gone right back where we came from. He freezes for a moment, grin plastered on his face, before running a hand through his wild hair.

He spins on a dime, pulling me with him, "I knew that! I was just wondering if anyone would notice! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Meanwhile, being yanked around had effected my head terribly. The floor swoops beneath me and I sag to the ground. I feel small feet storming up to us, "AXEL, YOU IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

I look up at them through the small group of black dots that lazily drift across my vision. Axel fiddles with his three piercings atop his left ear awkwardly, "Mello… MAY have mentioned she got a concussion yesterday…" Lady looks like she wants to throttle him. He steps back, "Sorry! I guess I didn't really think that through, did I?"

I begin to laugh from my position on the floor. I sit up slowly, clutching my side. My laughter dies down; I wipe tears from my eyes. I suddenly realize that it's totally silent; no clattering of silverware, no soft conversations, no nothing. I feel multiple pairs of eyes on me, _So much for keeping a low profile… _

Axel and Lady are looking down at me, nonplussed. Axel asks, "What's so funny?"

Afraid they're angry, I smile softly, "Sorry, it's just that I haven't been around people in so long that it's refreshing to be around such interesting characters."

A grin breaks out across Axel's face as he offers me a hand. Another, far more slender hand, appears next to his and I look to its owner to see Lady smiling as well. They haul me to my feet and Axel puts an arm around my shoulders, "No need to be sorry! It's nice to hear such genuine laughter from someone else in this place! Usually it's all 'study harder!' and 'pressure pressure pressure', so not many kids laugh like that!"

Looking to Lady for confirmation, she nods, "You have a nice voice as well, almost captivating."

I turn a shade of pink, "Ah-oh, no I-" Not knowing what to say, I rub the back of my head, "Sorry for interrupting your breakfast, Lady!"

Not missing a beat, she brushes a black lock of hair behind her ear, "It was a welcome interruption, but you should probably continue the tour. After all," she looks up at Axel, towering over her 4' form, who looks away, "LESSONS start in a while." Axel glances down at her before quickly grabbing my hand and turning towards the kitchen, ball-and-chain earring swinging wildly.

The petite girl's voice carries from behind us, a warning tone audible, "Axel…"

He pushes open the door to the kitchen, calling behind him, "Yeah, yeah, I know!" He grins down at me a smile that clearly says 'Hooky, anyone?' I grin back conspiratorially as the door swings shut behind us.

The kitchen tour is cut short by a shrewd-eyed, grandmotherly chef. After brandishing a wooden spoon at Axel, we dart out of the door to the right of our entrance. The only glimpse I catch is of a lot of wooden cabinets, a marble island, shiny silver utensils, and black tile floors.

Slowing down, the door introduces us to a hallway with a worn forest green carpet and wooden paneled walls that reaches, what I assume, all the way to the other side of the house. Only three doors grace the left side of the hallway; one directly across from us, the other two equally spaced away. _They must be pretty big rooms,_ I muse to myself. Two other doors match their counterparts on the side of the hallway we had burst out from.

Axel winks at me before striding to the door across from us and- unceremoniously kicking it open with a BANG! He walks into the doorway, planting his hands on his hips. He smirks and hollers out, "HELLOOOOO, EVERYONE! AXEL IS HERE!" Peering over his shoulder, I almost burst out laughing when all 5 children (except for one boy) ignores him. Clearly, they're used to this. Axel crosses his arms, pouting, "You guys are no fun…"

Looking around, I realize it's a playroom; heavy purple curtains on the windows are pulled back so that sunlight can come streaming in. The windows line two walls of the room, forming the back left corner of Wammy's House. There's a single table by one of the windows, 2 chairs resting on opposite sides, since everyone seems to prefer working on the floor. The children sit quietly, either solving puzzles, reading a book, or (in one case) 2 playing a game of chess on the solitary table. Tall white bookshelves occupy the walls opposite the windows, containing puzzles, boxes of board games, a few books, and baskets of stacking blocks.

A little boy with cropped blonde hair and brown eyes sprints up to Axel. He stops short of the doorway; looking down, I notice a line of dominoes running along the outside of the room, climbing over and around any objects in their way. Knowing what's at the end, I leave Axel and the little boy to a game of rock-paper-scissors (to which Axel had determinedly accepted the challenge).

I'm interrupted on the quest when I'm about to step over a little girl with beautiful light chocolate skin who must be about 10 years old laying in my way. Her dark brown hair lays in a braid across the floor beside her, but would undoubtedly reach her waist if she were to stand. _It seems like everyone here has their own sense of fashion._ I think this because the girl is wearing blue jean overalls. Underneath is a short-sleeved bleached blue shirt. What had truly mades me stop, however, is that she's sketching a small vase of flowers that sits on the windowsill. I gently tap her shoulder. Shockingly sapphire blue eyes turn to look at me. Stunned, it takes me a moment to speak, "May I look at your work?" Those beautiful eyes widen in surprise, but she nods nonetheless.

Laying down on my stomach next to her, I take a look. She's very good, the daisies shaded to perfection. However, I notice that she's having trouble drawing the daffodils. Careful not to smear the graphite, I point at the space that had been repeatedly erased, "Why are the daffodils so difficult when your daisies are beautiful?"

The girl sighs and leans her head on her right hand, "I just can't get the shapes right. No matter how many time I try, they won't come out right!"

Knowing exactly what she means, I ask softly, "Want a bit of advice?"

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, her blue orbs wary, "Is this the kind of advice that the other kids give?"

I shake my head, "No, I want to give you genuine advice."

Her eyes narrow in suspicion, "How can you know what the other kids say if I haven't told you?"

I flip my ponytail to the side opposite the girl and lay my head own on the floor, looking at her. "Because I know what everyone says. 'That's not right', 'Why don't you draw me?', 'What is that?', 'It doesn't look very good'. Hun, that's called criticism, and not constructive criticism."

She puts her pencil down, and asks with a genuine curiosity, "Who are you?"

I smile, knowing that I'm getting through to her, "I'm M. Hey," I look around in mock suspicion before leaning towards her, "Can I tell you something that no one here knows yet?"

Eyes wide, she moves her head closer. I whisper into her ear, "Back at home, I'm an illustrator!"

Leaning back, she looks at me with awe. "Really?" Her mouth is open in a surprised 'O' shape.

I nod, smiling, "Really!"

She smiles for the first time, a truly beautiful smile that lights up her entire face, "Did you go to one of those fancy art schools?"

I wince internally, but continue smiling, "Yes, I did! I learned a lot there! So, do you want my advice?"

She nods eagerly, clearly waiting to drink in every word I would say. I point to the vase, "Draw what you see, not what you _think_ you see." Her brow wrinkles in confusion. I chuckle lightly and continue, "When I say the word 'flower', you think of something like this-" I take a discarded ball of paper, smooth it out, and draw a generic cartoonish flower. The girl nods. "But when you look a that-" I point once again to the vase, "It doesn't look like my drawing, does it?" She shakes her head. "You see, sometimes the different halves of our brain mix the two together, and that's how most mistakes happen."

Her eyes brighten in understanding, "I see! Thank you!"

I stand up slowly, brushing my skirt into place, "Your welcome." I'm about to continue on my quest when I look back to her and ask, "What's your name?"

She smiles at me, "Shayna!"

I smile gently back, "That's a beautiful name, Shayna. Good luck!" I continue on to find my target.

Stepping gingerly over the lines of dominos that steadily grow in number, I approach the hunched over figure clothed in white. Near sits in a corner, away from the others; he stacks the white dominos with a concentration rare to children his age. Though the rows of dominos increase as I approach, I manage to clamber over them all into the circle of domino-less space around Near.

Near stacks a last domino before sitting back, twirling a single lock of his white hair. I reach my hand down and put it gently on his shoulder, "Hi, Near!"

He turns to look up at me, "Hello, how is your tour going?"

I look back to Axel who looks furiously down at his poor choice of scissors against the younger boy's fist. "As you can see, it's a tad slow… Axel's awesome, but is easily distracted." Axel loses yet again and declares a rematch. The two go back to furiously pumping their fists, counting off to the showdown.

Near nods, still twirling his hair, "He never wins, you know." I suddenly think of Axel losing over and over again, growing steadily more furious.

I begin to laugh. Near looks up at me curiously, eyes widening. Axel looks up at me, his eyes narrowed into an expression so fierce that I'm was surprised I haven't burst into flames already, "WHAT?!"

I hurriedly hide my mouth behind my hand, "Nothing, you can beat him!"

He swings his head back, ball-and-chain earring flying, "HELL YEAH!" He begins yet another game.

I turn down to the confused Near who had paused in twirling his hair. I kneel down in front of him, still smiling, "Lady and Axel told me that no one here laughs, _please_ tell me that's not true!"

Before he can answer, an enraged shriek of yet another defeat comes from Axel. Near smiles oh so slightly as he answers, "I can see why they say that. But it seems your arrival has brightened a few people." Looking at the other children, my eyes widen in shock when I can see that he's right. They're all watching the furious rock-paper-scissors tournament with smiles. While before they had all seemed to just be working out of habit, now everyone seems more lively. "Axel has always been the loudest, but it's been a while since I've seen him actually interacting with this much vigor. Not to mention Shayna." I look down at the little girl who's smiling at her sketch, "She's been independent of everyone, not really speaking much. She's usually quite withdrawn but you made her smile." He looked up at me nonchalantly, beginning to curl his hair again, "You've only been here for a day yet you're effecting this place in a way I've never seen."

I turn back to Near with tears in my eyes. Before I think my actions through, I lean forward and hug him. I feel him stiffen, much like L; I pull away. He looks up at me, eyes wide, "Why did you do that?"

I give him a watery smile, brushing the strand of hair that was too short to pull back behind my ear, "Well… you see… My life back home has always been… difficult. I wasn't surrounded by kind people like you have here. It's just been such a long time since someone has said that I've had a positive effect on others, that I'm welcome somewhere." A tear drops to my lap, so I raise my arm and hurriedly wipe away any that may follow. "I'm sorry if that sounds confusing, but I really do appreciate what you said!"

Near looks at me silently, slowly relaxing. He reaches forward and gently takes ahold of my hands. Drawing them to him, he examines them, white hair falling into his gray eyes. He asks quietly, "Why didn't you wrap your hands?"

I shrug, "The cuts really weren't that bad, I can survive without wrapping them. I cleaned them, don't worry!"

Against my hopes, I see his head tilt up. I know he's looking at my bound forearms. He slowly places his right hand on my left forearm, "And this?"

I hesitate for what I know is a second too long, "Nothing, it's alright!" I give him, what I hope is, a reassuring smile. He stays silent, studying my face.

Before he can question me further, we hear the sound of a bell ring three times. Looking around for the source, I ask, "What does that mean?" Axel lets out a whoop from across the room before darting out of the room. _Well there goes my guide…_ The other children begin to put their toys and puzzles away, the pair playing chess replace the pieces, Shayna picks up her sketchbook, before leaving.

Near stands up and brushes himself off. He grabs a few small action figures, "Lunch."

I slowly stand up next to him. "Oh…" I'm surprised that so much time has passed, _weren't Axel and I just in the dining room?_ I ask Near, "Hang on, what time is it? We just got here!"

Continuing to grab a last selection of toys, he says, "It's noon. You stood in the doorway for quite a while, staring into space."

I sigh, "Yeah, that sounds about right…" _That means we were probably in the dining room for longer than I thought as well._

We begin to walk to the door when I remember the original reason for my quest, "Wait a minute!" Near jumps slightly, unprepared for my exclamation. I fish around in my skirt pocket before smiling and handing him the white die I had found in L's room. "You forgot this!"

He examines it before looking back up at me with a wry smile on his lips, "Thank you." He pockets it before we both depart for the dining room in a companionable silence.


	8. Chapter 8 - Lunch & Numbers

**Author's Note:** I'm back! We return to the story with a bit of tension and a lot of unanswered questions. To make it up to everyone, the next chapter will be quite interesting!. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 8****\- Lunch &amp; Numbers**

Near and I walk into the dining room to find that almost all of the chairs are taken. I notice that the empty seats belong to the missing faces of the children who had been there for the late breakfast. A few have returned for lunch, despite having just eaten. The table is laden with different platters of sandwiches (ham, turkey, egg salad, et cetera), large bowls of chips, dishes of fruit, pitchers of drinks with labels on them, and a stack of condiments on either end as well as the center. I shake my head, ponytail flying, _I'm impressed that the table isn't bending under the weight of it all._

Though there's a large number of children around a lot of food, I'm pleased to hear that they're all relatively quiet, passing trays and platters around politely. _Seeing as how both Axel and Mello are at the same table, I doubt it'll stay that way for long. _Axel is sitting next to Lady, talking animatedly about our 'near-death experience' with the cook. Poor Lady looks like she's been enduring this one-sided conversation for a while now; she isn't even attempting to pay attention anymore, patiently nibbling on an apple slice. Axel isn't deterred and continues with his story, waving a spoon through the air. He occasionally glares down the table at the boy he had been playing rock-paper-scissors with, his eyes burning with an unspoken need for a rematch. Mello and Matt sit at the far end of the table near the window, talking quietly.

Uncomfortable with the number of people in the room, my fingers flutter back and forth nervously. Fully preparing to sit this particular activity out, I jump slightly when a familiar hand wraps around mine. Near walks towards the far end of the table, gently dragging me along with him. I smile softly; Near doesn't have many friends, I know that feeling all too well myself. _If I can sit with him and make his day a little less lonely, I will. _

We walk past the chairs, listening to the gentle clinking of silverware on plates. Thankfully, most of the children are too busy with food to stare at the 'monkey'. I had noticed that nickname had been dying down as well. _My actual name must be finally getting around._ Shayna waves at me as we walk past, so I return it with a small smile. Hoping not to draw more attention to myself, watch Near's feet and hurry along.

We reach two vacant cream-colored chairs across form Mello and Matt. Near sits down without hesitation while I shyly slip into mine. Matt flashes me a friendly grin before going back to furiously tapping on his gameboy. Mello continues to talk to him, not saying a word to us, though I know that he's aware of our presence.

Near, however, doesn't seem to mind. He takes his armful of colorful action figures and begins to calmly set them up around the opposite edge of his plate. Once he's set them all down, he begins to twirl his snow white hair and examine his work. Mello roll his eyes; I resist the urge to kick him under the table. What I'm not bold enough to do, Matt does. Almost as if he had been watching the entire time, I see him sway away from Mello, who jerks back, glaring at Matt. I stifle a snicker behind my hand, covering it as a cough. Mello's blue eyes dart to me, but hurriedly return to Matt.

Since we're all sitting at the end of the table, we have quite a few sandwich platters, chip bowls, and fruit dishes pretty much to ourselves. Mello and Matt already have the remnants of sandwich crusts or crumbs on their plates. At this point, Mello is eating yet another chocolate bar while Matt periodically reaches forward and snags a chip. Near reaches forward, plucking a ham sandwich off of a platter, opens it to place a tomato on the cheese, and begins to eat.

Not knowing what else to do besides keep Near company, I simply watch the peaceful scene. _It's been so long since I could just sit and not feel like I have to do anything. I don't feel like I'm an outcast here, like I'm _supposed_ to be sitting at this table. It's almost as if I've been living here for years!_ I lose myself in my thoughts, watching the light refract off of the crystal in the chandelier. _Maybe… maybe I _am_ supposed to be here. Maybe this wasn't an accident… _Uncomfortable with the lack of answers, I begin to unconsciously shift my bare feet side to side, back and forth, feeling out the soft carpet.

Children steadily begin to finish their meals and depart the room. Some remain, talking to each other or, in Axel's case, restarting the never-ending rock-paper-scissors battle. I quietly sit throughout the unbroken silence at our end of the table; I look back at the boys, who are all done eating at this point. I stiffen as I meet Mello's eyes, which don't look away this time. I quickly glance at Matt, hoping to find a respite from the glare. Unfortunately, even he's looking up from his game; Near has stopped playing with his toys.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat, twisting the fabric of the long red skirt in my hands under the table, "What?"

Matt speaks up, "Well, you haven't eaten anything."

I begin to trace the outside of my plate with my pinky finger. I shrug, "I'm not hungry."

Mello's eyes narrow, "You came here yesterday. You ran all throughout Wammy's House, hopped the fence, duked it out with L, had a concussion, _and_ a late night interrogation. Lady says you and Axel flew out of here like a bat out of hell during breakfast. You mean to tell me that after all of that, you're not even a little hungry?"

I feel my stomach flop, _I was hoping they wouldn't ask me about this. _In a futile attempt to avoid the question, I smile, "Aw, Mello, do I sense an air of concern about you?"

His cheeks go a bit pink before he stands up from his chair, flustered. His rosary swings towards me, "Tha-that's not it!" He realizes how loud he's become; he brushes his shoulder-length hair back, crossing his arms. He remains standing, glaring down at me, "It's really not that hard to feel your ribs practically stabbing anyone who touches you! Anyone would think that you've never eaten in your life! L is interested in how you got here, so we're obligated to look after you!" Unable to control himself, the last phrase climbs back up to a soft roar. Near stops curling his hair, glancing in my direction.

I flinch at the words 'we're obligated'. _They're familiar._ Feeling the burning of tears that I already know won't fall, I look down at my hands in my lap. I lean backward, slowly sinking into my chair. Mello only ever knows how to yell, but if he thinks that making me feel guilty would get him anywhere, he's wrong.

Matt doesn't even look up from his game as he mutters, "Wow, Mello."

Mello realizes how harsh his words are, but has no idea what to do about it; he simply sits back down. A tense silence stretches between the four of us until I break it. I finally look up, directly into Mello's eyes, speaking in a hoarse whisper, "I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience."

Mello opens his mouth to say something, but is cut off when the bell rings once; all of the children begin to rise. I turn to Near with a questioning look to see him, once again, picking up his action figures. "That means lessons are going to begin." I nod quietly; I would have laughed at the sight of the tiny-yet-dignified Lady dragging Axel by the ear away from the table, that is, if I didn't feel so awful about Mello's comment.

Mello and Matt are already walking towards the door with the rest of the children. I feel a bit of satisfaction as I see Mello's cheeks are a bit pink in his embarrassment. It helps even more that Matt smacks Mello on the back of his blonde head. I sit in my seat and look back down at my empty plate. _I won't tell them, I _can't_ tell them! _

A small white-sleeved hand places a peach on my plate. I look up into Near's gray eyes. He remains seemingly unemotional as he says, "All of us may make as many theories as we wish, but we won't truly know if they're true until you tell us. Whenever you do, we'll be here. Despite all impressions, we'll ALL be here. In the meantime, please eat that."

I feel a nervous, panicked shiver run along my limbs. _He knows… They all know… No, calm down; like he said, they can't know unless I tell them._ I want to cry, all I want to do is break down and tell Near everything… but I've had practice at choking down my emotions for years now. Instead, I stand, hugging him yet again. I feel him stiffen, but not as much as before.

Without another word, he shuffles to the doorway, his too-long pajamas catching underneath his feet.

Wanting to honor his request, I pick up the peach. It's a beautiful color, probably perfectly ripe. I slowly bite into it. It tastes sweet, incredibly good. I feel my stomach drink in, yet at the same time, resist the rare intake of food. Despite my body's rebellion, I know that I _do_ need some food in me. Determined to conquer at least one of my problems, I continue to eat the peach.

Even though I try to shake off Mello's words, I still feel the uneasy tingling in my limbs. Knowing what will happen if the anxiety builds too much, I need to distract myself. I remember that there are quite a few unopened doors in the main hallway, I decide to go exploring. I place the core of the peach on my plate, feeling a bit nauseated yet accomplished. I tighten my ponytail and set out.

Peeking my head through the kitchen door, I scour the room for the 'vicious' cook. Seeing that the coast is clear, I dart for the hallway. I walk to past the door to the playroom, skirt swishing softly against my legs. I'm about to open the next door on the far wall when I hear voices from behind it. Even though I hadn't walked through it, I jump back from the door. _Crap! They must be having a lesson in there!_ I hurriedly move on, _I'm sorry!_

The next room sounds quiet so I gently open the door and look inside. It's a library. Ceiling to floor, rich brown-colored shelves covered in books of all sizes. Not a one looks dusty or unused. The two walls that form the back-right corner of Wammy's House have windows exactly like the playroom, draped with curtains so green they're almost black; the main difference is that there are forest green cushioned window seats on all of the windows that face the empty backyard.

I see the oak tree from which I fell only yesterday. Suddenly, a phrase Mello said echoes, unbidden, through my mind, "-we're obligated to look after you!" I wince, hugging myself. _If you were going to hate me so much, why didn't you just let me fall?_ I think bitterly. Before I can delve into further depressing thoughts, I continue my observation of the room.

A small ancient-looking desk rests against a window, looking out on the right side of the lawn. A cup upon it holds everything from simple plastic pens to long feathery quills. A few sheets of paper lay ready for use.

I would have appreciated it further, but I'm running out of time. Trying to keep the anxious tingling down, I quickly enter the room. _I need to find a distraction, quickly!_ The shelves are all labeled with the genre of their contents. Luckily, I find a book of sudoku puzzles on a low shelf. I straighten up, brightening. I've always loved sudoku, burning through every puzzle in record time. Every puzzle has one answer, everything fits into place. It makes me very good at spotting patterns and solving codes. I flip through it, noticing that only a few in the beginning have been completed.

I walk over to the desk, borrowing a plastic pen from it. My satisfaction with the discovery is short-lived: _I'm not supposed to leave L's room without an escort!_ Feeling guilty about my unintentional betrayal, I turn towards the door.

A wave of dizziness hits me. _No… I wasn't fast enough! _The tingling consumes my head, clawing it's way into my mind. My limbs go limp and I fall to the floor; my world passing into darkness as I faint.

I slowly blink the dots out of my eyes; I put my left hand to my head to try to ease the thumping. _Oh yeah, concussion_. I'm relatively pleased to see that my head had collapsed on my right arm, cushioning it from the wooden floor. I sit up slowly before collecting my sudoku book and pen. I know that a lot of time hasn't passed; my fainting spells are typically very short. I'm just glad no one had witnessed it; those would be some questions that I just can't answer.

I stand, brushing off my skirt, shirt, and my hair (which had fanned out on the floor). I look gingerly out the doorway, checking that the coast is clear; I gently close the door behind me. Keeping a hand to the wall on my right, I slowly walk down the hall. I pass the room where the lessons are being held, but now I can hear soft music playing behind the door. I make a mental note to explore that room later.

My pleading to the Lord pays off when I see that the cook is still not present in the kitchen. I walk through the dining room, noticing that all of the dishes have already been cleared away. My footsteps echo in a lonely sort of way off the floors of the main hall, _This house is way bigger than they made it sound!_

It seems like it takes me forever and a day to ascend the stairs. I occasionally sit on the carpeted stairs, taking a breather. My fainting spells may be short, but it fatigues my body. I reach for the large doorknob at the landing, but stop as I'm overcome with nervousness. My hand hovers there in mid-air, _I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the idea that L is behind this door and that I'm supposed to go see him._ Composing myself, I brush one last bit of lint off my shirt before opening the door as quietly as possible. It opens without a single creak from the ancient hinges.

The room is so dark that it takes me a while to view my surroundings, even with the monitors' assistance. Everyone is facing away from the door, looking at a code that's repeated on three monitors; two others in my view are on profiles of some grubby looking men. I see the strap of Matt's goggles on the back of his shaggy head that peaks up from behind the couch. I get the sick feeling in my stomach all over again as I see Mello leaning against the back of the couch. I feel a bit better when I see a hunched figure on the floor, slowly twirling his hair. L's chair is now positioned next to the couch, facing his successors. He crouches in it, his hands on his knees.

I let my eyesight adjust to the brutal contrast of the monitors, quietly watching everyone. No one says a word, all of them watching the screens (although L's gaze darts back to his successors, occasionally). Not wanting to disturb them and _really_ not wanting to talk to Mello, I begin to walk towards the bedroom. _I'll just do the sudoku puzzles in there._

As my feet silently walk across the carpet, my eyes wander back to the mysterious detective one last time… and I wish they hadn't. L is looking at me; in his eyes I see a million questions and a million theories. Most of all, I see that he knows. The boys had clearly told him of the quarrel at lunch and about how I wouldn't eat. He raises a thumb to his lips, without breaking eye contact. I suddenly know that they had been discussing me before I came in; the codes on the monitors may belong to a real case, but they were talking about me like gossiping schoolgirls.

My heart clenches with a sense of betrayal, _But why? Like Mello said, it's their job to find out how I got here. L is doing everything he can to help me when he could have, just as easily, imprisoned me. They aren't trying to hurt me at all, I'm just being sensitive. _I take a deep breath in, attempting to calm myself.

I turn myself to fully face L. I give him a calm look that tells him that I know he knows, that I don't want to talk about it, and that I _wouldn't_ talk about it. I let my eyes dart to the bedroom, a silent plea to let me leave; I see him nod oh-so-slightly. Breathing a sigh of relief, I hurry into the bedroom.

For the next couple of hours, I lose myself to the numbers, not thinking of where I am or who's in the next room. The numbers circle my head before I finally let my head rest on the book, a dreamless sleep enveloping me at last.

Bare feet pad up to the bed before dark eyes studied the sleeping girl. It had been a long day with less than fruitful results. Though his successors studied the data with him, they still had yet to crack the code he had intercepted from the drug bosses. He raised his thumb to his lips as he looked down at her.

Despite M spending a lot of the day with Near, they hadn't been able to really discover anything about her. L found himself worrying about her health; her arms, the unconsciousness, the lack of food- He hesitated, stunned by his own thought process. He analyzed his feelings only to discover that he was indeed worried about her. He frowned slightly; he would have to gather information himself.

Long fingers reached down and plucked the sudoku book out from under her head. Looking through the dozens of pages she had completed, he noticed that she hadn't written down any small numbers that most people used. He looked in the back of the book to find that the answers had been ripped out. He chuckled softly; she was more intelligent than she gave herself credit for.

He drew the blanket over her and placed the sudoku book on the pillow next to hers. He then shuffled towards the door, ready to take another look at the code.


	9. Chapter 9 - Games of All Kinds

**Author's Note:** ***I don't own Death Note or Halo, only my OC's***

**Chapter 9****-** **Games of All Kinds**

Today I wear the black pants and red sleeveless top; I have already showered, rewrapped my arms, put my hair up with Lady's hair tie, and grabbed my sudoku book. My dirty clothes are all in the black bag in the corner. _I really need to find Watari today…_ However, when I peer around the bedroom door, I'm met with a pleasant surprise.

I had been expecting to see L, working away at the monitors as he always is; instead, he's missing. The monitors are still on the lines of code. I can't help but find myself thinking that a few lines look awfully familiar… I shake myself, _It's none of my business_. Approaching the couch, I hear a steady breathing sound; I peek over the edge. My eyes widen as I see that it's L, sleeping!

I stand in shock, watching him for a while. His face is the most peaceful I've ever seen, in real life or the anime. The shadows under his eyes don't seem as pronounced, making him look years younger. His hair falls over his eyes, though I can see through the gaps that they're closed. The white shirt rises and falls with his breathing, in and out. His legs are tucked under him, bare feet peeking out from his jeans.

All of the sudden, I realize that I've been leaning forward to study him. I hurriedly lurch back, a few stray black spots peeking in to say hello at the corners of my vision. Looking back down, I stifle a giggle at this strange situation. I tuck a stray strand of reddish-brown hair behind my ear, _He really is just like a child. You know, L, if you're busy protecting the world, who's protecting you? _I pause, thinking about that statement. _He spends so much time chasing down justice that he really must get tired of it sometimes. Watari's more like a father to him than a friend. In fact, I'm not sure he knows how to make friends. It must have been quite the lonely childhood…_

Wanting to do something for him, I quickly step back into the bedroom. Yanking a spare blanket off the foot of the bed, I unfold it and return to the main room. I gently drape it over the sleeping detective. Smiling at my success, I turn to leave. I pause, seeing a rare window of opportunity. I walk over the the small table covered in cakes. Buried under a few plates are a few remotes to the monitors. Keeping an eye on L, I lower the brightness settings on them all. _That'll teach you to ruin your eyesight! _I replace them all exactly where I found them (_Thought I doubt it'll make a difference, he's going to notice either way_), and walk out the door.

I pause on the landing, not sure which way to go. _I'm not sure where Axel is and if I go searching for him I'll just get lost. I know what's to the right of the main hall… But what's on the left? Where Mello went?_ I decide to find out. Descending the stairs, I slowly approach the doorway.

Peeking around the corner, I feel my jaw drop. Inside, a wild head of hair (who I know can only be Matt) is sitting in a beanbag chair, playing some game on an xbox. Another head of smoother, shoulder-length hair (which must be Mello) sits next to him, biting a chunk off of a bar of what I assume is chocolate. A huge TV sits on the main wall, dwarfing them both; speakers are imbedded in the walls on either side. Any windows are covered by black curtains, blocking out all ambient light. It's so dark except for the game that I can't tell what color the carpet is. Bookshelves line any free space on the walls, filled with games for multiple systems. I see a door on the wall to my left and, according to my mental map of the house, would exit to the main hallway, directly across from the library.

"Wow" comes, unbidden, out of my mouth.

Mello whips around, blonde halo flying. It unnerves me that I can't see his expression in the dark, but I try not to let it get to me. I'm ready to get past yesterday's argument if he is. Matt doesn't turn around, but calls back to me, "Impressive, huh? You got games where you come from?" I snicker.

Mello's jaw drops, Matt even pauses his game to look over his bean-bag chair at me. I realize that I've never shown any form of cockiness or confidence in my time here, so it must come as a surprise. Taking advantage of this, I place my hands on my hips and smirk, "A few."

Matt bends down, head disappearing for a moment. His head pops back up like a groundhog; he turns slightly to hand me a thin rectangular box. His goggles reflect the screen, "How about this one?"

Curious, I approach and take the box. Using the light of the TV, I read the cover. I burst out laughing. Mello jumps a foot in the air in surprise, dropping his chocolate in his lap, "What is wrong with you?!"

I wipe a tear from my eye, tearing my gaze away from the bold letters of the word HALO on the cover of the box, _Oh Matt, you picked the _wrong_ game!_ "I'm sorry, Mello. Yeah, Matt, we have this game. I'm not very good, but I played it a few times."

Something comes flying at my head. Although I'm surprised, I manage to catch the controller that Matt has tossed behind him. "Take a seat! No one else here will play with me."

Holding a hand to my heart, I make a hurt expression. "Aw, Matt, well if that's the case, I'll play!" I sit on the floor next to him, opposite Mello, who watches me with a suspicious gaze.

He leans forward to switch out the discs, "I'll go easy on you." He doesn't see me choke back another incredulous laugh from behind him, but Mello does. I catch his eye, winking. He looks surprised, but then… smiles. It's almost like a silent message: 'Kick his ass!' I nod, smiling back, before turning back to the TV.

An hour later, and Mello is actually crying with silent laughter at Matt's face. The gloves have, literally, come off; the orange goggles now rest on his forehead. Matt is now hunched over, gritting his teeth in concentration, hands working furiously at the controls. I sit with my legs locked in their usual position, my fingers click the buttons calmly; cool as a cucumber. The versus games are so brutal it seems cruel. As a person, Matt is a calculating, calm individual, but that all goes out the window when he plays games. He still concocts plans which makes it tricky to beat him, but once you figure it out, he plays in a similar way to my brother: he's too reckless.

After I blow him up yet again with a plasma grenade, I stand up. Matt is still staring at the screen, stunned, "Only played it 'a few times', huh?"

I grin down at him, catching Mello's eye before he finally bursts out laughing. Matt shoots the only glare I've ever seen from him at his laughing friend. "I wasn't lying about that part! My brother occasionally dragged me to play it with him, so I learned a thing or two!"

Matt's green eyes blaze at me, "Rematch!"

Instead, I step forward and turn off the TV, plunging the room into darkness except for the light from the main hall. Matt pulls his gloves on again as I smile and say, "Nope! We're going to go to the mysterious place we call the 'out of doors'!" The boys groan simultaneously. "Hey! I'm going to teach you all a game, it's called Pickle." Feeling a surprising sense of boldness, I reach down, grabbing the boys' gloved hands. I yank them to their feet and drag them to the main hall.

We all squint as we emerge into the bright light of the Main Hall. Mello jerks his hand back, "Hey! We don't have time for games!"

I turn back to him, raising an eyebrow, "Yes, I had forgotten there are 'important things to do', as you said yesterday. Does that include watching Matt play video games for hours?" Mello turns a bit pink, attempting to stutter an answer. "Ok then, while you work on that…" I grab his hand again and walk towards the Dining Room, dragging an amused Matt and a flustered Mello behind me.

I stride into the dining room, still clutching of the boys hands. Axel stops in the middle of his ever-continuing rock-paper-scissors war and looks up at us. As I'm certain that he doesn't own any pair of shorts that aren't grass-stained, his appearance is only different with the green camouflage shirt that he wears today. A grin splits his face and he bounds over to me, curly red hair becoming even more tangled, "Hey M! Whatcha doin?"

I look up slightly at the ever-hyper boy, "You up for a new game? It involves fleeing for your life, a ball, and chasing down prey with a teammate." I see Mello and Matt glance at each other out of the corner of my eyes, exchanging a silent 'Who is this girl?'. At the moment even I don't know._ I'm not sure why I'm already so comfortable with the elusive children at Wammy's, but it's causing me to come out of my anxiety-riddled shell that I had been trapped in for so long. I can finally breathe, smile, and move; I like it!_

A sparkle gleams in his eye at the challenge, "HELLS YES!" He then turns, addressing the few children in the dining room, "HEY! Get outside to play a new game!" A few kids grumble incoherently. Axel crosses his arms, somehow managing to look down on them all, "Unless you're too scared you'll be humiliated by me!" He turns to the side with a confident grin, nose in the air. Just like that, I see a fire ignite in the eyes of the younger kids. They smirk at each other, clearly eager to take a turn at beating the cocky older boy.

A solid group of 5 boys and girls lined up at the entrance to the kitchen. Axel marches towards the door, military fashion, "Okay, guys, you all know the drill! One… Two… THREE!" He roars the last number, kicking the door open. It bangs against the wall as the children charge through, shrieking the contagious battle-cry. I can hear the poor cook stuttering furiously, only managing to get "AXEL!" out coherently.

My eyes are as round as dinner plates, but I finally lose my composure. I start laughing so hard that Mello and Matt exchange scared looks. Matt sighs, raising a red and black striped arm to run a hand through his brown locks, "What the hell did you get us into?"

I grin wickedly, "Something fun!" I yank them both into the kitchen without warning. It turns out that only 2 of us are prepared for the now irate cook. Matt and I manage to dodge the wooden spoon, but Mello is smacked right on the nose as we run into the main hallway.

We almost collide into a very confused Near standing in the doorway of the playroom. Gray eyes look up at me curiously, "What's going on?" I can see Shayna behind him, still rocking the overalls; she waves at me.

The smile isn't coming off of my face, "Oh good!" I release Matt, knowing that he's the least likely to run, and grab Near's wrist. "We're going to go play a new game!" I pause for dramatic effect before pointing Mello's hand down the hallway: "Outside!"

Near looks back at the overwhelmed Mello being dragged by the ridiculously excited monkey-girl… and laughs. Yes, Near laughs! I freeze, drinking it in. _He sounds so much younger, so much freer._ He finishes laughing and smiles a small smile up at me, "Alright, let's see how this goes!"

Axel leans out of a door down the hallway, the only one I hadn't gone through, "COME ON!"

We walk into the room and it takes my breath away. A beautiful grand piano sits in the corner on a fine wooden floor. All of the walls that aren't windows are mirrors, bars placed at waist-height. Soft music drifts through the air, creating an even nicer atmosphere. A smaller version of the chandelier from the dining room shed a gentler light on the room; sunlight streams in the windows as well. The two windows in the center of the room are doors that open out onto the back deck. I can already see the children we commandeered for the game tossing around a dodgeball.

A few children are practicing different dance routines, ribbons flying in the hands of some. Lady pauses midway through a pirouette, "Axel kicked down the door and sprinted through here, followed by a bunch of the kids. What are you all up to?"

Knowing that Mello won't tolerate being dragged around for much longer, I continue walking to the porch doors. I call over my shoulder, "You'll just have to find out, won't you?" We step out into the huge lawn of Wammy's House.

I inhale deeply, savoring the fresh air. A gentle breeze makes the sunny day pleasantly cool, the leafs dancing on the trees. Glancing back, I see that Matt's grimacing on the porch. Behind him, a curious crowd of dancers watches the scene. I release Near and Mello, placing my hands on my hips, "Come on, now! I played your game, it's time to play mine!" Matt mumbles something about blackmail before he follows us out. I can almost swear I hear him hiss as the sunlight makes direct contact with his skin.

I'm suddenly blind-sided by Axel as he barrels into me, forcing my hands to release Mello and Near. Mello's hand darts out and wraps around my wrist before I can fall over. Unaware of the trouble he just caused, Axel bounces on the balls of his feet, "We have the ball! Do we need anything else?"

The earth sways beneath me, but I smile, "We need something to make 2 bases that are about 10-15 feet from each other. They need to be big enough so that half of the group can stand on each of them comfortably."

Axel pauses for a moment, thinking of what to use, before giving a smirk that makes me feel almost sorry I asked and darts off towards the back of the lawn. Almost falling into the fountain, he careens around it and into the trees, out of sight. Mello steadies me as I straighten up before releasing my wrist. I smile up at him, "Thanks, Mello!" He looks even more stunned than before; he crosses his arms and looks away, muttering something.

Axel bursts out of the trees, carrying what looks like a white can. Crowing at his success, he runs over to where some of the children are waiting, in the shade of the same oak I had fallen from. He begins to, I crane my neck and narrow my gaze… spray paint a white square into the grass! CRAP! "AXEL!" I shriek down at him, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Undeterred, he continues to work on his square, his tongue sticking out in concentration, "What Watari and Roger don't know won't hurt them!" Despite his concentration, he allows the paint to cross his left hand that is planted on the ground, leaving a white stripe.

Delicate footsteps come up behind me. Near winces as Lady shouts past him, "HOW THE HELL WON'T THEY SEE IT, IT'S A WHITE SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GREEN LAWN!" She grumbles as she storms down the stairs and across the lawn to give Axel a piece of her mind.

A voice speaks up behind me, "The grass will grow back. Why are the squares necessary?"

I shriek and leap a foot into the air. I land with a hand on my heart, whipping around to find the source. L is standing outside, yes, outside! His hands rest in his jean pockets, still barefoot. The sunlight shines on his black hair; his gray eyes seem brighter, _I assume because he finally slept._ Even his successors look flabbergasted at his sudden appearance. I realize I'm gaping like a fish, so I snap my mouth shut.

Something on his legs move and I see that a small boy is clutching his jeans. Even without acknowledging the child, I know L isn't ignoring the child. It seems they're both more comfortable with a companionable silence. The image is so adorable I can't help but smile. The face looks like it belongs to a child of about four years of age. Short black hair falls in his black eyes, his face distinctly oriental. _He's adorable._

I crouch down in a similar pose to L's sitting position and address the small boy, simultaneously answering L's question, "Do you want to play with us? I'm about to teach everyone a new game!"

There's a small pause, but I wait patiently. The boy looks nervously at the boys. Glancing up at them, I look back at the boy and stage-whisper behind my hand, "I know Mello looks really mean, but he's nicer than he seems!"

"Excuse me?!" Mello screeches indignantly.

I continue to smile at the young boy, "See?"

The boy slowly but steadily looks around L's legs before approaching me. He stops just in front of me and clutches the hem of his red shirt; a cheerful robin decorates the front. He doesn't say anything, but simply stares into my eyes. I feel like he's reading every thought, knows everything about me… but I don't mind.

Matt bends over, placing his hands on his knees, "What is it, Damien?"

The boy I now know as 'Damien' reaches out and gently places his hand on my cheek. I see everyone around me stiffen, but I don't remove my gaze from his. He says in a quiet, musical voice, "You're sad, so very sad." It isn't a question.

I'm unnerved, but refuse to show it, chuckling instead. L raises a thumb to his lips, watching the interaction with interest. "Why do you say so, dear?" A small tear rolls down his face. I'm shocked and words come tumbling out in a rush: "I'm so sorry! What's wrong, are you alright?"

Damien sniffs and looks down at my bandaged arms, "You're hurting, your eyes say so. It's not the kind of hurt that a band-aid can fix, is it?"

I can't bring myself to lie to him. My face goes serious, but not angry, "No, it can't. There are some things that only time and the proper friends can fix." I reach forward and gently wipe away his tears.

Damien meets my eyes, an expression far too sad to grace a four-year-old child's face upon it, "But you're not letting anyone help you, why?"

By now, I've almost forgotten that I'm surrounded by the world's greatest detective and his successors. All that exists is this small, shy, intelligent child looking for answers. I take both of his tiny hands in mine, "I couldn't live with myself if I allowed anyone I called 'friend' to be burdened with them."

The conversation is interrupted by Axel bounding up to us, "WE'RE READY TO PLAAAAAY!"

Damien, startled, leaps forward into my arms. Placing a hand on his head, I turn around to reprimand Axel, "Hey now, I'm coming, you don't have to be so loud!"

Axel rubs his now-white hand through his fiery-red curls, "Oops! Well come on!"

Sighing, but smiling at his enthusiasm, I stand up. I reach my hand down which Damien immediately grabs. I turn towards the boys, "We best go play before Axel decides to paint the rest of the yard!" I pause when I see all of them staring at me in shock. L's mouth is open slightly, his thumb hovering over it. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I look at the ground, "What?!"

Matt leaps into action, thank God, "Well… Damien doesn't stick to ANYONE except Lady, Watari, and L. We've all been living with him since he was a baby, but he's still shy of everyone. His skills are predominantly in spotting deception and in reading people's personalities. That means-"

L interrupts him, studying me with renewed interest, "It means that you have a rare quality of kindness and experience that he's drawn to. He's just as concerned for you, if not more so, than you are for him."

Feeling a bit too analyzed, I smile uneasily, "I think you all have been using your brains a bit too much! Come on, let's go play!" I hurriedly grab the back of Mello's leather vest, dragging him along, spluttering, with Damien and I as we walk down the lawn. I don't need to look behind me to know that Near and Matt following us.

I approach the crowd of children, feeling my back burn with L's gaze.


	10. Chapter 10 - Evil Plans & Bloody Secrets

**Author's Note: **I've realized that I'm cranking these out so fast that I'm not putting in nearly enough detail. My writing's starting to get sloppy and that's not fair to you all. Therefore, I'm probably going to start posting every couple days (especially for complicated chapters). I'll try to post as frequently as possible, my apologies! Anyway, prepare for a LOT of feels in this chapter. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 10**** \- Evil Plans &amp; Bloody Secrets**

I skirt around the edge of the simple white swan fountain, releasing Mello before he can fall in. He rounds on me, blonde hair flying in his face, "STOP DOING THAT!"

I look back at the porch; I thought L would go back inside, but no. I had apparently interested him too much because he's sitting (well, crouching) on a deck chair under the porch, analyzing all of us. _Well, if nothing else, he gets a break from constantly working._ As soon as that thought reaches my mind, I find I could care less that he watches, happy even.

We all come to a stop. Near, Matt, and Mello join the other kids in the shade of the oak tree. I stand on the slight rise above the main lawn, just in front of the fountain. "Alright, who wants to play?" There's a deafening roar from the 15 or so kids on the lawn. I notice that more than the original children are present, meaning they had heard about the game and come out. I smile, slightly impressed that word had traveled so quickly. Damien and I flinch at the volume. Geez, these kids are loud! "Axel, ball?" Smirking, he tosses the red dodgeball to me.

I have the attention of everyone, and I do mean everyone; I've never been one for leadership. I shift uncomfortably before shaking myself, _Come on, M! You're friends with quite a few of these kids! _Axel nods up at me, ball-and-chain earring swinging. Lady, looking elegant as ever in her leotard, ballerina bun, and now bare feet, smiles gently. Shayna, bright blue eyes sparkling with excited curiosity, hops from foot to foot. Near twirls his hair, watching me from the corner of his eye. Matt grins cockily, awaiting the rules. Mello has crossed his arms and is looking off into the distance, but I see his eyes dart to me occasionally. Damien peeks up from behind my skirt at me with a kind of soft admiration. I smile as I continue my thought, _If the rest of them are their friends, how terrible could they possibly be?_

Feeling a new sense of confidence, I pull my ponytail tighter. Since most of these kids are younger than 13, I'm going to have to explain this in simple terms. I ask everyone, "Ok, have you all played monkey in the middle?" There are some murmurs of 'yes' or nodding from everyone. "Ok, this is basically the same thing except reversed! Two people are 'it', a team that's going to try to tag you with this ball." I hold the ball up before pointing at the newly painted squares. "Those squares are the only places you're safe! Whenever you think you can make it to the other base without getting tagged, you run as fast as you can to the opposite square. The two teammates will be tossing the ball back and forth, trying to work together to tag you with the ball." I glare pointedly at Mello, "However, this ISN'T dodgeball. You can't throw the ball at anyone!"

Mello's jaw drops, "What kind of a rule is that?" All of the kids giggle at him, turning away quickly as his head whips around to them.

I look down at him with a pitying face, "What's wrong, Mello, can't handle it? This rule makes it more difficult to tag people!" Mello's mouth snaps shut, eyes burning with the challenge.

I smirk before continuing, "If you're tagged by a member of the team, you switch out with that person. Anything else that comes up can be dealt with when it occurs. Simple enough?" Including the successors, around 20 heads nod at me.

I see a few uneasy looks cross a few faces who are now looking to the space at my right. Confused at this, I turn to see what's frightened them. I almost fall into the fountain as L nearly scares the stuffing out of me. His left hand shoots out and catches my back, saving me from a very wet landing. The children burst into laughter at my near-disastrous fall. I smile, glad that the tension at L leaves them. I turn to him, "Want to play, L?"

Everyone waits with curious expressions. _I doubt that L's ever played a game here, let alone watch one._ He smiles at the children before his gray-eyes meet mine, a glint of amusement in them, "No thank you, I think I'll just watch." I nod at him, and look back at the kids to find them all smiling now. Even Damien seems to be at ease.

I look down at him and ask gently, "Do you want to play or watch with L?"

Damien looks up at me, uneasy with all of the eyes on me; I nod in understanding. I take his hand and transfer him to L. I feel my heart melt as I see L smile gently at Damien as he clutches L's jeans. Damien smiles back. Shaking myself, I turn my attention back to the situation at hand.

I raise the ball again, "Alright, who wants to be it?" The lawn is full of children bouncing up and down with different levels of vigor. I stare with mock concentration at the crowd… and spot opportunity to stir up trouble. I look at L who meets my gaze; I smile evilly. His eyes widen in surprise. I turn back to the crowd and call out, "Axel!"

"YES!" He crows, storming to the front of the group. He bounces excitedly up and down, looking to me for the assignment of his partner.

With a devious glint in my eyes, I point dramatically at my chosen one: "MELLO!"

The piece of chocolate he had just bit off falls to the ground, "WHAT?!"

Axel loops his arm around Mello's, undeterred. He lets out a whoops and hollers into his reluctant teammates ear, "YES!" I swear I can see Mello's hair blowing in the wind from Axel's cheering.

Everyone bursts into laughter, I even hear a quiet chuckle behind me. I turn back to the source to see L quietly laughing at the plight of his most temperamental successor. _First sleeping, now laughing? This is L, right?_ I realize that the bigger deal I make at him doing normal things, the less he'll do them. I simply smile at him; _I want to hear him laugh more_. Matt and Near also look like they're having a far better time than they've had in ages. Matt is laughing hardest of all at Mello's distress; Near is laughing quietly, curling his hair gently.

Beyond ready to get this party started, I direct everyone else, "Alright! Everyone get on one of the two bases! Oh, and NO SHOVING PEOPLE OFF THE BASE!" The kids scatter, splitting into two groups. Ignoring Mello's spluttered denial, Axel drags him off to stand in front of a base before sprinting in front of the other.

I decide that I'm probably not Mello's favorite person at the moment, so I choose to stand on Axel's base. After safely landing on the base with Near and about 8 other kids, I toss the ball to Axel, "BEGIN!"

It's chaos.

Axel crows and drives the ball at Mello. Snapping out of his daze, he manages to catch it before his face can be imprinted with the ball's texture. Kids immediately sprint to the opposite base; Near and I decide that running toward an infuriated Mello isn't the best idea. Mello ignores the kids running around him, only having eyes for Axel, "HEY!"

Axel whips his head from side to side, watching the kids run past him, "You're letting them all get away! Pass it back, pass it back!" Seeing how wild this game is about to become, I'm suddenly very glad I'm wearing pants and not a skirt.

Mello's blue eyes blaze from beneath his bangs, "YOU WANT IT?! TAKE IT!" He drills the ball at poor, naive Axel. The ball comes zooming towards us; in a flash of panic, I dive to the ground, taking Near with me. The missile slams into Axel's forehead before bouncing off into the distance.

I spit some grass out of my mouth and raise a battle cry from the ground: "RUN!" Children sprint everywhere; they occasionally knock into each other, but they're all laughing. Lady and Shayna nearly collide but manage to evade each other, giggling all the while. I help Near up and we start towards the other base. Axel takes off towards the ball, desperate to catch up to it before it bounces too far. Knowing it'll piss of Mello, I smirk and simply stroll to the other base, no hurry in my step. Mello grinds his teeth and looks about ready to strangle me.

Near has made it to the base already and I try to follow, only to find Mello in my way, "You!" I swear I see smoke coming from his ears, "You started this!"

I smile up at him, "Yes I did! Isn't it fun?"

"F-fun?!" He splutters, "This is ridiculous, it's a waste of time and-"

But I, however, had heard Axel approaching with the retrieved ball. I cut him off, "Mello?" He's so furious and stunned at being interrupted, that he stops, "Sorry!" I duck. The ball shoots over my head and drills into Mello's face.

There's a tense silence as the ball rolls a few feet. I look up at Mello's now red face, feeling a twinge of unease. It's broken by the deep voice watching on the sidelines, "M?" I turn to look at L. He's smiling, but warns me, "I think it's best if you run."

I dart towards Axel, desperate to make it to safety. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" I feel the ball go whirling past my ear, almost taking it off. Axel catches the ball, grinning wickedly at me as I screech to a halt. I'm trapped between the two evils that I created. I back away from him as he takes a swipe at me with the ball. The kids look on, shouting words of encouragement. L looks on in amusement, a gentle hand on Damien's head.

Unfortunately for the boys, I have had far more experience with this game than than either of them. Knowing that Mello has reaction time far too quick for me to get past, I half turn towards him in a fake. Axel falls for it. He pelts the ball at Mello while I spin on a dime and sprint back to Axel's base. The kids make room as I charge onto the base. Cheering erupts, but Mello now has it out for me.

For the next hour, kids are sprinting back and forth; some trying to stroll as easily as I do, but typically panicking and running the rest of the way. Because of my quieter approach, I'm not sweating nearly as much as the overenthusiastic younger children. Shayna gets tagged by Axel, allowing him to run. Although Mello doesn't yell at the younger kids he's paired with, he's quickly getting more frustrated. Matt only throws more fuel onto the fire, slipping in a teasing comment here and there. Near bows out after a while, going to stand with L and Damien.

Everyone's having a good time, even the furious leather-clad blonde. Mello's competitive spirit may have stopped him from quitting before, but he would've walked off long ago if he was truly miserable. I had even offered to swap with him, but he declined, muttering something about not taking charity from anyone.

Although almost every kid has gotten a turn at throwing, Axel's so reckless that he and Mello are the most common pair. Finally, after a particularly fierce attempt and fail on Mello's part, kids collapse on their backs laughing, exhausted. I laugh with them, having such a good time I don't notice that the wraps on my arms have begun to come loose…

While we play, L has retrieved a cake for himself. _I'm surprised that he's stayed for this long; I thought he never left his work for very long._ Near has pulled an action figure from his pocket and plays with it, looking up occasionally.

As everyone catches their breath, I look at Damien. He's looking curiously up at the cake on L's plate. Following my gaze, L meets Damien's eyes, who looks away shyly. L smiles gently, plucks the strawberry off the top, and hands it to the small child. I swear I could faint from the adorableness of it all.

To everyone's dismay, the game is pulled to a halt by the lunch bell. Some kids miraculously gather enough energy to sprint to the Dining Room; others struggle to their feet, smiles still on their faces. Lady walks up to L, takes Damien's hand, and walks him up to the house.

I feel a sense of accomplishment at getting everyone into an activity together. I lay back down on the grass, staring up through the oak leafs. I hope we can do that more often! Even L got a break from his constant work.

"Hellooooo?" A gloved hand waves in front of my face, orange goggles blocking out the sunlight.

I smile up at them, "Hi, Matt!"

I sit up, seeing that L, Mello, and Near are waiting for me (poor Mello looks exhausted). Straightening my red sleeveless shirt, I get to my feet. A strong breeze blows past all of us.

Everything had been going so well.

My bandages whip off my arms.

Matt takes a step back. Mello stiffens, mouth open slightly. Near drops his action figure, eyes widening. L's hands fall out of his pockets, endless eyes staring.

I quickly back into the oak tree. I kneel down on the grass, bending over my arms, desperate to hide them. I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth. _I will not pass out! I WILL NOT!_ I hear footsteps approach, I don't want to deal with this! I shoot to my feet and turn to run- WHAM! A gloved hand slams into the tree next to my head, shaking the branches above us. Mello's face is quiet and serious, "You're not running away from this… Not this time."

I refuse to meet his eyes; I turn to go the other way. The next hand doesn't make the tree shake like Mello's, but it's firm and decisive. Matt speaks, "For once, Mello's right."

I hear 2 pairs of bare footsteps approach through the grass. I just can't look at any of them. _You're weak! You know that you are, and now, so do they!_ With nowhere to go, sink back down to the grassy carpet. It's silent as the raven-haired man crouches down in front of me, "Let me see."

My arms tighten around each other; I pull my legs tighter to myself, "No."

I feel the light touch as he reaches forward and wipes a small tear from my cheek. I stiffen; I hadn't realized I had cried at all. I look up into his eyes, but there's none of the pity that I had feared. I only see the will to understand, this time not for the sake of gathering information, but because he genuinely cares. I've got to be wrong, _L couldn't… care for me, could he?_ I feel a flower of hope bloom at the possibility. A lightbulb bursts to life in the back of my mind- before shattering on overload at the realization: I'm in love with L.

I'm uncertain, teetering on the edge of my decision.

I feel a small hand on top of my head. I look up at Near, "Remember what I told you before, M? I think now's the time, at least a little bit."

I sigh and nod. I get slowly to my feet before turning to Mello, "You're right Mello, I can't run any longer." He nods at me, approving. I step away from them into the sunlight. Drawing in a deep breath and, plucking up my courage, I turn around.

I outstretch my arms. Slices of varying length crisscross in no particular rhyme or reason. I rotate my arms slowly. The slices spiderweb up and down my arms. Most of them are a darker, feathery shade of my skin tone: clearly old scars. Others were white, standing off the skin; particularly deep. Some are an angry red. Recent. Very recent. Even words are carved in jagged, quick strokes. STUPID. BURN. UGLY… DIE.

I hear a whoosh escape everyone's lips. "My God," Mat mumbles.

Putting my mask back on, I smirk bitterly up at L, "What's your analysis, L?"

L steps forward, taking my right hand. I can't read anything from his expression, no shock, no smugness at being proved correct, nothing. He runs his fingers gently up and down the word 'DIE'. "You have serious PTSD, anxiety, and a history of anorexia that's almost certainly still be present. You have high defensive skills, react to loud noises, and stare into space. That's plenty of evidence for PTSD. You meet people's eyes with difficulty and don't like the spotlight. That takes care of the anxiety. You don't eat and are approximately 75 lbs. Anorexia." It was a shorter answer than I had been expecting. _I thought he was going to go on and on about how he deduced everything, but no… He sounds almost sad to say any of it. _

Knowing it's not the time to get caught up in teenage girl fanatics, I chuckle darkly, "Spot on as usual." I slowly trace the marks on my left arm; everyone is silent, waiting for me to continue. "I'm not going to tell you specifics. I'm not going to throw a pity party. I'll only say this: My life back where I came from wasn't easy, at home, school or otherwise. There's never been any real peace or stability in my life. The events that happened to me gave me anxiety that's so bad that, if I'm overwhelmed, I black out. It's caused my immune system to weaken considerably. My arms… well…"

Near gently prods me forward, "Whatever happened to you, it hurt too much, didn't it?"

I nod, turning towards the fountain. I watch the water gently arch out of the swan's mouth, curving backward, up, down, sliding between it's wings, rolling down in elegant groves to the pool below. An endless, never-ending pattern, almost as beautiful as numbers in my puzzles; everything has a place and a predictable rhythm…

"M?"

I'm jerk back down to earth, back to face the nightmare that I can never seem to escape. I sigh, reach up, and pull my hairband out of my hair. My curls fall gently down my back; they drift softly in the wind. Needing something to do with my fidgety hands, I begin to braid it, "It hurt so much that I- I stopped feeling. I stopped feeling happy, stopped crying, stopped getting angry. I had to or I would go insane. But then… I forgot how to feel. I wanted to feel something, anything… I-" I can't bring myself to look at them. I just stare into the water, "I started to lose my mind…" I pause, "I had to drop out of college, I couldn't get a job, I couldn't handle society. I was just trying to stay alive and sane when I ended up here."

I scuff my foot on the grass, gently brushing my toes on the blades. I turn back to them, laughing weakly. I can't meet their eyes, "Well we just had quite the game, you guys should probably eat lunch before you work on that case!"

They ignore my statement completely. Looking at them, I can tell that they're busy taking everything in. Matt seems to be struggling, "But… but you- you were so happy! You dragged the ENTIRE population of this orphanage to play a game that you had to lead! It doesn't make any sense!" Mello puts a hand on his arm as Matt moves to step forward, shaking his head.

I shrug, "I can't explain why I feel so at home here. I guess… I guess I don't feel like you all are strangers." L's eyes flicker with recognition at the point he and I had discussed in our private interrogation.

I can tell that they need a moment to absorb all of this, so I go looking for my bandages. Stepping into the shady trees, I look for the long white ribbons. _I wonder if they'll talk to me after this… Will they send me somewhere? Or will they just kick me out? Maybe it's better this way!_ I don't believe that, I truly don't. I finally find the bandages up against the base of a tree. Picking them up, I begin to re-wrap my arms. _Well if L liked me before, that's gone._ I stare at the gate a few yards away. _Maybe I should just leave. Maybe they'll let me this time…  
_  
Sighing to myself, resigned to my fate, I finish wrapping my arms and slowly walk to the fence. _L's been distracted with me since the beginning, he doesn't have time for it. His successors need to concentrate on being the next L. But I'll miss everyone… They're all such good kids! Sorry I couldn't say bye…_ I stare up at the top, once again grateful that I'm wearing pants. I reach out towards the fence-

A slender white hand catches mine.

Black hair tickles my face, "Where do you think you're going?"

I don't turn. I should have expected this; I know Mello, Matt, and Near have also come. I relax my arm, but he doesn't let go, "Guys… I don't belong here. You all have a lot of stuff to do and I'm just something else to worry about. You don't need this kind of drama, no one does." I smile weakly, "I'm alright, I'm fine! I don't belong here-"

L loosens his grip, allowing his hand to fall to mine. He squeezes it, "It seems like you're trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince us."

I don't know what to say.

"AUGH!"

I leap a foot in the air at the exclamation, whipping around so fast that my hair smacks me in the face. Even L's eyes are a bit wide at Mello's outburst, putting an around my shoulders. I feel the nerves along my shoulders tingle at his touch. I know he must not know much about physical contact, but it soothed me, pushing my heart rate back down. Being so close to him, I can smell the light scent of strawberries.

Mello, meanwhile, runs a furious hand through his hair. "You idiot! You're not a distraction!" His face goes scarlet. I listen, surprised, "Look, I know what I said before, but I didn't mean it! We're not obliged to do anything! You think Matt played games with you because he was obliged? You think Near's so concerned for you because he's obliged? You think I played that God-forsaken game because I felt obliged? You think L, the typically indifferent genius, watches you all the time because he feels obliged?"

Matt stepped forward, "What he's trying to say, M, is that you may have been here only a little while, but you clearly make a difference. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little shaken, but not for the reason you think. I'm not scared, I'm sad that such a kind person has had so much grief."

I can't help it, I roll my eyes. Mello storms forward, ready to give me a piece of his mind. The quietest, yet most commanding voice of all speaks, "Mello." He freezes. L turns to me. He's so close that our faces are only inches apart. I look up into the surprisingly kind dark eyes, hanging on his every word, "We didn't take you as our own personal charity case. As Mello said, we don't feel obligated, we _want_ to help you. You've been able to reach through to those children more than anyone ever has. You got them to laugh, to run, to enjoy themselves beyond their everyday work. If I'm not mistake, and I rarely am, I'm certain that you've made more than quite a few friends here. Do you really think that they won't worry about you if you leave?" I internally wince as he says 'you' and not 'we' or 'I'. _What is wrong with me? Get your head out of the clouds!_ He turns back towards the lawn, tugging me with him. "There's not much time left for lunch, it's about time we got back."

I follow him numbly, eyes wide. Near keeps pace next to me; Matt and Mello follow behind. As we emerge from the trees and approach the fountain, I finally stutter a few words, "I-I d-don't understand…"

A small hand lands on my back and pushes me gently forward. I look at the fluffy white head, only an inch shorter than I, "Don't you understand yet, M? We _are_ your friends."


	11. Chapter 11 - Miss Invisible

**Author's Note:** I didn't have much time today, but just for you all, I chunked together all my free time &amp; finished this entry! VERY emotional (&amp; kind of long) chapter here. I'll probably take a day after this to get the next chapter out. ***I don't own Death Note or the song 'Miss Invisible', only my OCs***

**Chapter 13**** \- Miss Invisible**

With the combined stress of the game and revealing my ugly scars, I'm now exhausted. L only releases me when we reach his room. The successors had split off from us in order to eat lunch; I declined, I don't think I can stomach anything at the moment.

L takes his seat, turning the monitors back on. I'm surprised to see that the same code is still on the screen. _They haven't been able to crack the code yet? That's unlike them…_

"M?"

I turn to the pale detective who continues quietly, "That conversation was a particularly difficult one. Despite that, I know you're still hiding a lot of secrets about yourself."

Feeling a rare twinge of annoyance, I respond, "You're one to talk. No one knows anything about you! The only thing I know is that you call yourself L, that you're incredibly intelligent, and that you solve crimes in the middle of an orphanage!" I finally reach the back of the couch, placing both hands along it. I continue to meet his slightly startled gaze, "With that being said, can you honestly tell me that I know everything there is to know about you?"

A moment of silence. L's toes rub against each other as he thinks, "Well… Now that I think about it, that really is almost everything about me. I'm about to respond when I see a hint of sadness on his face. _He's telling the truth._ Reevaluating my approach, I lean over the back of the chair and pick up the blanket. I begin to fold it, draping it over the back of the couch.

He breaks the silence, eyes hidden beneath his hair, "Either way, I want you to know that we _do_ care about you." I feel guilty for bringing up what was clearly an ugly memory, but I continue to listen. There's a delicate pause as he seems to- _no, there's no other words for it_\- struggle with what he's about to say. He seems to reach the end of his dilemma, inhaling deeply before saying "If you ever find that you can talk about your previous experiences, I want you to know that you can talk to me about it." As L's talking, his face turns a bright pink; when he finishes, he turns back in his chair, staring at the monitors intently.

My heart soars. All of a sudden, everything is worth it: the concussion, the fight with Mello, the revelation of my scars; all because I now have someone who cares and wants to hear what I have to say. I choke back tears, trying to keep my face as composed as possible.

Before I disappear behind the bedroom door, L speaks up one last time, "M?" I pause, "Thank you for the blanket." He lifts the remote to adjust the brightness settings on the TV. Smiling slightly, I continued into the bedroom, gently combing the braid out of my hair.

I wake up a few hours later, stretching out under the blanket. I resign myself to get up, _If I stay asleep for much longer, I won't sleep tonight!_ I turn over and spot a flash of color on the bed-side table next to my sudoku book. A peach. I smile at it, _Near_. I slowly sit up, one hand combing through my hair, the other assisting in the consumption of the peach.

I walk into the bathroom to grab a hairbrush. Looking in the mirror, I notice that my skin is a darker shade from the sun today. _That was probably the first time I've played outside in months._ As I begin to run the brush through the bird's nest that is my hair, I think over that day's events. I'm positively giddy that the boys accept my ugly story with such kindness. _Instead of being awkward or pitying, they cared enough to not let me leave. I've never had that kind of concern towards myself before._ My thoughts then drift to my siblings; I feel a pang in my gut. _I miss them…_

Refusing to lose myself to depression, I suddenly remember that I need to ask Watari about using their washer, _Wherever it is… _

Not wanting to haul my dirty, smelly laundry with me, I leave the black bag behind. I quietly step into the main room. All of the boys were staring at the same code with an almost tangible sense of increased desperation. The code now takes up all of the screens, clearly their top priority. Even L doesn't notice my presence in the room. He's leaning forward so far that I have to stop myself from darting forward to push him back onto the chair. His thumb's pressed firmly to his lips, grey eyes looking up through his black hair. His face is set to one of grim yet frustrated concentration. I shake my head, _Poor things, they're going to make themselves sick if they keep at it like this!_

Deciding that now is NOT the time to interrupt them, I silently tip-toe to the large hallway door. I slowly close the door, turning to face the Entrance Hall. Out of the tense atmosphere of L's room, I try to think of where I can find Watari. _The kids may still be in lessons, so I can't ask Axel or Lady. If I were Watari, where would I be?_ I walk down the stairs, feet sinking into the soft carpet. _Knowing him, he'll probably be in the Library. If not, it's still a good place to start! _With that plan in mind, I set off at a quicker pace.

Without Matt and Mello in the Game Room, I'm FAR from comfortable. Figures begin to appear out of the corners of my eyes, arms reaching forward- I dart forward, fumbling through the semi-darkness to throw open the door to the Main Hallway. I scramble through, unceremoniously slamming the door behind me. Leaning against it, I feel my heart rate slow. _Why do 'hallucinations' have to be included in anxiety?! _As I come to my senses, I begin to worry, _I hope I didn't just disturb anyone's lessons!_ Not wanting to be scolded, I move on.

I reach for the Library doorknob when- I remember the Music Room. _The grande piano was so beautiful, but I only got to see it for a moment. Maybe… maybe I can go in there again._ Distracted from my mission, I tentatively approach the adjacent door.

I almost knock when I realize that there's no sound coming from behind the door. I stand in the hallway, listening intently for any sound… but there's nothing. Fingers twitching to reach the smooth white keys, I open the door.

Inside, the beautiful colors of sunset flow in from the windows. The sun's just below the tree line, making the light pleasant instead of blinding. Due to the abundance of light, the chandelier overhead is off. The ribbons that were being used earlier are overflowing out of a wooden chest in the corner that I hadn't noticed before. The piano reflects the light, the white keys seeming to give off a deep orange glow. Sitting at the bench would give me a beautiful view of the back lawn.

I walk over to the piano, drawing out the bench. I exhale as I sit down, looking at the beautiful instrument. My mind races back to the days where I was taught piano, rhythm, and music since before I could even understand the concept of the sweet melodies. I smile to myself, trying to recall a few pieces. As one comes to mind, I place my hands to the keys.

Time seems to fly by as I play piece after piece, singing the lyrics with confidence. _Chances_ by Five for Fighting, _Heroes &amp; Thieves _as well as _A Thousand Miles_ by Vanessa Carlton, _I'll Try_ by Jonatha Brooke, _When The Darkness Comes_ by Colbie Caillat, and so on. I'm enjoying myself so thoroughly that I don't notice an intruder slip into the room, standing silently at the back; watching, ever watching.

As the last long note of the previous piece ends, I think of what I should play next. My hands move, hesitantly, before I can think about what I'm playing. I sing softly, oh so softly:

**_There's a girl who sits under the bleachers,_**

**_Just another day eating alone_**

**_And though she smiles there is something she's hiding_**

**_And she can't find a way to relate  
_**  
Unbidden, a scene flashes from the depths of my memories. A far younger, more naive me carries a tray, nervously approaching the table full of fellow children. I sit down in an empty seat; I look up with a shy smile. My spirit soars at my success! The kids all look at each other, faces ranging from confusion to disgust. Almost simultaneously, they stand and walk away, not saying a word. I feel my heart tear a bit; I sigh down at my food before nibbling on it a bit.

I continue singing, trying to work past the memory.

**_She just goes unnoticed as the crowd passes by  
And she'll pretend to be busy when inside she just wants to cry…_**

My next flashback darts back to an even younger me. I'm maybe 7, tugging on the sleeves of my family members at Christmas. I desperately try to tell them about what's happening at home and school. They shrug my clutching hand off their clothes, pinching my cheeks before going back to their conversations. "Please! I need help!" I shuffle to a stop… I drag my feet to a corner and crouch down, back against the wall. I would try again at every holiday to come, but only find the same hopelessness.

**_She'll say…_**

**_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible_**

**_Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes  
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible_**

**_Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day_**

**_When you'll ask her her name_**

I sing the lyrics with perfect pitch, only wavering when a flashback strikes my mind. My fingers dance across the keys, sailing over one of the only methods through which I can express my heart. The music grows stronger as I reach the next verse.

**_The beginning, in the first weeks of class she did everything to try and fit in_**

**_But the others, they couldn't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface_**

Middle school comes rushing back. They snicker, talking just low enough that the teacher can't hear (not that they would help anyway), "Don't bother coming back tomorrow." "Hey, did you get fatter?" "Gonna cry? Gonna cry?" I stare at my desk, working hard to be dead to the feelings tumbling inside of me.

**_And she would close her eyes when they left and she fell down the stairs_**

I walk quickly out of a particularly difficult class where I had been reprimanded by the teacher for the mess on my desk which had been put there by others. I'm at the top of the stairs, about to descend, when hands push my back. I go tumbling down, binder knocking the wind out of me. I land with a heavy thud on the ground, curling up into a ball. There's no 'Are you ok?', only 'Watch it!' and… laughter. Laughter so unpleasant and loud that I'm sure I'll never get it out of my head. I let my hair fall into my face, attempting to hide myself from everyone. I scoot out of the way and slowly pick up my belongings, feeling exactly where the bruises will form.

My voice hitches as I reach this part of the song, barely containing an open sob. I can't stop playing, I'm just unable to.

**_And the more that they joked and the more that they screamed_**

**_She retreated to where she is now_**

**_And she'll sing…_**

I come home, face sliced open from a pencil someone had swung across my face. My parents don't notice.

**_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible_**

**_Look a little harder; I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes, shoes, yeah yeah oh_**

A boy takes his binder and swings it at me. I duck, just in time. It strikes the locker, denting it. The binder falls on me, so I open it to see what could have done that. It's full of textbooks. The boy snatches it from me, laughing with his friends.

**_Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible_**

**_Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you'll ask her-_**

I choke. My fingers clench; I feel something wet on them. I look down. I shocked to see that I've been crying on the keys. I hurriedly wipe the tears from my eyes and begin to use the hem of my red shirt to blotch up the water. I begin to repeat, "It's okay, it's okay," over and over like a mantra.

"No. It's not."

I freeze. No. _He didn't hear me. Not him; _**_anyone_**_ but him._ But of course, when I turn to look behind me, there stands L. The sun is almost gone, bathing him in a harsh red light. He gazes down at me, an unreadable expression donning his face. His hands rest casually in his pockets, but I can't help but shake the feeling that if I touched him, he would be as stiff as a board.

I don't know what to say. I can't deny anything about what just happened. I hunch forward, allowing my hair to fall over my wide eyes, "How long have you been here."

I hear the rustling of fabric as he moves to crouch on the bench next to me, "Since the song about Heroes &amp; Thieves. This room is directly under mine." I want to smack myself in the head for my stupidity. "You have a beautiful voice and a lot of skill."

I draw my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, "Not really." My knee-jerk reaction kicks in, attempting to cover up any feelings that may have leaked out. I smile at him, only turning my head a bit, "I'm nothing compared to the kids here."

There's a silence. It seems that neither of us know quite what to say. I'm wrong.

"So you were bullied in school." He's looking at me, gentle eyes looking into mine.

I look away, "Well I suppose you've figured out one of the things that happened to me. Yeah. It was pretty bad."

He nods. "I'd like to know, what were your flashbacks?"

I whip around to look at him, my hair flying, "How did you know I was having flashbacks?"

He turns back towards the piano. Lifting a single finger, he brings it down upon the A key, "The music would pause ever so often and you would get that distant look in your eyes. Your breath would hitch, and that last time, you began to cry. So," His eyes whip back to mine, catching me in a gaze that I can't escape from. I see… sadness… in them. There's no spark of curiosity, only despair, "Will you tell me?"

I stiffen and think through his request. _He's not here to gather information. He left what was clearly an important case to come check on me._Staring into his eyes, I know he won't push me if I decline. _As harsh as he seemed in the anime, this is the real thing. He's a human being concerned about another._ _I feel, no… I know I can trust him. He deserves a bit back for his friendship._ I take a deep breath.

I go through the flashbacks. The isolation at the lunch table, the lack of help from my family, the children's insults, being pushed down stairs, my face being sliced, my family ignoring my injuries, the attempts on my life, etc. Halfway through my story, the sun is completely gone. The door to the main hallway is cracked slightly so some light comes bleeding through, bouncing off the windows and mirrors. I notice none of it; I'm too wrapped up in talking to the silent, strange man next to me.

I laugh bitterly at the conclusion of my story, "Middle school wasn't exactly the best time of my life." I stand and wander over to the window. From the light across the ground, I can tell that the moon has begun to rise. "It's alright though."

I hear a BANG behind me; I leap into the air, back against the window. It's L; he stands with his fists clenched. I can't see his eyes, his midnight hair even darker in the shadowy room. My eyes widen: he's shaking. Gathering my courage, I walk up to him. Standing in front of his tall frame, I look up. Still unable to see his eyes and not thinking about my actions, I brush his hair back, "What's wrong?"

He steps away from me, his bare feet almost uncertain. I slowly lower my hands, a bit stung. His voice shakes a bit, "How can you be so calm about those things? How can you say you're okay?"

I sigh, knowing this question all too well. I take a step towards him, desperate to calm him down, "Because it is, it has to be. I can't live in the past, so I just stay silent. No one was going to help me, so I had to just deal with it. It's not happening anymore, and I now have friends like you!"

L shakes his head, black hair flying, "But-but how can you stand that there was no _justice_ done?"

I pause, _oooooh_… I had forgotten about his obsession with justice. I walk forward and hug his tense form, clenched fists and all, "Hun, it's wonderful that you care, truly. But those people changed when they got older, they became better people. So long as I know that another won't become a victim of their actions, I've forgiven them. Those weren't even the worst of my memories. Hell, I used to step in front of those being abused and take it for them. I would do it in a heartbeat for any of you; I won't hesitate if I need to."

The seemingly impossible happens.

He looks down at me, gray eyes flashing with something I can't comprehend. My eyes widen as strong arms wrap around me; L clutches me to him desperately, as if he can shield me from everything. We stand there for a moment before he says in barely over a whisper, "You won't have to. Not again. Not ever."

I haven't been hugged in so long that we stand there for God knows how long. I then remember that he has things to get back to. I look back up at him. "L, if I'm not mistaken, you've escaped working for over an hour now," I tease.

L's eyes widen down at me. He looks out the window before raising his thumb to his lips, "Oh, I suppose you're right. I didn't notice…" I laugh; he looks down at me in shock, mouth slightly open.

Ignoring him, I take his other hand and pull him to the door, "Come on!"

He says in an almost confused voice, "What were you doing out here anyway? If I'm not mistaken, you weren't supposed to go anywhere without an escort…" I turn back to him to see a- a snicker on his lips. I'm suddenly overcome with the need to kiss those same lips. Choking down a wave of shock at myself, I memorize the expression for memory.

Trying my best not to stutter or turn red I say, "O-oh! I'm sorry! I was looking for Watari to ask if I could use the washer!"

We continue down the hall, back from where I had come. He smiles good-naturedly as I tug him down the hall, "Well then, this entire venture was in futility. One of the maids has already taken care of that. The clothes in the bag are already clean." I stop, turn to the nearest wall, and take a moment to bang my head on it. Not looking to see L's stunned expression, I tug him on.

When we reach the game room, however, the darkness is a bit too much for me to handle. The shadow figures are in full form, reaching out, black fingers grabbing at the air around me. I squeak and grab L's arm. L looks down at me curiously before following my darting gaze. He then nods to himself, though I'm not sure why. He takes the lead and gently walks us into the Main Entryway.

Realizing that I'm clutching L's arm like a lifeline, I release him. "Sorry!" I squeak.

He walks up to the door to his room, "It's alright." Opening the door for me we enter.

The poor successors are exhausted. Mello's dozing off mid-bite of his chocolate, which drops out of his mouth as the closing door startles him. Matt hangs upside-down on the couch, trying to get a different angle, I suppose. Near lays on the floor throwing a die up in the air and catching it, over and over. They seem to brighten a little when L enters, but not much; they're simply too tired. They all murmur different variants of 'Hello' to me.

L takes one look around the room, sighs, runs a hand through his hair, and makes a decision. "Everyone to bed." The successors look up, stunned.

Mello splutters, "Bu-but the case-"

L cuts him off, "None of you slept more than 3 hours last night. We've all had a long day and nothing is going to get done at this point. Go to bed, now."

Matt and Mello grumble as they approach the doors. Matt claps me on the shoulder with a exhausted grin as he passes me. Mello simply nods, eyes half closed before departing. Near decides it would be better to leave his dice towers until later and strides into the Main Entryway. He smiles up at me before he closes the door. L has already crouched in his chair and picked up a piece of chocolate cake when I turn back.

I'm about to head to the bedroom when I make a split decision. _You know what, L helped me in his own way, so I'll return the favor._ I walk forward, collapsing onto the couch. L looks up at me, confused, "I thought I said to go to bed." I know he's teasing, so I smile at him. I swear I see blush on his cheeks, but I dismiss it. No one would like me, much less L.

"Well, you don't have your successors here, so I'm not gonna leave you here alone by yourself! I'll just have to fall asleep here!"

His eyes narrow and he waves the fork threateningly at me, "I can always move you."

I grin wickedly at him, "But you won't." Caught unawares, he doesn't have a response. I quickly put my head down and snore loudly. I hear a soft chuckle before we relapse into a companionable silence.


	12. Chapter 12 - Sudoku to Criminal Codes

**Author's Note: **Shorter chapter this time, but interesting! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 12 - Sudoku to Criminal Codes**

A week passes by at Wammy's House and I only feel more and more comfortable. Events consist of joining everyone at breakfast (where Near makes me eat something small), playing with the children (Pickle has become the most popular game although L doesn't join us like the first time), drawing with Shayna, crushing Matt at video games, declining Axel's rock-paper-scissors challenges, etc.

During their lessons, I spend my time in the Library. There never seems to be anyone there, except for the occasional appearance of Watari who remains politely quiet. I always take my place at the window seat, reading books on mythology, history, exploring fairytales, mysteries, etc. Whenever I gaze into the distance, I have a lovely view of the green grass and swan fountain, white clouds drifting lazily over us all.

After their lessons yet before lunch while the kids are in their rooms, I sneak down to the Music Room. I play piece after piece, carefully avoiding any that may trigger flashbacks. I occasionally believe I hear someone step into the room, but I never turn around.

It's already past dinner and all of the successors are in L's room. I'm surprised that the exact same code is now dominating the entire room. I decide to keep them company, so I adjust my original black skirt and lay on the floor next to Near, who was kind enough to hand me a cushion from the couch to place under me. Since I have sudoku to do, I don't mess with the loose strings at the end of my black shirt.

It's strange to hear that the only sound is of me scratching at he paper. I almost breathe a sigh of relief whenever L clicks his fork down on the plate in order to take another piece of cake. No one speaks, unnerving me. Instead, I think about the people in the room and my experiences with them.

After a while, I pause in solving my current sudoku puzzle. _Now that I think about it… Everyone's been a bit too nice to me compared to what the manga and anime portrayed._ I look at everyone individually (all of which are far too caught up in the case to notice), beginning to play with the stray black string on my sleeve cuff.

L's eyes are unblinking as he tries to burn a hole in the monitor screen with his gaze. _L was always suspicious, but the Kira case made him more so. Perhaps that's why he's come to trust me as much as he has, the Kira case hasn't occurred yet. He's aware that I have secrets, but he isn't as pushy to get them from me like during that case. During the Kira case, he had to face a seemingly supernatural ability to kill, it made him incredibly suspicious and reckless._

My eyes dart to the snowy-haired boy next to me. A domino weaves in and out of the fingers of one hand as the other curls a lock of his hair. _Because of L's death, Near was forced out of whatever childhood he had to become the new L. He was put in charge of a large and powerful group, determined to avenge L's killer. He became cold, nothing but the case mattered. His kindness died along with L…_

Mello has even abandoned his chocolate, just holding it in his hand as he looks at the monitors. A frown is stuck on his face, his blue eyes becoming ever-more stormy. _Mello's especially nice compared to the anime. He becomes a terrorist, for heaven's sake! Come to think of it… He didn't become a loose cannon until L died. Before L's death, he only concentrated on petty competition with Near. L's death brought all of the pressure crashing down on him; it drove him crazy. He eventually died due to his insane will to prove himself._

Matt's mouth is pressed in a hard line; he hadn't even brought his gameboy with him. _Matt was always light hearted, yet incredibly dedicated to Mello. He followed him into becoming a terrorist and it killed him._

I feel my heart race increase with each passing thought. I try to keep my expression nonchalant, but it's difficult. _I don't want them to become those people! Three of them won't succumb to those fates if L doesn't die. If I can save L and help him solve the Kira case, they won't lose their humanity, or worse!_ Although I'm not sure what I can do, I'm now determined to save my friends.

I'm jerked out of me thoughts when Mello let's out a guttural yell. Near drops his domino in surprise, Matt falls over on the couch; L's eyes are the only thing to move, darting to him. He stands up, throwing his hands in the air, blonde halo flying, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO SOLVE THIS IN TIME?!"

L puts his now empty plate down before picking up a small spoon and stirs his coffee (_although it's probably more sugar than coffee_) slowly, "Well, I suppose it was a mistake to put this code off for so long. We always had it available to study, but we focused so much on those involved that we've left too little time…"

I had stopped myself from getting involved for over a week now, but my curiosity finally peaks, "What are you guys working on anyways?"

L looks at me, mentally weighing his options about keeping the case confidential and getting an outside opinion. Seeming to decide that no harm could really come from telling me, he begins his explanation, "There are a few major drug trafficking groups that have formed an alliance and are planning on coming together in a few hours time. They will be bringing, combined, one of the largest collections of illegal contraband, including drugs, weapons, and other commodities. If we can catch them in the act, we will put approximately 3 of the largest dealers behind bars. We know the when, but not the where. We intercepted this code in sections, being passed through different sources."

I drink in the information quietly. Afterwards, the boys go back to looking at the screens; I can practically see smoke rise from them as the gears in their heads work on overtime. L continues to stare at me, gauging my reaction. My brown eyes look at the code for the first time.

**2Q21H18S13N1WM25L1Z14E7HX16U15P18D20YV23S1K18A5Q8M7D21G19Y5GW5**

_This is a lot more complex than my sudoku… But in the end it's just numbers with a few letters thrown in. Naturally, we look at the letters first, but… what if… what if the letters mean nothing?_ Using that theory, I block out the letters. My eyes widen, I see the pattern, _I can see it!_

I quickly scrawl down the code in the margin of my sudoku book. _Now, the first thing to do is to get rid of all the letters. _I decide that the letters are being used to separate the numbers in a specific way.

**2 21 18 13 1 25 1 14 7 15 14 16 15 18 20 23 1 1 21 19 5 5**

My feet begin to kick up and down, one at a time. My black skirt gathers at my knees as my feet slowly work in tandem. _There are 26 letters in the alphabet. If I assign each number to a letter, I can find out what they say._ Hoping that I'm not making things more difficult than they already are, I start my work.

**BURMAYANGONPORTWAREHOUSEE**

I tap my pencil against the side of my head, thinking hard. _I can clearly see the word 'warehouse', but I'm missing something…_ I look back at the original code and realize that only in some areas there are 2 letters separating the numbers. _What if… What if that means there's supposed to be a space?_

Using this new theory, I quickly scrawl my suspicions below the previous entry:

**BURMA YANGON PORT WAREHOUSE E**

I feel a huge swell of pride in my chest; I stand up excitedly, gazing at my success, _I've solved it! _I stiffen when I feel eyes on me. Looking up, I notice that I've startled everyone. I look nervously at eyes staring at me. _They're all geniuses, I could just lead them down the wrong path. Would it be smarter to say something or to pretend like it's nothing? _

Before I can debate my decision, L speaks through a bite of cake, "Do you have a theory, M?"

I nervously step from foot to foot, gripping my sudoku book tightly. "Er, well, maybe… But I'm probably wrong."

Mello rolls his eyes and turns back to the screens; I feel a sting, but try to justify that he's just tired and agitated. Matt continues to look politely interested, but I'm certain that he's not fully invested. Near encourages me, "You might be wrong, but you may not. Why not tell us?"

Taking strength from my friend, I look down at my feet, clutching my right wrist on my left hand, "Well… could it possibly be Burma, Yangon Port, Warehouse E?"

Silence.

I wait for laughter, indignant comments, or annoyance; it doesn't come. I look up to see the backs of everyone's heads as they stare at the screens. I shrug, _Guess I was wrong._ Not wanting to intrude on the investigation any longer, I turn to make my way to the bedroom. I'm stopped by L, "M."

I hesitantly turn back, only to flinch at everyone staring at me. Matt and Mello's mouths are open, eyes wide. Near has accidentally spun his hair into a knot around his finger, but doesn't notice. L has even dropped a piece of the new pastry he had picked up on the floor, "How did you figure that out?"

I drop my pencil, "But-but that can't be right, I just went by a few suspicions that I had!"

Matt closes his mouth and runs a hand through his hair, immediately switching to a far more serious tone than I'm used to, "Burma is the 2nd highest on the list of drug-trafficking countries-"

Mello speaks next to him, a hand on his chin, thinking hard, "Yangon Port is a hub of tourism, full of nightlife events, restaurants, shops, hotels… Why would they do anything at such a high profile area?"

Near speaks up from the floor while attempting to untangle his hair, "Maybe that's the point. Having so many people around is a perfect disguise. Plus, they say that they're going to be at a warehouse." Mello glares at him for cutting his analysis off, but can't disagree with him.

I look frantically at all of them, head whipping around as they all speak. I wave my hand and sudoku book in front of my face, black bell sleeves flying, "You guys can't be serious, I don't know anything about this stuff! I can't be right!"

L doesn't look at me, instead gazing sadly down at his dropped piece of cake, "Despite your lack of confidence, can you please come up to the monitors and tell us how you got this information."

I curl the sudoku book in my hands nervously. Although they're all my friends, they're also geniuses; I'm shy to stand in front of them. I let a few stray locks of my slightly curled hair fall in front of my face; the rest stays up in the high ponytail.

Something small bounces off my head, "Don't be stupid, just show us!" I glare at Mello, wanting to take the chunk of chocolate he threw at me and shove it down his throat. My anger serves to propel me to the front of the room.

Gesturing to the code on the monitor, I describe my thought process. They hang off of my every word. L has put down his cake, a thumb to his lips. Mello nibbles on his chocolate, but pays attention. Matt leans forward, red and black striped elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. Near stacks some dominos, but I know he's listening.

When I'm finished, there's a moment of contemplative silence before L speaks, "That was very clever, M. Well done!"

I splutter, glad that the monitors only light my back, my face is totally dark, "Bu-but we don't even know if I'm right!"

L pulls out a flip phone, dialing a number. He turns his back, pacing a bit as he waits for the other end to pick up. All of the boys look at him as they wait with bated breath. I turn and slowly begin to creep away, I don't think I can handle the embarrassment if I'm wrong…

I'm stopped when a hand claps on my shoulder, "You're a part of this investigation now, you've got to see it through." _Damn it, L._

I stand impatiently with my arms crossed as L continues his call. He holds the phone by 2 fingers, hanging it next to his ear in the strangest way. I don't notice anything peculiar about the call until my jaw drops as he orders the equivalent of the US secret service to plant bugs and cameras at Warehouse E as well as to station themselves nearby.

I dart forward, reaching for the phone to call it off. Without even blinking, L pushes one of my shoulders, spinning me away from him. Ready to repeat my attack, I'm stopped when his strong arm wraps around my waist, pinning my back to his chest. I try to reach my hands over my head, squirming as much as possible. Mello face-palms, Near looks on in confusion, Matt has a suspiciously cocky grin on his face. I quickly flip him the finger before returning to my struggles.

It's all for naught: L's simply too tall and his call, too short. I drop my arms in defeat, putting my hands to my face. I groan into my palms, "Damn it, L! What if I'm wrooooong!"

I feel my face redden behind my hands as his voice speaks in my ear, "With what you've shown us, there's less than a 1% chance that you could be wrong. Have more confidence in yourself." He releases me and I numbly shuffle to the couch. Mello and Matt scramble away from each other as I collapse onto it in a disheveled heap.

Mello pokes my head before looking up at Matt, "Is she dead?" Matt pats my shoulder consolingly.

We wait for what seems like days. Matt retrieves his gameboy, L moves on to another case in a manilla folder, Mello eats some chocolate and stares at the ceiling, Near begins an intricate domino design. I complete sudoku puzzle after puzzle before the numbers shift into incomprehensible squiggles. I finally fall into a nervous sleep on the couch in a room full of friends.

* * * * *

The phone rings. L's hand whips out and snatches it from the table, discarding the fork he had been using. He speaks quietly to it, ignoring the curious gazes of his successors. He finally nods and hangs up. He slowly stands, stretching his arms above his black hair. Matt and Mello look at him in confusion as he approaches the couch.

He crouches down in front of M, who had fallen asleep. She had fallen over, now leaning on Mello's shoulder. Surprisingly, Mello hadn't even mentioned it, let alone gotten annoyed. He put a thumb to his lips, examining her peaceful face. Near softly speaks, "What is it?"

L answers quietly, as not to disturb M, "She was right. Everyone was apprehended and the illegal contraband seized."

Mello looks at her, a twinge of jealously upon his face, "How did she figure it out in a few minutes when none of us, not even you, L, could?"Although he doesn't expect an answer he gets one.

L gazes into her face, as if trying desperately to get into her thoughts and see how she works, "I don't know."


	13. Chapter 13 - Another Case? No, THE Case

**Author's Note:** I warn you now: this is a short proof. Before you kill me, it's because, after this chapter, we dive into the REAL story! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 13****\- Another Case? No, THE Case**

This morning I walk into L's room, sudoku book &amp; pen in hand, to see that only L is present. _I never have any idea what time it is, I suppose 'lessons' haven't begun for the boys yet._ My eyebrows come together slightly in puzzlement at I see that all of the monitors are off, leaving only the laptop that L is perched in front of to giving off an eerie glow.

Shivering at the lack of light and hoping the hallucinations stay away, I walk quickly to the couch and flop down upon it, slightly curled hair flying into my face; I hadn't bothered to put it up. After glancing at my sudoku book, I quickly realize that I'm not really in the mood to do any puzzles. I put it down on the floor, dropping the pen on top of it.

I pluck at my long mint green shirt that Lady had been kind enough to make for me. Turns out, she's quite skilled at making clothes, as well as dancing. Fortunately, she had also recognized that I was clearly uncomfortable with short sleeves for she had give this shirt sleeves that reach my fingertips. Tight black leggings cover my legs down to my ankles, but I don't mind since my shirt is so long. She had even been kind enough to give me a pair of modest mint tear-drop earrings (I also have a red pair back in the bedroom). I frown a bit as I realize that it's too quiet, even for L. I turn my head to examine the insomniac.

The first thought I have is: _Something's wrong_. My largest indicator is that the table next to L full of sweets is completely untouched; not one cake tasted, not one candy plucked from its bowl, even the sugar cubes have been saved from their fate. His cup of coffee is full, probably stone cold. He hadn't turned to greet me although he would have normally noticed my entrance. Worried, I stand and approach him.

He continues to stare at the screen, eyes unblinking, leaning so far forward that it's a miracle he remains seated (well, crouched). He's so focused that I'm almost certain he doesn't know that I stand beside him. His thumb is pressed to his mouth so hard that I can see a few small beads of blood roll down his thumb. I sigh, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, _This can only mean one thing: It's finally starting._

I reach forward and gently take his wrist. He jumps and whips his head around, almost falling out of chair. I keep a tight hold on his wrist and turn to the table to grab a napkin. I gently pull his hand towards me and place the napkin on his thumb. Luckily, none of the blood had reached his pristine white shirt yet. I smile and try to lighten the stiflingly heavy mood that weighs down upon us, "Really L, you can't go biting your thumb off!"

He doesn't answer; I look up at him. In any other situation, I would have jumped back, but I'm too stunned. Our faces are so close that our noses are almost touching. He looks confused and a bit startled, like he still can't comprehend that I'm next to him, caring about his well-being.

Feeling a blush rising in my cheeks, I hurriedly shove his hand into his chest and straighten up. The shadows, thankfully, retake my face. He slowly looks down at his hand, attempting to comprehend my concern. "Thank you," he mumbles softly.

Although I already know the answer, I put my hands on my hips, "L, what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Large eyes look up at me, as if he'd already forgotten my presence, before slowly returning to the screen of data, "Nothing's wrong. Simply a new case, nothing more." The look in his eyes frightens me. I tap my foot impatiently (I often get irritated when I'm worried), _This isn't just another case to him, this is THE case. He's frustrated, curious, and… enjoying himself. L, you have no idea what you're getting into!_ I frown, _Looks like I've got to save him from his own fate._

Determined not to let him get away with an explanation like that, I march away from him; he doesn't even acknowledge my departure. I grab one of the spare chairs and viciously haul it over next to him. He jumps a bit again, startled at my return. I plop down in it with finality, interlock my legs, and glare at the computer, "Alright then, tell me about it!"

Holding a hand to the napkin on his thumb, eyes widened in shocked at my insistence. Once he finds his voice, he says, "M, this isn't like the drug dealer case. This is much worse."

He reaches forward to turn the laptop screen away, but I grab his wrist again. He looks up at my smirking face, an evil glint in my brown eyes, "Too late."

I lean back in my chair, "Well, unfortunately for you, I am a VERY fast reader. I've already read all of the information that's on the screen. Judging by the information, I've read more than enough to get the picture."

I grin over at L. He looks like he's struggling with multiple emotions, mainly incredulity, frustration, and… something else… _approval?_ I stand up, reaching my hands over my head in a leisurely cat-like stretch. I attempt to appear totally in control even though I'm about to get involved in one of the most dangerous cases in the world. I smile at him before reaching over and grabbing a small plate of vanilla cake with a strawberry. I offer it to him as a kind of silent plea for him not to be angry.

We wait for a moment before he sighs and takes the plate. "Alright, what do you think, M?" He begins to quickly demolish the poor pastry.

I begin to pace behind our chairs; L listens quietly, still facing the computer. My mint green shirt billows out in front of me as I walk in a line, toes pointed with every step, "The most obvious is that whoever they are, they have a very childish way of thinking. They believe that they're a god-like figure, that they can fix the world and, worse, that they have the right to. Why else would they only target criminals?"

I pause, poised on the toes of one foot, and look to L for the cue to continue. His head is turned to the side, one eye watching me; I shiver with a feeling I'd rather not describe. "Yes, continue."

I continue to pace, looking hurriedly at the ground, "Judging by the time of death and the area of the world in which these deaths are occurring, it's most likely a student." I stop talking, almost losing my balance to tumble on my face, _Crap, that was awfully risky. Does he know that I know more than I should? _I now have L's full attention. His gray eyes analyze everything about me; I immediately check any nervous twitches that might give me away.

After a quiet moment, he prods me further, "Why do you say that?"

I stride towards his chair, hoping to appear nonchalant, "If I'm not mistaken, the deaths have all occurred after the 6 o'clock news when they report criminals. Any outliers are still killed after school ends." I put my elbow on the back of his chair, staring at the laptop my screen. My hair hangs down, resting on his shoulder. "It seems a bit too much for coincidence, doesn't it?" I look down into the eyes of the most confusing man in the world. The expression on his face is unreadable and I'm not sure what to think.

He finally breaks eye-contact with me and reaches to pick up the strawberry (the only survivor of his slice of cake). He rolls it between his thumb and pointer finger, much like he did on the night of my interrogation. _He must be deciding something. _After a few moments, he stands up, placing the hand not holding the strawberry in his pocket. "L?" I ask tentatively.

He walks around his chair, coming to stand in front of me. From the anime, I know he really has no concept of personal space, but it still takes me by surprise. I resist the urge to lean backwards as he stands barely a half of a foot away. Because he hunches his shoulders so much, he unintentionally _(or maybe intentionally, I don't know)_ towers over me. His gray eyes stare into mine; I hold my breath.

"M."

I stiffen at the seriousness of his tone, whipping my hands behind my back to clasp my right wrist in my left hand, "Yes?!"

He leans forward, "Since you solved the code of the last case, this answer should come easily to you." He lifts his hand out of his pocket and puts it to the side of his mouth to whisper conspiratorially, "What is the 9th letter of the alphabet?"

I answer slowly, eyes wide and confused, "I?"

Before I can blink, he's placed the strawberry in my mouth. My face turns as red as the fruit; what's worse is that we're both so close to the laptop that I know he can see the blush. I take the green leafs from my mouth &amp; look up to ask him why the hell he did that only to see him smiling. My anger dies on my lips and I lose myself in that smile, drinking it in.

He turns around and walks towards the hall doors as I gaze stupidly after him. I finally compose myself, "L, what are you doing?" I gaze at the black mop on his head, desperate to understand what runs through that brain.

He doesn't answer my question, "Pack your bag, M."

Confused, I ask, "Why?"

He opens the door slightly, making me squint at the seemingly bright light flooding the room. Still smiling, he turns his head slightly towards me. Although half of his face is in shadow, I could swear his face is slightly pink. Despite this, his next statement is said with a firm sincerity that makes me shiver:

"We're going to Japan."


	14. Chapter 14 - This Is Not Goodbye

**Author's Note:** I bet you all tested out what shape your mouth makes at the letter 'I' from the last chapter! This chapter's a bit longer this time to make up for the last one. Anyways, try to contain the feels as M leaves for Japan… and the most dangerous adventure of her life. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs.***

**Chapter 14**** \- This Is Not Goodbye**

L told me that we were going to leave soon, even though it was early morning, so I had quickly showered and changed into my red sleeveless shirt and black pants. I reasoned that it would be the outfit least likely to get in the way at a busy airport.

In any case, here I am, pulling a suitcase loaned to me by L out onto the main staircase. The entire time I was packing my clothes and necessities, I had struggled with guilt at not being able to say goodbye to the children of Wammy's House. Propping up the black suitcase, I quietly close the door behind me in the light of the chandelier that had been dimmed, _It's probably for the best. I'm not sure if I'm coming back and it might be better if I just disappeared from their lives… like I was never here. _

I sigh and reach a hand back for my suitcase only to be met with air. Worried that it was on the brink of crashing noisily down the stairs, I whip around, damp hair flying. Although it's very dark, I can make them all out standing in the Main Entryway, pajamas and all.

Shayna glares up at me in a long blue nightshirt, hands on her hips, beautiful long brown hair falling freely down her back. The eternally regal Lady has a dangerously unreadable expression on her face, wearing a flowing black nightgown with ruffles at the bottom. The ever-shy and very sleepy Damien, practically tripping over a robin's egg blue shirt as he clutches to the back of Lady's nightgown. Axel grins wide enough to crack open his skull, unashamedly sporting a green sleeveless shirt and… brown boxers… I have to stifle a giggle. Mello wears all black; I'm surprised that neither his t-shirt nor his sweatpants are leather. Near's outfit hasn't changed, of course, as he twirls a lock of his hair. It turns out Matt had snatched my suitcase away from me, only lacking his vest and now wearing sweats instead of jeans. I mentally groan, _Busted…_

We're all silent for a few tense moments, over half a dozen people staring at me. I open my mouth to defend myself, but Mello speaks up; I know I'm in trouble because his voice is quiet, "Did you really think that none of us would be able to tell that you were going to leave? We keep tabs on the news, you know, it's kind of our job."

Shayna walks angrily to the bottom of the stairs, "What are you thinking, agreeing to go on this case?!"

I walk quickly down the stairs, bare feet sinking in to the carpet. I come to a stop on the last stair, shushing her, "You'll wake the others!"

Her face darkens as she practically shouts, "I DON'T CAR-" A hand claps over her mouth.

I look up gratefully at Lady who looks sadly up at me, "She is right about this, M. This case is nothing like what anyone's ever seen before. You have no experience, it's too dangerous!"

I'm starting to get irritated that I can't utter a word between everyone interrupting each other. Before I can give them a piece of my mind, a small body collides against my legs. My arms pinwheel before I catch the thick railing. Looking down, I see a crying Damien. I sigh, picking him up. The poor thing's eyes are full of large, fat tears, "Don't go…" I hug him to me, rocking back and forth as I rub his back.

Looking over everyone, I see two silhouettes watching the event from the slightly cracked front door. A beam of moonlight light the Main Entryway a bit more. One becomes known as Watari as he walks past us all, letting us have out moment. As he walks to get my suitcase from Matt, I stare at the silhouette of the wild black hair I've come to know so well. _L…_

I smile to myself before turning my head to look up at Matt, "Matt? Would you mind coming down here so I can speak with you all?"

"Sure." I'm grateful to both him and Near that they haven't jumped down my throat yet. He finally comes to stand next to me on the last stair; they all wait expectantly for what I have to say.

I pull Damien from me to look into his eyes, untangling his fists from my hair, although I'm addressing everyone, "Hun, don't cry. You're all right… This is dangerous. Lady," I look at the girl in question, "you're spot on: I don't have experience." I turn to Mello, who still has his arms crossed stubbornly, "No, Mello, I didn't truly believe that I could sneak by you all… I guess I was just hoping I could. The reason why is because," I look to Damien confidently, "I don't like to say goodbye unless I'm certain it is. And I know this isn't. But I have to do this." I turn to the successors, completely forgetting L's presence, "You all know how L is; he's always so busy saving the world that he forgets about his own wellbeing. I have a… feeling that if I let him go about this case on his own, that he's going to get himself into trouble. So please… you've _got_ to let me do this."

There's a silence as everyone considers my words. I hold Damien (and my breath), praying that they'll accept my speech. Lady steps forward, "In truth, we all knew we wouldn't be able to stop you, we just needed you to give us a reason. So, we all have things to give you."

I splutter, clutching Damien tighter to me and stiffening, "I-I don't need anything! The fact you all are my friends is more than enough!"

Ignoring my words, Shayna throws a bag I hadn't noticed into my hands with a huff, "Tough luck! You're getting presents!"

My eyes go as wide as saucers at her… _friendly-fury I suppose?_ I look into the bag to see a beautiful leather-bound sketchbook and a pencil case. I try desperately to hand it back to her, "I can't accept this! It's a beautiful sketchbook, you should have it!"

Matt laughs, "You're going to insult her if you don't take it!" I glare at him for taking her side, but grudgingly accept the beautiful gift.

Shayna points up at me, sapphire blue eyes blazing, "I expect all of those pages to be full of beautiful art when you get back!"

I salute, smacking myself in the face with the bag, "Yes, ma'am!" I'm relieved to see that everyone's smiling, the air lightened, at our playful banter.

Lady steps forward, "You're surprise from me is already in your suitcase." My mouth drops open as I try to remember when I had even left it unguarded. Thinking that it's been an awfully long time since Watari went to get my suitcase, I whirl on him as he descends the stairs. He smiles at me good-naturedly as he passes me by. I turn back to a smiling Lady, "Oh!" She reaches into an unseen pocket of her nightgown and pulls out a black hair clasp. "All of those hair-ties will eventually break your hair."

She smiles at me as I take it, "I used to use these at home all the time! You're a life-saver!" I take it from her, but by now I'm having some difficulty with Damien, the bag, and the hair-clip. Lady reaches forward to take Damien, but he isn't looking at her.

He stares at me hard, tears finally sliding down his face and staining his shirt a darker shade of blue. I, instead, hand Lady the bag and clip before wiping the young boy's face. He suddenly launches himself forward and hugs me tightly. When he finally releases me, he doesn't say a word; he reaches for Lady and we trade.

I take my long hair and spin it before lifting it towards the ceiling. I take the clasp and clip the twist to the back of my head. I let the rest of the hair fall over it, almost looking like a ponytail from the front; ends of my hair barely grazing my red shirt. I sigh in relief.

A rectangular square object smacks me in the forehead. It didn't hurt and, despite my surprise, I manage to catch it as it falls. _It's a chocolate bar. _I look up at Mello who is looking determinedly in the opposite direction. _Aw… _Smiling evilly, I dart forward and hug him tightly. He looks down, blushing slightly, "Hey!"

I grin up at him, "Thanks, Mello!" I release him, putting the chocolate in the paper bag with the rest of my gifts as I walk back to my perch on the last stair.

"AND NOW IT'S MY TURN!" Axel leaps in front of me, bare feet slamming into the ground, ball-and-chain earring swinging. Since I'm on the last step of the stairs, I'm slightly taller than him.

Lady smacks him on the back of his head, hissing, "You'll wake the whole house!"

Ignoring her, he places his right fist on his left hand. I pale considerably, _No way. I'm not going to be part of that mess. _Before I can try to back out, he smiles up at me, far more calm than usual. His hazel eyes gleam at me, "Just one match before you go?"

Resigning myself to my fate, I place my right fist on my left hand. ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS! He draws out scissors while I keep my fist as is; we stare at the results. I wait for him to explode, but instead he closes his eyes, sighs and straightens. After a moment, he opens his eyes and smiles at me, "Well that settles it! You'll have to come back now for a rematch." My jaw drops as I realize the trick he pulled. _Damn it, Axel! I forgot that he's a genius too! What will I do if I die now?!_ Axel throws his head back, red hair flaring out, and lets out a wicked cackle. We all jump, still half asleep. Lady comes to the rescue, pounding a fist down on his head.

As they begin to argue back and forth, Matt shuffles closer to me. He watches the bickering pair, but speaks quietly to me, "You know, Near is probably one of the most torn up about you leaving. A close friend is leaving him when he has so few. Mello and I will keep an eye on him, but I helped him with his gift to you so please accept it." His orange goggle-covered eyes look pleadingly at me. I squirm internally, unwilling to promise him anything. I look a the boy clad in white who had yet to say even one word. I'm overcome with sadness that I'll be leaving him… I nod to Matt.

Matt beckons to Near who cautiously approaches us. Mello watches us quietly out of the corner of his eye. I can't see any bag with him or anything noticeable, for that matter. I take a step down the stairs, now only one inch taller than him. He's looking down; I can't see his eyes through his bush of white hair. Near reaches out and takes my right hand in his left. He then covers my hand in his right hand, placing something in it. He hesitates for a moment before releasing me and stepping away.

I gasp as I look at what he left in my hand. It's a single die with a hole drilled in a corner with a thick chain looped through the gap. I know, if just by a gut feeling, that it's the same die I returned to him on my second day at Wammy's. I choke back tears as I look back up at him, mouth slightly open. His dark eyes peek shyly up through his bangs before darting away. _He's afraid,_ I realize. _He's afraid I won't accept his gift. _

I smile softly before decisively unhooking the clasp. I put the necklace around my neck with a firm sense of finality. Near's eyes are wide as I hug him. "Thank you, I won't take it off," I whisper in his ear.

He finally smiles, "You know, I expect that back. I can't finish a dice building without it. You'd better bring it back or I'll never forgive you." Although I feel a punch to my gut since there's a strong possibility I won't come back at all, I nod.

"Of course!"

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see Matt, "A word?" Surprised, I nod before ascending a few stairs with him. "I know that look, M. It's the look that says 'I can't promise anything'." I bite my lip guiltily. He shakes his head, smiling, "I get it, you can't predict what will happen; but please, just try your best."

I look up at him seriously, all joking gone from my eyes, "I will. Please keep an eye on everyone here and don't let Mello tear into Near so much."

He's already nodding at my last statement. I think our conversation's over when he smiles wickedly down and whispers conspiratorially to me, "Oh, and open your eyes and see your feelings for L already, won't you?" I blush against my will and smack his arm with my hand.

I jump as L speaks from the front door, "We need to be going now, M." I nod to him before gathering up my bag of gifts and walking towards the door. Hands in his pockets, he walks me to a sleek black car before opening the door for me to get in. We both sit in the back seat of the car, staring out of our respective windows.

I watch sadly as the silhouettes of 7 children wave at us, disappearing out of sight.

I suddenly realize something: _We're catching a plane, how did I have time to have that long, drawn out goodbye?_ I smile, taking the hair clip out of my hair since it hurts against the car seat, and place it in the gift bag. Instead, I take out the pencil case, speaking to L, "You knew."

He turns away from the window, thumb to his lips. His head's tilted slightly to the side, almost like a curious puppy,_ God, he's adorable… What am I thinking?! _"Knew what?"

I smile at him, "You knew that they were going to figure it out. You made me get ready early so that they could all say goodbye."

He looks up contemplatively before murmuring innocently, "… Perhaps…"

I laugh quietly, unzipping the pencil case. Inside is about a dozen mechanical pencils (which I had told Shayna that I preferred) and five erasers fashioned like mechanical pencils. _These are great for precision!_ Replacing the pencil case, I take out the leather sketchbook. Opening the first page, I spot a note taped inside.

It's the signatures of the friends I had just left behind. Shayna's whips around, very professional-looking. Lady's was delicate and small, very modest and beautiful. Axel's took up most of the paper, _He was clearly more preoccupied with being noticed first._ Damien's is a hardly-legible scrawl, but clearly written with a lot of concentration. The successor's signatures line the bottom, all only the first letters of their names (although Mello's 'M' is clear because of how loopy it is). Right above their letters, in Near's handwriting, says 'Be safe'.

Before I can burst into tears, I notice that the wraps around my arms are coming lose. Although I know that L's seen the damage under the bandages, I'm still a bit uncomfortable under his gaze as I begin to unwrap my arms.

I'm stopped when a pale hand is placed over mine. I look up at L who stares at my arms, a thoughtful expression donning his face. Too stunned to resist, I allow him to tug my arms toward him; I turn slightly in my seat. He slowly unwraps both of my arms. I watch his face, but there's no hint of disgust or pity. He pulls the bandages away, clearly meaning to confiscate them. Desperate not to lose them, I lurch forward, hands outstretched, "L! I can't go to an airport like this!" My now slightly damp hair falls in my face; I blow it out of my eyes, aggravated. He smiles a bit at my frustration at my hair.

L grabs my hand in one of his, holding the bandages away from me in his other. I look pleadingly into his eyes. L's eyes hold a gentle emotion, "You don't need to fear what scars you may have with me, M." I thank the lord that it's almost three in the morning and that the moonlight is lighting L's face, not mine, because my face is probably the same shade of my shirt. His face looks even paler with the combination of moonlight and his white shirt.

L breaks eye contact with me as he reaches under his chair. He hands me two pieces of dark cloth. I straighten up, _Lordy, I was practically on his lap! _and take a closer look. They're smooth, black fingerless gloves. I look at him for confirmation. Once he nods, I try them on to find that they reach above my elbows, fitting perfectly.

I stare at my arms, "L, I can't accept all this, you've helped me out enough as is."

"On the contrary," He looks back out the window before whispering almost inaudibly, "I don't think I've helped you nearly enough…"

I'm gently shaken awake as we reach the airport. L hands me a pair of black flats as he reluctantly pulls on his own shoes. I laugh at his expression of distaste. He looks at me curiously, but I only smile my thanks and clamber out, gift bag in hand. It turns out Watari had already had our luggage sent ahead of us so I didn't have to worry about that. Somehow, he had also gotten us checked in, although I'm not sure how.

Everything had been going great until we step into the main building. I don't think; I latch onto L's arm. _There's way too many people._ I squeeze my eyes shut as the sounds of everything assault my ears despite the early hour: the clacking of shoes, the rolling of luggage, the occasional bang as something's dropped, the buzzing of electronics, the shouted instructions of security.

L speaks from my side, "You're certainly going to have a problem in Japan if this is difficult."

I release his arm, snapping at him from the stress, "Well soorryyyy! I didn't choose to have hyper senses and a near inability to interact with people!" I whip my head around to check behind me on instinct. It doesn't help that L's strange appearance isn't exactly discreet. He draws stares from security guards and travelers alike as they pass us by.

L's eyes widen a bit at my outburst, but he quickly composes himself. He grabs my hand and moves forward through the crowd, ignoring the stares of those we pass. Stunned, I allow myself to be dragged after him.

With L's help, we make it to… _a private jet?!_ I sigh, shoulders sagging. _You know what, it's late, I'm with the world's greatest detective, nothing makes sense these days. Whatever._ We climb aboard and take our seats. L crouches in a seat across from me, a table between us. After a few moments, Watari joins us, taking a seat further down the plane. He cleans his glasses, sighing through his elegant mustache. After a few more moments, the plane takes off.

I sigh in relief before rubbing my temples, still concerned that L may be angry at me, "I'm sorry I snapped at you L. I just… It's always so loud and-"

L puts a hand up, "From the conditions that we already deduced you have when we were at Wammy's House, I shouldn't have been surprised. I apologize for not preparing for the situation." He brings out a few manila folders and hands half of them to me, "Please go over these during the flight. We need to know as much as possible."

I take them, getting serious. _I've been slacking. I need to remember everything I can about the series if I'm going to save L._ I turn through the files slowly while I actually think about every detail of the anime. I had watched it over a dozen times and almost know it by heart. _But in the heat of the moment, I'm going to forget crucial details. I need to stay calm and concentrate. _I take my hair clip out of my bag and put my hair up, determined to work hard.

I recite the episodes to myself as the black fog of sleep slowly overtakes me.

L had been analyzing the folders for hours, thinking through every possibility. He sighed as the plane touched down. The sun was still rising, lighting the inside of the plane with bright beams of light. Looking up, he noticed that M was sleeping. He smiled to himself as he saw multiple folders open; clearly she had been studying as hard as she could with barely any sleep.

He confiscated the folders from her, placing them in a briefcase. Watari strode up the compartment. After a few words with L, he took their bags to the car.

L stood, stretching after such a long flight. He thought through a few solutions to move M, but felt a sense of unexplainable protectiveness. He gently placed his arms under the form of the sleeping girl. Lifting her incredibly light frame up, he easily carried her out of the plane and down to the black car. He managed to maneuver her onto a back seat without waking her. He walked around the back of the car to reach his own seat. He raised an eyebrow at Watari (who was smiling in a secretive way not unlike the sneaky smile Matt often gave M back at Wammy's House) before clambering into the vehicle.

They didn't have to drive very long, but L allowed his thoughts to divert away from the case as his dark eyes analyzed the sleeping girl. Her reddish-brown hair was beginning to fall out of her clip, some of it already in her face. She breathed evenly, mouth slightly open.

_She's beautiful._ L immediately reanalyzed his thoughts, trying to find a source for that statement. _I know for certain that she's a mystery I wish to solve. What she said at Wammy's House.. she want to protect me? Why? She barely knows me? I still don't know how she came to be here. She seems to have above average intelligence about this case. But it seems to be more than that… How do I actually feel about this? _His toes rubbed over each other as his brain worked at a furious rate.

Since the young genius isn't very good with feelings (even his own), he still had yet to find an answer as they pulled into the parking garage of the hotel they would be staying in. He looked over at the girl and sighed, _I'll have to think further about this later._

In the same city, a handsome boy worked furiously on his notebook. If his mother walked in, she would assume he was studying, but the reality was far from.

He smirked at an unearthly figure behind him who gave a wheezing laugh.

Seconds later and miles away, criminals dropped down dead.

_This world is rotten._


	15. Chapter 15 - Game On

**Author's Note:** Announcement: Unfortunately, I'm an extremely sick person. I'll be leaving soon to go get treatment, so the updates are going to be unpredictable. I do plan on completing the story, but I'm not sure when chapters will come out. Please continue to review and read so that I feel the inspiration to continue. Anyways, a lot a lot is going on in this chapter; including the explanation of how M came to be in the world of Death Note… and how she can get back. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 15****\- Game On**

I wake up to darkness. I tense up, completely terrified of the shadows that envelop me. I reach a shaky hand over to grab my sudoku book from the bedside table, desperate to find something familiar. My hand smacks into a table, but it's smaller than the one by the bed at Wammy's House. I move my fingers along the smooth surface, unable to find anything. Panicking thoroughly, I sit up. I can feel eyes on me, the unseen shadows coming ever-closer…

As I try to coach myself to breathe slower, I notice that there's a rectangle of dim light, about the size of a door across from me. I practically tumble off of what must be a bed and make a break for any source of light.

I tumble through the door, my knees colliding with a carpet as I almost crash to the ground. The room I have stormed into isn't much brighter than the one I had come from; the only light sources are the laptop that L perches in front of and the kitchenette in the back of the hotel room. L whips around to look at me, eyes widening at my entrance.

I take note of none of these things, noticing only the long dark fingers that grasp at the back of my collar, the ends of my hair. Once out of the bedroom, I whip around on my hands and knees to face the darkness. A face, the same face that had been haunting me since childhood, looms out of the darkness. _A grey face without eyes, two dark holes for nostrils, a listless black hole of a mouth-_. Not letting myself lock up in fear, I dart forward and slam the door closed on the face.

Whatever voice of reason that shrieks at me that it's just a hallucination, that I'm having a panic attack, is drowned out by fear. The fight or flight instinct jerks through my body, and I know I can't fight this. I run towards the brightest source of light: the kitchen. Bare feet slapping the tiles, I move as fast as I can to the corner of the kitchenette. Slamming into the walls, I crouch down, back against the wall, ready to defend against anything.

I see nothing… nothing except the face. I feel nothing… nothing except the fingers trying to drag me into the darkness. An evil hunger radiates from it, prowling around me, looking for a gap in my defenses. I hear voices, but nothing they say makes sense to me.

"What's going on, L?"

"Ah, Watari, I believe she's having a panic attack."

I feel the fingers find purchase on my forearm that is raised in front of me. I shriek and lash out at the creature. A second hand wraps around my fist as it speaks, "M, M, it's me, L."

_What is it saying? What is it doing? Get off of me, get away of me,_ "GET AWAY FROM ME!" I scream, jerking my arms out of it's grip. I try to back further into the wall, "JUST GO AWAY! FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

Silence.

After a few minutes, my breathing takes on a smoother tempo. I allow myself to fall back to the cold tile floor. "I'm so tired, I'm just so tired…" I pull my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around them, and put my head down upon my knee caps._ If it wants to kill me, so be it. _

It seems like forever as I wait for it to take me. My heart rate slows and the panic begins to subside. I exhale as I'm able to convince myself it was just a panic attack. Carefully running through the details of the event, I think back to the voices I had heard. Realizing now what they had said, I jerk my face out of my arms- "L!" I look up and see the person in question crouching about two feet from me in a brightly lit kitchenette. Knees to my chest, I'm suddenly incredibly grateful that I'm still wearing the pants I wore to the airport.

Gray eyes study me calmly, not even looking down as he continues to pick apart a slice of chocolate cake with a fork. I notice that, although he's separating bite-sized pieces, he doesn't seem to actually be eating any of it. _Is he… worried about me?_ I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment, "What happened?"

L then does something I never thought I would see. He discards the platter of now dissected cake on the ground before scooting closer to me. Our toes are almost touching as he places his hands upon his knees, "I was hoping you could answer that for me… although I have a suspicion that this is exactly what happened in the Game Room back at Wammy's House. The only difference is that I wasn't with you to keep you grounded."

I groan, allowing my forehead to thump back down onto my arms, "Do I really have to tell you? You already think I'm strange enough as is." I stiffen slightly as a thought occurs to me, _Wait, he remembered that? He sounds almost like he feels… guilty about not being there this time…_

Feeling the warmth of my arms on my forehead- _Wait a minute!_ I jerk my head up as I realize that I must have left my gloves in the bedroom. I look down at my hideously scarred arms before groaning again, giving up any form of secrecy, and slamming my forehead back down upon my arms.

We're so close that I can feel the vibrations of his deep voice through the floor, "I don't really see you as strange. Considering the information you've given me about yourself, there's logical explanations for all of your behavior. I would simply like to understand the reasoning behind this situation."

I cautiously look up at him through my wild long hair. _I know that… I love him. _I shudder internally at how foreign the phrase sounds, _The question is, how much information do I trust him with? _We have a quiet stare down as I ponder my predicament. The raven-haired detective doesn't try to push me to talk, he just waits. Cake forgotten, he simply crouches with his hands on his knees, waiting for my answer.

Unbidden even to myself, I come to a decision: _I trust him with everything about me. Maybe not all at once, and maybe not about other things (he gets pretty reckless about the Kira case), but I trust him with my secrets._

L seems to be able to see my resolve harden because he leans forward slightly, ready for my statement.

I begin to scratch at my arm as I begin, "You see, ever since I can remember, I've been seeing things in the dark. My psychologists all believe that they're a manifestation of my anxiety. The anger, the hatred, but most of all the fear, literally all come after me, taking on a form-"

I halt my explanation as his hand grabs mine. I look down at his slender fingers wrapped gently around my mine, only to notice that I had been scratching at myself so hard that I had almost added yet another scar to my arm. L doesn't say a word; he just holds my small hand in the gentle yet firm grasp of his long fingers.

I decide that I don't mind this, _at all. _I down at our bare feet, placed so close together on the floor, "So essentially, I can't stand the dark… If something triggers a flashback, I do the same thing, essentially."

I don't look up as he mumbles, "I see…" I wait for a few moments, listening for his analysis. Instead I hear, "What should I do, in event of that situation?" My head whips up so fast that I hear a vertebrae in my neck pop. _He does care!_ His eyes gaze back at me curiously.

I shake myself, "Well… you have to let it run its course, there's no use trying to talk any sense into me. Typically, the episode will end faster if whoever I'm most familiar and comfortable with is near me. Without my family here, that would probably mean you're the closest to filling those shoes…" Not realizing what I was saying, I immediately turn pink and try to retrace my steps, "B-but the episode will end either way, don't worry about it!"

L seems a bit surprised at my sudden change in speech, but he doesn't say anything about it. After a moment, he stands up, gently tugging me with him, "Alright."

I stand up jerkily in surprise, "A-alright?"

He drags me over to his discarded platter of cake and picks it up, "Yes. It all makes sense to me and I can deduce the rest. Anyway, my meeting with the police staff is about to begin. Watari has already headed over and I must speak with them." He releases me and walks over to his still open laptop. He sits in front of it, "If you wish to listen in, feel free, but please stay absolutely silent."

I walk forward, sitting just behind L and leaning back against the couch. Even though there aren't as many light's on as I would have hoped, L's presence is like another light. There's a few moments where the only sound to be heard is the clatter of a fork on china and L as he finally begins to actually eat his cake. L breaks the silence, although he doesn't look back at me, "May I see your hand?"

Unsure of the reason behind his request but trusting him, I lean forward and hold out my right hand. He grips my wrist and tugs it forward. I almost bang my head on my knees, "Hey!" I feel something round fall into my palm. Retracting my hand, I see that it's a peach.

I glare down at it before looking up at the detective, "Near?"

The shock of black hair nods. I begin to grumble at the fruit, cursing it's existence, when he says, "Watari reports back to Wammy's House almost daily, so unless you want to receive an angry call from the boys, I suggest you eat it."

My jaw drops, "Bu-but you- I- THAT'S BLACKMAIL!"

He turns his head so that he can see my expression, fork sticking out of his mouth. He shrugs 'innocently'. I hope the room is dark enough that he can't see me blush. Attempting to retain some dignity, I bring my foot up. I jab his back with my toes, glaring all the while with a pout, "Fine." He turns back, but I know that he's smiling slightly.

We sit for a few moments as L awaits the conference call with the police about Kira. I find myself becoming more and more anxious as the time for my job in the story draws near. I've only eaten half of the peach when I set it aside. A twinge of guilt knots in my stomach, both at the lack of food and that I may not be able to fulfill my promise to the Wammy's House children; I raise my hand to my neck and begin to play with the solitary die that hangs there.

Meanwhile, the detective thinks quietly about the events leading up to the two of them sitting in front of his laptop. He chews thoughtfully, _This case may be difficult for her if she has such strong panic attacks. Either way, she definitely knows more than she's telling me. She saw the details of the murders in the folders, yet hasn't said a word about it, almost as if she wasn't surprised. I can't allow her to leave my sight in case she has knowledge about me. But…_

He swallows a piece of his cake, thoughts moving in an entirely different direction, _Why did she say she was going in order to protect me?_ L looks up at the ceiling, as if the answer may be written there. _She told the children that she wasn't going in order to save others' lives, but specifically to keep me safe. What does that mean? How does she think she can protect me? More importantly, why does she want to protect me? _

L feels something unfamiliar flutter inside himself, _Even stranger still, why do I feel this need to protect her? I've always dedicated myself to solving cases and saving lives, but why is hers so personal to me? I immediately dropped everything when she burst out of the bedroom. How come that whenever she's in distress, I suddenly feel as if there's nothing more important than helping her?_

The detective places his now empty plate far to the side. He stares intently at the screen, still thinking about the young woman behind him, _Either way, she's a mystery I have yet to solve._

A few minutes go by, causing me to think a bit too hopefully. "L, did the ICPO specifically ask for your help yet?" _Maybe he won't even end up as part of this case, maybe it won't be as bad as in the anime._

He doesn't turn to look at me, only continuing to stare intently at the screen, "No, but they have no other choice. They have no where to go. Autopsies reveal only that the cause has been heart attacks. If it there was a weapon in play, then they could go with that lead and I would not be needed. However-" I can see his shoulders shift in the light of the laptop, head turning ever so slightly in my direction. A single grey orb stares at me out of the corner of his eye, "I don't recall ever telling you specifically that I was meeting with the ICPO."

I blink, only revealing confusion on my face while my insides are filled with ice. _Crap, think fast, think fast!_ I say my next words slowly, as if it's the only explanation, "Well, I thought it was obvious. You wouldn't be meeting with just the police when these crimes have risen to such a scale. Of course other organizations world-wide are meeting about this." I wait anxiously as he studies my face. My eyes widen when a video feed of the conference pops up; I point silently at the screen. I'm relieved when his intense gaze is diverted to the first step in the case.

I can't see any details on the faces of the members of the ICPO; the camera is focused on such a large room that it's impossible. All I can see is that everyone is staring at the laptop with a burning intensity. L moves quickly, speaking into the mic in front of him, "Greetings to all of you at the ICPO. I am L."

It is now that I realize a HUGE flaw in my plan: _I don't speak Japanese_. The only thing that stops me from banging my head into the floor is that I know it would disturb L's meeting. _I know enough to get by and pick out phrases, but it'll be more than suspicious when I know about what they say in conversations sometimes when I can't others! I only know about the important conversations because I watched the anime a billion times, I won't know anything else except for bits and pieces! _Tracing circles on the floor with my finger, I slowly pull myself together. I tell myself that I'll have to mention it to L after the meeting.

After watching the anime, I know how he sounds to them: his voice twisted to a higher pitch, robotic and inhuman. I shudder slightly at the seriousness of the story I've been placed in. I begin to slowly braid sections of my hair, attempting to calm myself.

Unknowing to my inner turmoil, L has continued on. Meanwhile, I analyze everything I hadn't been able to when I had simply watched the anime. He's so sure of himself, speaking much more fluidly than to anyone at Wammy's. _There's no hesitation, only an extreme sense of confidence; there's no question of whether or not he truly feels that he's in his element._ However, I also notice that the muscles of his back is tense under his shirt; subtle but noticeable. Any thought of sweets is entirely forgotten; all of L's attention is solely on this meeting. _He may feel like he's in his element, but almost like… it's only because he has to be._ My eyes widen as I realize that I'm witnessing a side of L the anime never showed: _He's nervous._

His speech is interrupted when two men in the audience stand. The man who I know must be Matsuda bumbles an intelligent. "Huh?" into his headset before a man with glasses, a glare bouncing off of them, Souichiro Yagami, speaks a tad more eloquently. After asking something about 'Japan'.

Knowing where this conversation will go, I turn to look at out the window, into the dark night. I freeze, my hands stopping midway through my fifth braid. If I hadn't seen the character over and over again, I would have screamed. Even so, seeing the animated version versus the real life creature in front of me was a very different story.

_RYUK!_

Just outside the window, eerily lit by the laptop, flies the incredibly tall and lanky shinigami. The grey skin that frames his face is just barely visible in the dark, making me shiver at its similarity to the grey hallucination I had experienced a while before. Huge yellow eyes practically fall out of their sockets as he waves at me. Smiling his needle-sharp smile, he points at the roof; an inescapable invitation. I nod. More city lights are blotted out as he spreads his wings and flies higher.

I stand quietly, knowing that I must go quickly. _Whatever's going on, I need to find out fast. I don't like how quickly this is deviating from the original story…_ Spotting a room key on the table beside the couch, I snatch it. Ignoring the fact that I have no shoes, I walk quickly to the door.

L's eyes flicker up to me; I silently point to the roof, waving my hand that holds the room key. Not waiting for an answer, I pull the door open, momentarily flooding the room with light, before closing it behind me.

I open the door to the roof, shuddering as a strong breeze smacks my face. My hair blows back from my face, almost begging me to retreat from the deadly supernatural entity before me. Clutching my arms behind my back, I pray that the night is dark enough for Ryuk not to see my arms. My bare feet pad slowly across the roof to stop in the center.

Ryuk is huge. He looms over me, larger than life. Looking down on me, his dangerous smile widens. A singular silver heart earring swinging in the wind as he begins to speak, "I'm speaking to you directly from the Shinigami King himself, so listen up!" I refuse to flinch at him, although I'm frightened by the idea that the Shinigami King even knows of my existence, let alone wishes to speak to me.

His eyes don't blink, "This is before my time, so you'll have to take the Shinigami King's word for it. You see, there used to be only one world. However, the Shinigami King grew as bored as the rest of his shinigami men. He decided that he would split the world into 2. One would continue life as normal, having no involvement of the Death Note." Ryuk straightened up slightly, bringing a pointed finger to his still grinning mouth. His expression looks vacant, giving him an appearance of stupidity, "In fact, I remember this part. There's one area of the Shinigami world where we aren't even allowed to set foot in, let alone look down upon it." Coming out of his thought, he lowers his hand before looking back down at me, "In any case…"

"The other became this world, where the shinigami could involve themselves as much as they want. They drop their notebook into this world and visited as much as they like. In fact," I shudder as Ryuk's smile twitches up on one side, almost suggestively, "Your friend downstairs is a product of a notebook's meddling."

The wind whips around my pants, my shirt seeming to almost rip off of my frame. I shudder in the night air, sure that my chill has less to do with the cold and more to do with the fact that Ryuk knows about L.

Ryuk waves a hand in front of his face, "Don't worry about your friend, I'm speaking at this point from the Shinigami King. I don't know your friend and don't plan on telling Light anything about him."

_Although I know that Ryuk is dangerous, I know he isn't a liar_. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"You see, there was an incident quite a while ago that involved a different Death Note. I won't go into details, but 'Wammy's House', as I'm told it's called, was created in order to deal with the phenomena."

My throat burns with a million questions about the incident, but I hold my tongue. _If I want to know his true purpose in coming, I can't distract him. Who knows if L will come looking for me. _I nod, a silent invitation for him to continue.

Ryuk's teeth flash in the light of the city, "In any case, the two worlds still collide at certain times: primarily during sleep. The King created a time loop so that this story would appear in a person's dreams in the world without Death Note. That person became the author of the story and it's how you learned of it." Ryuk pointed almost accusatorially at me.

"As you can tell, he's been planning this event for a long time. You were brought to this world because the King wanted to see if someone who knew the story would be able to change it's fate. He's seen every event that has or will happen in both worlds separately, but has never crossed them. You're the first and only true experiment."

I feel myself begin to boil with fury at the gall of the Shinigami King. _How dare he mess around with people's lives like they're his favorite toys!_ Ryuk stops his explanation, amused at my inner turmoil. I bite my lip, _Calm down! If you don't play by his rules, he could kill you in a moment. You won't be able to save L like this…_ This thought sobers me, bringing my emotions down to a simmer.

Ryuk continues to smile at me, "Very wise." I glare up at him, feeling a sudden urge to strangle the god of death.

He continues, "The Shinigami King has come to the decision that the up keeping of 2 worlds is too bothersome. Therefore, after this loop of the story, he'll be combining the 2 worlds once again. I won't explain how events and the descendants of people will fit together because you won't understand."

I stiffen, fingers curling into fists as I grow angry again. _Thousands of lives may be lost when the King combines the worlds, all because he just doesn't want to continue taking care of them any more. He started this mess, now he'll take no responsibility?! That means that the events regarding previous Death Notes will have occurred in my world?_ My braids whip across my face as my gaze burns up at the shinigami, willing him to say one more thing to irate me further.

Ryuk continues quickly, attempting to calm me, "Either way, once this event is over, no more Death Notes will be allowed to fall into the one world. No more of this will happen."

_Can he read my mind? I suppose it doesn't matter if he can, I can't stop it,_ I think bitterly.

Ryuk raises his incredibly long arms into a kind of shrug, "You can choose to sit out this story and go back to your family when the worlds collide, safe and sound. Or you can get involved, risk your life, and, if you manage to save your friend, be with him as a happily ever after, no strings attached. Even if you fail to save him and you live, you'll still be able to return home."

I think about his proposition, _In either case, it's better than I expected. I could come out on top of this almost any way I slice it. Well, that is if I don't die, of course. But knowing the story by heart does give me quite the leg-up in making this work. In fact, I wonder if I can get a bit more out of this…_

I look up at Ryuk, who awaits my answer. "But how am I supposed to try to make this entertaining for the King if I can't even speak this country's language?" I ask innocently.

Ryuk smiles at me, making me wonder if he doesn't know exactly what I'm trying to do, "Don't worry about that. We've been speaking Japanese during this entire conversation. You'll be able to switch back and forth at leisure."

I clap a hand to my mouth, feeling slightly violated that the King had suddenly placed a language inside my brain in no time. Swallowing down my distaste, I attempt another request, "I know that I can't tell my friend everything about this case, it would be too much like cheating, I suppose. However, he was the one who found me when I was brought to this world, it's been incredibly confusing for him and my other friends. Is there any way I can tell them about how I came to be here and what will happen after this case is solved?"

Ryuk shakes his head, silver heart flying, "If you do that, then you would have to tell him of the Death Note. You'll find you won't be able to even if you try. The King's been planning this entertainment for a long time now; a human won't be able to stand in his way." I look down, knowing that he's right. "But-" I look up, hopefully. "Once your friend figures out about the Death Note, you may tell ONLY about how you came to be here and about what will happen after the case. You won't be able to recite the story to him or tell him directly who the culprit is. Either way, that situation won't happen for quite a while."

I relax slightly, seeing that I could eventually tell him.

Seeing my reaction, Ryuk smile widens eerily, almost reaching to his ears, "So you may tell him all about it when he discovers the notebook, that is-"

I jump back as his wings snap open from his back. The black feathers cover any stars I could have seen. He laughs in a kind of wheeze, leering down at me, "If you can keep him alive for that long."

I fall to the ground as the wind from his wings knocks into me during his take-off. My hair whips back from my face as I see his form growing smaller and smaller.

I stand up, clenching my fists as emotions course through me. Rage at the Shinigami King's casual attitude towards human life, fury that I'm being used as a kind of piece in a game, longing to go back home, desperation to save L's life…

I stare out over the city as the sky slowly glows brighter. _The sun will rise soon._

I look up, catching sight of a particularly bright star in the twilight.

My eyes narrow.

_Game on._


	16. Chapter 16 - Emotion VS Logic

**Author's Note:** Sorry that the chapters are popping up a bit sporadically. If you didn't see the announcement regarding the continuation of this story, see the Author's Note on the previous chapter. ANYways, this is a REALLY intense chapter! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 16**** \- Emotions VS Logic**

I slide the key into the door slot, stepping quietly into the room. Although I'm still wearing my black pants, my arms are lined with goosebumps. I shiver as the door clicks closed. I stand there staring at my feet, back against the door, thinking about my encounter with Ryuk, _I doubt he'll say anything to Light, he never helped him in the anime. But no matter how much the Shingami King wants this to be entertaining, I've got to be careful regarding how much I step in. If I change the story too much, there's no way I can predict the consequences. _My heart clenches as a haunting thought crosses my mind, _If I screw up, I may just end up getting L killed faster! But if I do nothing, he'll die anyway. Either way, I'll end up with my family… but…_ My jaw clenches, _but I can't go back without L!_ I clench my fists at my sides, _I won't let him die! _

"Are you alright?"

My head whips up to find myself face to face with L himself. I tilt my head back a little in order to see his eyes. He's relatively well lit by the harsh light of his laptop and a television. The television plays the news on mute, flashing colors on L's pale face and shirt. I stiffen, _I know this part! He's going to contact Kira for the first time this evening!_ My suspicions are confirmed as I see that L looks a bit concerned for me, but I see that his eyes are a bit fuzzy, like the wheels in his head are turning on a matter elsewhere.

I force myself to smile, "Yeah! I just needed to get some air after my attack. The sky's really quite beautiful."

L lifts a hand from his pocket and reaches forward. I curiously watch as he picks up a lock of my unbraided hair, "And quite windy as well, apparently." This statement is simply too out of character: I laugh. Apparently it's contagious because even L lets out a chuckle. With that one sound from him, I feel like I can shrug off my attack and Ryuk's grim visit without any trouble at all. After a moment, L takes his hand back, looking down at it. Knowing that he's not one for physical contact, I'm just as confused as he is regarding why he even touched my hair in the first place.

Trying to shake off the looming awkward silence, I point at the television and say, "What's that for?"

"Oh?" L looks back over a hunched shoulder, "That's for my plan. I'm going to attempt to contact Kira."

Although I already knew about this, I need to act surprised. I lean forward, a few ratty tangles slipping over my shoulders, "What? So soon? I that more people will die the longer you wait, but this plan is happening awful fast!"

L shuffles towards his laptop, "Plans always happen faster than anticipated. Be assured, I've thought this through many times. I know what I'm doing." He plucks a round cheerily-blue colored candy with his pointer finger and thumb out of a bowl that lays next to his laptop and drops it in his mouth. _Clearly he's not worried._

I follow him part-way, placing my hands on the back of the couch. As my eyes lazily gaze at the television screen, I think not about what I should say, but what I need to say. _Anyone who saw his meeting with the ICPO would be curious as to the outcome._ "So did the Japanese Police Force agree to help you?"

L looks at a round red candy, almost like he's searching for imperfections, before eating it. Speaking through the candy, he says, "Yes, they've been very helpful. By the way, how do you know Japanese?"

Granted that he asks this in a simply curious tone and not a suspicious one, I still stiffen, _I've got to stop saying suspicious statements!_ Not truly lying, I reply, "Back in America, I was obsessed with Japanese television _(I know I can't say animes, that would hint towards his own show)_ and the culture. I wanted to be an illustrator in Japan so I taught myself Japanese."

He takes in the information, eyes still shifting back and forth from screen to screen, "I'm glad you did, we won't have to worry about translation." He turns back to look at me, usually dull eyes sparked with interest, "How well can you speak Japanese?"

I shrug, choosing to switch my language, "Well I haven't had much time to actually converse with anyone in Japanese. So I suppose that I'll have to wait and see, won't I?" I flash a cheeky smile at him.

L smirks at me, but doesn't comment on my joke, "You're very good, you sound like you were born in Japan."

I pick up the hem of my red shirt, holding it delicately with the tips of my fingers, pinkies up. I mock curtsey, head almost hitting the back of the couch, "You're too kind!" There's a silence before L laughs softly. Meanwhile, my mind is reeling, _I can't believe I'm having this conversation with L! He almost never smiled in the anime and here he's laughing and having casual conversation like he's known me for years! Someone can joke and laugh with L, who knew? _As I straighten, my rat's-nest hair hits my face. _Ah… Yeah, I've been in this same outfit since I left Wammy's House, that needs to change._

I smile as I begin to walk towards the bedroom door. I talk to him over my shoulder, "I'll be right back, I'm going to straighten out this ridiculous hair and shower." I hear a grunt in response and know that he's looking back at the screens again.

My smile fades as I come to a stop in front of the door. I reach my hand for the knob- and it stops a few inches away. My hand just stops. _Oh no, not this…_ I try to force my hand closer, but it just shakes, battling an internal struggle. I frown down at my hand, _It wasn't real, there's nothing in there! It'll be dark, but there's probably a light switch on the wall by the door. Come on!_ I stand for a few minutes, mind battling fear.

Two hands grip my bare shoulders. Before I can look at the owner, they pull me off to the right of the door. I'm turned around, back to the wall and the door, to see that it's L. Unsure of what he's doing, I begin to ask, "L-?" but he ignores me and walks in front of the door.

Without a word, he turns the knob, pulls the door open, and walks inside. A second later, light floods from the dark room, streaming into the dim room. I hear his feet shuffle through the carpet towards where I suppose is the bathroom. I can feel tears come to my eyes as I realize what he's doing, _He remembered. He remembered that I'm scared of the dark and knows that I can't possibly have gone in there._

I hear the click of another light switch. A few seconds later, the spiky-haired shadow looms in the hallway, growing ever larger. L emerges, hands in his pockets, like he does this everyday. L doesn't say a word about the ridiculousness of the world's greatest detective having to turn lights on. He doesn't say anything at all. He just pulls his left hand out of his pocket and rests it on my right shoulder. He smiles gently, in an understanding kind of way. My hunch-backed friend then walks towards his laptop, like nothing happened.

Although the urge to hug him is overwhelming, I don't want to make him uncomfortable with helping me. Instead, I hurry into the bedroom, raising a hand to make sure there aren't tears on my cheeks.

With the lights on, the bedroom actually looks quite charming. The bed is covered in a, now ruffled, blue comforter. The walls are a surprisingly pleasant sky blue; a plush white carpet cushioning my feet. A rich brown, round bedside table sits next to the bed. I slap a hand to my face when I see my gift bag and luggage sits just underneath it. In the panic of my attack, I had only barely missed it.

Placing my bag on the bed, I suddenly remember that Lady had said her gift for me was in my bag. I lay out my 2 other outfits on the bed. My jaw drops when I pull a beautiful mint green dress out of the bottom; underneath it are white leggings, an optional addition. It's beautiful, a sweet-heart neckline. Holding it up to myself, I see that it goes about to my knees. Lady had undoubtedly recognized my discomfort with short sleeves because this dress is long-sleeved. Up the right flies a dragon made of white beads, making it's way towards my shoulder where it's mouth opens to breathe shades of beaded green fire down the long right sleeve.

I sharply inhale much needed oxygen, _It-it's so beautiful! This is too much, FAR too much!_ I hurriedly lay the dress on the bed, feeling that I'm somehow dirtying it. I notice that on the folded leggings lay 2 pars of earrings: both are teardrops, but one pair is mint green (clearly for the dress), while the other pair is ruby red. I smile, _I used to wear earrings all the time at home._

Resigning to talk to Lady as soon as I can, I decide to wear my red skirt and sleeveless black shirt. I find my new fingerless gloves and add it to the ensemble. After taking my hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc out of the bag, I decide last minute to grab the red teardrop earrings.

The bathroom is a standard hotel bathroom, all white tile and white appliances. Locking the door, I reluctantly pick up the hairbrush. Sighing, I get to work. First I have take the braids out of my hair. Luckily, those sections of my hair weren't affected by the wind, so those are brushed through easily enough; the rest is a different story. After about 5 minutes of hard work, my hair falls in frizzy waves.

Sighing in relief, I disrobe. I carefully put the die necklace on the pile of clothes for my next outfit. I fold all of my dirty clothes and put them in a separate pile. Grabbing a fluffy white towel, I hop into the shower.

As the water pounds my back, I think about what I'm going to do about my feelings for L. _I fell in love with him so fast… How is that possible? Although I'm trying to save his life, I need to remember that other people's lives are at stake. If I keep thinking like this, I'm going to make mistakes and other people will die._ I use a hand to comb through my soaked brown-red hair, sighing. _Either way, he's L, Mr. Unemotional, Mr. Logical… This isn't a romance anime, the seemingly uncaring guy won't make an exception for you._ I lay my forehead against the cool tile, _He may be kind to me, but he could never love me._ Although the though makes my stomach drop, I ignore it, scrubbing the generic hotel soap into my hair.

The rest of the day is spent sketching in my new sketchbook. I'm incredibly nervous for L's first broadcast, but there's nothing I can do, so I distract myself. Unfortunately, there isn't much to draw in the hotel room (I blush at the thought of drawing L, so I quickly dismiss it). I sit myself at a window, opening the blinds just enough to get a view of the city, twist my hair up into the hair clasp, and begin to sketch. Apparently this was an ambitious decision because I'm busy all day.

Watari had returned not long after I had come into the main room. He checked in with L for anything he might have needed before getting some sleep.

Around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, Watari approaches me, "Could you come with me please?" I look at L whose eyes dart to mine. Thumb to his lips, he simply shrugs at me, but I can see a smile on his lips. I stand to follow Watari, who walks towards the kitchenette. Before I go, I stare at L before pointing my pointer and middle finger at my eyes before jabbing them in his direction. _I'm watching you…_ He smirks.

On the counter of the kitchenette counters lay bread, various meat and condiments. I turn to Watari with a questioning look. He looking down at me through his glasses, "During my last call to Wammy's House, the boys informed me of your eating habits or," he pauses, "lack thereof. Although Near informed me you like peaches, they all agree that you need to eat more than a peach every now and then. Therefore, I've been put on watch duty for you."

My jaw slams open. I splutter nonsense for a few moments, unable to think. I finally manage, "They what?! I-What?! You already take care of L, I don't need to be baby-sat!"

Watari smiles, "They told me you'd say that. Mello told me to tell you, and I quote, 'Well apparently you do, moron!' So I'll be keeping an eye on you. There's plenty of things here to make a simple sandwich, so feel free to do so." Without another word, he turns to another counter, stirring what looked like cake batter.

My jaw hangs open for a minute or two longer, probably catching flies, before I sigh and resign myself to my fate. Not wanting to dwell on the fact that I'm being watched by 3 children miles away, I quickly arrange a turkey sandwich and hurry back to my window perch.

I continue sketching for a while, sandwich remaining untouched. I hear someone clear their throat behind me. Turning, I see L staring at me. He's crouched in front of his laptop on the floor, delicately holding a teacup full of, what I assume, is coffee. The sugar bowl is empty, so I know his beverage is plenty sweet. He sips it before speaking, "You should probably eat that."

I cock my head to the side and put a finger to my cheek, feigning curiosity, "Hey L, do you ever brush you hair?"

L's wide eyes don't break contact with mine as he slightly lowers his teacup, "Nice try, but Watari will be calling Wammy's House later." I turn to grumpily mutter at the sandwich when I hear, "And yes I do brush my hair occasionally." I snicker, my mood considerably brightened. I reluctantly eat my sandwich and continue sketching until the inevitable.

I just finish drawing a particularly difficult balcony across the street when L speaks up, "Watari, can you please turn the television onto the news?" I turn around. L sits in front of his laptop, leaning towards the screen. The microphone is back out, perched in front of him. His teacup is gone, as is the bowl of candies. My breath catches in my throat, _It's happening._

I quickly stand, rolling down the blinds so that the room is only lit by the laptop screen. Uneasy, I hurry over to L. Not wanting to distract him, I quietly sit down at his side, making sure not to touch him. My legs lock one over the other and I lean my elbows forward to rest on my legs. L's eyes don't move from the laptop; I'm not even sure if he knows I'm there.

"Certainly." Watari switches on the television. He then retreats to his ridiculously high-tech station of screens in a corner of the room.

I watch the television to see a very flustered ordinary looking news reporter in a brown suit shuffling papers. "We'd like to apologize for the interruption. As of now we're bringing you a live world wide broadcast from Interpol, ICPO." It's difficult to hear him because people walk past him in the background, talking on phones, shouting things across the office. Seeming to remember that the camera's still on and millions of people are watching him, he continues, "We now take you live to the ICPO."

The screen flashes before revealing a smartly dressed man with almost shoulder-length black hair. He resides behind a desk in front of the ICPO symbol. In front of him sits the name tag: LIND L. TAILOR. It seems I can't breathe as he speaks, "I head up an international police task force which includes all member nations. I am Lind L. Tailor, otherwise known as L."

My head whips around to L (who doesn't acknowledge me), eyes wide. _I forgot that L basically sacrifices this man on television! I know that he's a convict and was going to die today anyway, but… this just isn't right! He's already getting too reckless! _Knowing that I can do nothing to stop this since I'm not supposed to have knowledge of it, I turn back to the television.

Lind L Taylor continues, "Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to be the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down, I will find you."

Since I already know what he's going to say, I listen to the tone of his voice and watch his face. _I can tell that this isn't real. There's no passion behind his words, it sounds rehearsed. I guess it really does rattle Light if he doesn't notice that…_ Thinking back to Death Note, I remember that Light is boasting to Ryuk as Taylor speaks, seemingly unconcerned.

"Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be and I can guess what you hope to achieve. However, what you are doing right now is evil." I stiffen at the word 'evil'. _Wrong thing to say, you've pushed Light's biggest button!_ I close my eyes for a moment, _You might have lived if you had just stopped after declaring who you are and your intentions…_

I begin to nervously play with the red hem of my skirt, my other hand fiddling with the ruby-red earring. I can practically feel Light's fury after Taylor smiles confidently. My heart hammers louder and louder in my ears, I'm sure I can hear the screech of Light's pencil carving Taylor's name into the deadly notebook. I can almost count down the seconds…

"OH! Taylor clutches at his chest, fingers practically tearing into his suit over his heart. His back arches and he throws his head back in agony. My hand flashes from my ear down over my own heart, clutching my chest in sympathy. He collapses.

After the poor man is removed, a gothic 'L' appears on the television screen. L, who hadn't moved the entire time, turns on his microphone. I watch him warily.

L's breathless as he speaks into the microphone, eyes wide with shock, "I had to test this just in case but I, I've never thought it would actually happen! Kira, it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it." L seems to collect himself because his voice goes back to it's slow, deep monotone, "Listen to me, Kira. If you did indeed kill Lind L. Tailor, the man you just saw die on television, I should tell you that he was an inmate, whose execution was scheduled for today. That was not me." I can hear a slight tone of relief in his voice as he says this last statement.

I notice that the hand that isn't on the microphone had been gripping his left knee tightly. He now loosens this hand, getting into the swing of his act, "The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you wouldn't have heard about him on TV or through the internet. It appears not even you have access to information about these types of criminals."

I hiss in my mind, _Stop goading him on! The madder you make him, the worse this situation gets!_ The only thing stopping me from yanking on L's shoulder to stop this is that I know this is necessary. Instead, I focus on slowly tucking bits of my skirt underneath my legs.

L continues, seeming to get more excited, "But I assure you L is real. I do exist. Now try to kill me."

I think that my heart stops. _I totally forgot… He pretty much tries to sign a death wish! _Even though I know Light can't kill him, I try to reach over to him. My hand freezes up again before I can touch him. My eyes widen as I realize what's stopping me, _It's the tone of his voice…_ _That's not the L I know! _

L doesn't notice me, having eyes only for the laptop. He continues to speak into the microphone, his voice growing more excited until he's practically shouting into it, "What's wrong? Hurry up! C'mon, right now!"

I can't help myself, I inch backwards towards the couch. _What is he doing? I know what's going to happen, but for all he knows, he could die and he doesn't even care!_ I grit my teeth, the hand over my heart clenching into a fist.

I shudder as he shrieks, "What are you waiting for? You've got to do it! COME ON! TRY TO KILL ME!" The air seems so still as L finally takes a breath. His hunched shoulders relax slightly beneath his white shirt. I release a breath I wasn't aware I had trapped within me.

I can practically feel the smugness oozing off of L, "What's the matter? Can't do it? Well, Kira, it seems that you can't kill me after all." His voice gets quiet, very quiet, "So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. Let me return the favor. I'll tell you something I think you'll find interesting."

L begins to talk fast, growing more and more eager, "Although this was announced as a worldwide broadcast, the truth is, we are only broadcasting in the Kanto region of Japan. I had planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it looks that won't be necessary."

When L smiles this time, it isn't a pleasant one. This is a predatory smile, "I know where you are."

L slows down his speech, as if teaching a class. He begins to explain how he knows about Kira's first victim and the rest of his evidence of Kira's location. Meanwhile, I turn to look at Watari, a pleading look on my face. I silently scream at him, _YOU'VE GOT TO STOP THIS!_ Watari cooly meets my gaze evenly. Inside of those eyes, I can see a hardness, a wish to save the child he raised… yet the knowledge that he can't. He sternly shakes his head at me. I stare at him for a moment longer before I relax my face, donning an expression of understanding; I nod at him

I slowly turn back to L in time to hear, "Naturally I'm very interested to know how you are able to commit these murders without being present, but I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you. Let's meet again soon, Kira."

White fuzz overtakes the television screen. I clutch both arms around myself as I hear the words that every Death Note fan knows by heart. I know that Light is saying his own version of the same words at the exact same time. L speaks to himself, facing the now blank screen. "Kira, I will hunt you down wherever you're hiding and I will eliminate you." L's voice reaches a crescendo,"I AM JUSTICE!"

I back into the couch, forcing myself to sit down. My eyes are wide, staring at the man in front of me, _Who am I with? Am I sitting in the same room as Light Yagami? Or am I sitting in the same room as my close friend whom I've trusted my secrets with?_

After a few minutes, L sighs and closes the laptop. He gets to his feet and stretches his arms over his head, as if nothing's happened. He shoulders hunch back over and he places his hands in his pockets. I continue to stare at him as he turns around. Seeing my expression, L blinks a few times, "Is something wrong?"

I feel emotion boil inside of me, steadily rising. "Wrong?" I whisper. I snap, leaping to my feet, "IS SOMETHING WRONG?"

Both L and Watari stare at me in shock at my outburst, but I continue anyway, "Of COURSE something's wrong!" My arms reach out in a questioning motion, "Why couldn't you keep the knowledge of where Kira is quiet? Telling him you have this knowledge tells him nothing, does nothing but feed your ego!" I point at him when I say this.

There's a moment of silence when L simply stares at my pointing finger, a dark figure against the fuzz of the television. He then blinks and looks at me through half-lidded eyes. With seemingly exaggerated patience, he replies, "We need to get him rattled. If he knows there's a threat, he's bound to make mistakes. As for my ego, what's an ego if no one knows who I am?"

"But everyone KNOWS who you are! They don't need a face, they have the legacy of your name! That's what you were feeding!" Swallowing down the urge to throttle him, I unclasp my hair. I run a hand through the locks as I continue, "Look at what this case is doing to you already! You realize you just killed a man? Yes, I know that you need to gather information, but you just threw someone on the chopping block. Whether he was destined to die or no, _you_ essentially made a decision that Kira would have made himself. What's the difference between you two?"

L narrows his eyes, "The difference is that I'm trying to catch a mass murderer. He's forcing his own ideals onto society."

My fingers splayed out, I whip my arms down in frustration, "But you're both doing the same thing! I- You know what? Nevermind." I put a hand to my temple, _I'm not going to get anywhere with him regarding 'justice'._ Instead, I reclip my hair back into place before speaking, "What if he could kill you with just the knowledge of the name 'L'? You didn't know anything at all about his abilities, what if you had died? Who will solve this if you die now?"

L shrugs, nonchalant, "My successors, of course."

I freeze.

My voice becomes dangerously quiet. I begin to stalk forward, "You mean to tell me that you, a genius of an adult, no, of a human being… would push those _children_ to the hangman's noose? Those kids who look up to you like you're _God?_ You would put them into danger like that?!"

I'm now standing in front of L, huffing and puffing up in his face. We're only about a foot apart. I then hold my breath, furiously awaiting a response.

The hands in in his pockets clench into fists. He looks down at me through his black hair, eyes narrowed. I feel my insides twist into knots; no where, not in any visual in the anime or manga has the author been able to make L look this threatening, "No, which is why I will do everything and anything to stop him."

I exhale in relief, _I was worried that for a moment he was too much like Kira, but he definitely has a human soul…_ I close my eyes, putting a hand to my heart, "Thank God." My expression softens, but I'm still extremely serious. I sigh, look down at the floor. I murmur, "Did you ever think about what it would have been like for me to sit next to my best friend and watch him fall down dead?"

I hear his breath hitch; I look up at him. Whatever expression was on his face, whether it was surprise or not, is gone. His face is stony, uncaring. He says in a cold voice, "If you're going to let emotions get in the way, then perhaps you don't belong on this case." He looks pointedly at my gloved hands, "Clearly it's gotten in the way before."

Silence.

Blood drains from my face, my mouth opens slightly, my stomach drops to the floor.

Before anyone can say or do anything, my hand whips out and strikes his face. His head jerks to the side, his black hair flying.

I can't see his eyes as he turns slowly back to me. My arms are at my sides, fists clenched. My teeth are gritted, eyes narrowed with unshed tears.

I see his mouth open slightly, but I don't care. _I need my friends._ I run to the next best thing. I sprint into the bedroom, picking up my gift bag. Coming back into the living room, I find L standing exactly as he was when I left him. I pick up my sketching equipment, stuff it in my gift bag, and sprint out the door.

After closing the door, I climb the stairs to the roof.

Not one tear falls.


	17. Chapter 17 - Hero Or The Villain?

**Author's Note:** I just realized that the ***s I was putting to separate the story weren't showing up, so if you see s, that's why they're there. Also I realize that the details are kind of lacking so when I finish this story (which won't be for a while, don't worry), I'll rewrite more details into it. So, we left off on quite the cliffhanger! Time to see what M decides to do, so read on! ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 17****\- Are You The Hero Or The Villain?**

I clutch the red fabric of my skirt in one hand, my gift bag in the other as I pound up the stairs. I'm not sure how many stairs I've climbed, but it isn't enough. I need to get away, further away from the cruel words that bounce around the inside of my skull. Blackness is quickly eating away at the edges of my vision, the world beginning to sway. Every step sends vibrations through my head, building into waves that crash against any sense of balance that I have. I don't allow myself to stop, shaking my head (which probably does more harm than good), _No, I don't care, I don't care!_ I stumble into the railings a few times before I finally spot my solace in the door that lies just ahead of me. I burst out onto the open roof.

My hair whips back, the wind twisting it into knots again, but I don't take note of it. My skirt whips around my legs as I inhale deeply, praying that the fresh air will clear away the darkness that creeps ever closer. I know that the cause is the stress from fighting with my best friend, the man I lo- _NO! Don't even think it!_ I lean against the strong support of the doorway, clutching my hands to my head. I screw my eyes shut, sliding down to a crouch, _You were alone for years without a best friend-_

Memories flash before me: A hand as white as porcelain catches mine, drawing me to a stop in front of the towering gate of Wammy's House. Its owner is standing behind me, his hunched figure so close that his black hair caresses my cheek. "Where do you think you're going?"

_-without a romantic interest- _

I hold my breath as he looms closer to me, gray eyes meeting mine. A spark of mischief appears in them as he asks me what the 9th letter of the alphabet is &amp; I unknowingly open my mouth to accept a strawberry.

_-you don't need him! _

Axel loops an arm around Mello's shoulders, shrieking in his ear. All of the children on the lawn laugh at the poor leather-clad teen's distress, but only I truly notice the antisocial insomniac's shoulders shaking gently. His laugh is soft, but genuine; I smile at him, hoping that the moment never ends.

_You don't care! _

The A key rings out, a single white finger resting upon it as I open the door to my past. I talk about the pain and the solitude, sitting next to the silent man. The room is lit only by the light of the hallway, barely slipping through the cracked door. Only a few striking features are visible to me: his angular face, the outline of his wild hair, everything still as stone while he listens to my horrors.

I fall to my knees, the blood-red mass of fabric pooling around me. My gift bag drops to the ground as I raise my gloved hands to clutch at my head. My eyes stare through my bare fingers, my pupils vibrating from side to side, seemingly at the speed of light. I try to focus on one spot on the ground, trying to steady myself, _You don't care what he thinks-_

I finally rise from my conscious nightmare, the eyeless monstrosity finally fading away. Once meaningless words suddenly take on meaning. My head whips up from my bare arms to meet a dark pair of eyes. His precious sweets lay forgotten as he studies my, trying with everything he has to understand. The raven-haired detective crouches on the floor in front of me as I have a panic attack, doing everything he can to understand why.

_-so any betrayal means nothing! _

The tall, hunched man strides out of the now bright room. With a small act, he chases away one of my largest challenges like he does it everyday. No words are exchanged, he simply places a comforting hand on my shoulder before walking away.

_You don't care!_

"Hell, I used to step in front of those being abused and take it for them. I would do it in a heartbeat for any of you; I won't hesitate if I need to." Hugs are even rarer to me than physical contact. The same can be said, if not more so for him. However it doesn't seem to be the truth as he holds me to him, a flash of unreadable emotion darting through his eyes. I'm so small compared to him that his entire body seems to shield me from everything. "You won't have to. Not again. Not ever." I stand in L's embrace as he tells me that I'll never be alone again.

The spot I stare at is the only think I can see now, **_You don't care!_**

The mop of black hair hides his eyes as he turns slowly back to face me. I can see the red mark like fire on his cheek, but he doesn't raise a hand to it. His jaw is slack, mouth opening slightly. He doesn't seem surprised at my act, but… hurt nonetheless. He stands stock still as I sprint out of the hotel room, alone.

Darkness.

When I wake, it's extremely dark. I almost think that I'm still unconscious. Although my head lays on the ground, I can see the lights of the city glowing over the side of the roof. I slowly pick myself up, clutching my head. _Luckily I was close enough to the ground where I didn't really get hurt… _

The memory of my argument with L comes back full force and I almost panic again. Since I'm better prepared, I force myself to inhale, taking in all of the nervous energy and senseless anxiety- and letting it out with my breath. Refusing to think about that the problem at hand until everything's sorted and accounted for, I reach for my gift bag and take the hair clasp out of it. I methodically pin my now tangled hair up in the usual style. I make sure that nothing has spilled out of the bag before setting it down gently beside me. I pull my gloves as far up as they go, shuddering at the cause of the cruel words. I carefully adjust my red skirt as I sit with my back leaning against the doorframe, prepared to think the problem through.

_Okay… I need to accept the fact that I do care what L thinks._ My heart clenches in pain, so I trace the source. Since I have difficulty with emotion, I find that I need to think through my reactions more in order to figure out what exactly I'm feeling. _It's what he said, that he looked down at my self-abuse with such disdain. _I flinch and look down at my covered arms,_ Well… I suppose anyone would… It's a cowardly, awful thing to do, no matter the reason._

I lose myself to regret for a few moments before I shake myself out of it. I bring my knees up firmly to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. _Stop, now's not the time for me to feel sorry for myself. I'm not even sure why he said that! He was handling all of my problems so well, with no judgment at all. Think: why would he suddenly think poorly of my problems? _I draw my right hand up to my face, holding my chin between my thumb and pointer finger.

After going through a few different scenarios, I sigh, _I can't assume anything about L. If I've learned anything about him, it's that he's unpredictable. For all I know, his reasons could be the most obvious ones, but then again probably not._ Shifting my feet under my skirt, I decide I need to move on.

My hand moves from my chin down to Near's necklace. I feel a comfort in knowing that I have friends, even if they aren't right beside me. _I have to keep my mental status in mind as well. In the end, my anxiety always makes the worst qualities of a bad situation rocket up to become the end of the world. This problem probably isn't nearly as serious as I'm making it. _

As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know that I'm making excuses for L. I run a hand through my hair, making it fall loose from the clip, _I can't help it, I don't _want_ him to be the bad guy. I don't want this case to turn him into a monster. If he's a monster already, I probably would refuse to notice._ My heart sting a bit, _Still, I can't avoid the fact that what he said really was awful, no matter the reason… _

I pick up my gift bag and rise. The wind feels more gentle now, the cool floor of the roof sends chills through my bare feet, traveling up my legs, through my spine, and shooting through my head. I shiver, _Either way, I know that I'm too aggravated to make a logical decision. We both said things out of anger which points to that L didn't truly mean what he said._ I feel a punch of guilt in my stomach. I look down at the floor, _I know I didn't mean it when I accused him of endangering his successors… _

Still feeling sad but not nearly as woozy, I slowly descend the stairs. My feet pad rhythmically on each step as I continue think, _I need to go for a walk, clear my head. Hopefully, when I get back, we can sort this out._

I stride down the sidewalk under the moon-lit sky. The street is relatively well lit, but I hurry past any alleyway that I come across. The closed shops are dark and shadowy, making me uncomfortable; however, for every shop that's dark, there are three more that are still bright and open. A gentle breeze curves its way around the buildings, slipping between the hurrying pedestrians. Although I'm barefoot, I don't mind. I rarely wear shoes and my feet have grown accustomed to the abuse.

It had been difficult to force myself outside. I'm unfamiliar with the country, unused to how busy and loud it is. I almost turned myself right around at the hotel doors when I heard the traffic. Unwilling to give up, I had forced myself through and kept an eye out for a quieter street away from the loud cars.

I've already been walking for a while now, about four blocks. Although the streets are relatively uncrowded (for Japan), there are far too many people. I keep looking back over my shoulder, just to check for anyone suspicious. I practically cling to the walls so that I don't go near anyone. I constantly battle the need to keep my eyes glued to the sidewalk so as to avoid eye contact and the anxious desperation to analyze everyone and everything for a hint of danger. I know that I'm drawing attention with my bare feet and long-gloved arms, but I try not to let it bother me. It doesn't work. _Being out here is more stressful than being in the same building as L! Maybe taking a walk wasn't such a good idea…_

My hands are free since I left my gift bag at the hotel. I hadn't returned to the room, of course, too afraid to face L. Instead, I handed it over the front desk to an elderly secretary. She had graying hair and a kind, wrinkled face. She handed me a sticky note when, staring at the ground, I had whispered if I could leave a message. I wrote that I would be back soon in English and placed it on the bag. Telling her the room number, I then managed to stutter a thanks, bowing awkwardly before departing.

Luckily, I find what seems like a quaint street of small shops with far less pedestrians. Although it isn't as well lit, I'm invited by the laughably tacky decor outside of most of the shops. _Clearly for tourists._ I breathe a sigh of relief when the noise of the busy streets dies down. My red skirt billows gently around my legs as I walk onward. Looking in some of the windows, I notice a convenience store, a toy store, but mainly (as I suspected) tourist-geared shops full of brightly colored merchandise. To my right, there's a low stone wall. Beyond the wall is a row of flowers before it becomes, what looks like, a wooded park. Due to the vegetation, I can't see very far into it but I can tell it's of decent size (for a Japanese city). I slowly approach a beaten path that winds from the sidewalk into the tall, shadowy trees.

_It feels nice to go on a walk again. I'm not sure how L stays cooped up for so long and not go insane… or maybe he _is_?_ I smile to myself, _But then again, aren't we all? _

Feeling much better, I steel myself to turn around and walk back to the hotel in order to confront L! I stop when I spot what looks like a flash out of the corner of my eye. Turning cautiously back towards the park, I see nothing. I feel a knot of suspicion in my stomach. My eyes narrow, _Something's not right._ I continue to stare at the trees until I'm almost convinced it was nothing- my eyes widen, _There it is!  
_  
A solid shadow moves through the trees, the glint on its person. It disappears into its fellow shadows and I begin to attempt to write it off as a hallucination. _Even if it was someone, the glint could be a lot of things! Car keys, a cell phone screen, glasses-_ I leap backwards, almost into the street, when a shriek rips through the air. It only lasts for a second, before it's silenced.

I feel a current of energy, almost like electricity, begin to shoot through my body. I tense up, preparing for combat. I look around desperately to find someone who has a phone to call the police, but the street is deserted (except for the occasional car). I grind my teeth in frustration; if my gloves weren't on, I'd have reopened the eight cuts from my fingernails. _It'll be too late if I go to a shop and ask for help! Whoever's in there could die if I don't act fast!  
_  
With someone else's life possibly on the line, there is no decision to be made: only what needs to be done. I re-twist my hair back up, clasping it firmly to my head; I quickly roll up my skirt so that it's hem reaches the halfway mark between my knees and feet. I tilt my weight forward onto the balls of my feet and silently dart into the darkness.

Although normally I fear the shadows, at this moment they become my greatest ally. I carefully pick my way across the grassy floor, keeping my back to each tree trunk. I'm trying to avoid the moonlight streaming through the leafs when I freeze at the sound of a gruff, smoky voice, "Now, just stay quiet and this will all be over soon." I slowly approach the source, knowing exactly what he means by 'over'. I can also distinguish muffled gasps, like they're fighting their way through a gag. Standing in the shadows of the towering branches, I oh-so-slowly peer around the trunk.

Fortunately for me, everything seems incredibly well-defined to my eyes, _probably from the fight or flight reflex._ Not 2 yards away stands a woman with dark hair to her shoulders wearing a nice white blouse and what looks like a dark gray pencil skirt, pinned against a tree. Her eyes are wide as she stares at her assailant who has a hand over her mouth. Tears glisten on her cheeks, more rolling down her face. Her hands grip at the bark of the tree at her side, her purse dropped at her feet. She doesn't move for fear the wicked blade of the 8" knife at her throat slice through her skin.

I can't tell many colors, but that doesn't matter. I quickly analyze her as best I can in what little light I have: _Approximately 32 years of age, about 5'6", clearly coming home late from work. I assume this was a short-cut, typically safe. From the bags under her eyes, she was too tired to be able to react to this situation quickly enough. Though no matter how exhausted she is, if I can get her away from him, she'll certainly run like hell. _

The smokey voice speaks again, "You're going to stay quiet or I'm going to carve you like a turkey." An ugly laugh shakes the man's frame, "Who knows? You might actually enjoy this, if you loosen up a little." I shudder angrily, but push the emotion aside in order to clear my head and gather information: _No mask, therefore confident that his plan will go off without a hitch. He's done this before, many times, which is why he isn't being wary. He's studied locations and times so that he can time when there won't be a lot of people around. Balding, sickly pale skin-_ "Now I'm going to take my hand off your mouth, but you aren't going to scream, are you? 'Cuz if you do, you're blood is going to cover the ground where you stand!" _Tattered coat and pants, living on what jobs he can find. Facial hair grown out a bit, hasn't shaved in a while. Approximately 38 years of age, about 5'8". He's incorrectly holding the knife which means he doesn't have combat training. The real problem is his size; he's heavily built. Surprise will be my only chance. _

A plan forming in my mind, I bend down silently and pick up a fist full of dirt from the base of the tree. I then stride through the shadows, sure to keep behind the man. Still holding the knife to her throat, he begins to rip her shirt down the middle, buttons flying. The silent tears come flowing down the poor woman's face in earnest as she witnesses the progression of what appears to be her rape and murder. I grit my teeth, _Just hang on! _

I dart forward, slamming the dirt up into the pervert's wide eyes; in the same stroke, I push the woman to the side, "RUN!" I expect the man to bring his hands up to his eyes (which is the natural reaction). As I predict, the man hollers in pain, both hands whipping up to clutch at his eyes. What I wasn't counting on was being too close when his hand holding the knife whips up.

I feel the cold metal slide up my rib cage on my left side. I gasp in surprise and pain; blood splashes the grass. I freeze in shock, looking down at my left arm. Although the fabric of my fingerless gloves is black, I can see the dark dots of blood covering my fingers and upper arm. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that the woman is sprawled on the ground, staring up at the scene. Incredibly frustrated, the ground almost quivers at the volume of my shout, "**I SAID RUN!**" And run she does, feet scrambling to find purchase on the slick grass, never to return.

Although the perpetrator is far from forgotten, I whip back just in time to get clipped on my left shoulder by his wildly swinging fist. I fall to the ground but quickly roll away, staining the grass beneath me. I leap to my feet, squaring off with the man who now stares at me with bloodshot eyes. "You bitch! You'll pay for that!"

Although my wound hurts, it cannot be my first priority at the moment. My knees bend, feet shoulder-width apart. _He won't be nearly as difficult to take down as L, if I play this right. I need to confiscate the weapon, get him on the ground. As long as he's towering over me, I don't stand a chance._ I ball my hands into fists and step back a bit; he advances.

He gives me an ugly sneer and I'm suddenly incredibly grateful that I'm not close enough to smell his breath, "Well, you're certainly prettier than she was, you'll just have to replace her!" I clench my teeth in anger, ready to fight to the death before he can even come close to touching me in the way he's thinking.

It turns out I won't have to.

The sound of a fist making contact is heard and the man's head snaps forward. Stunned for a moment, it doesn't take long for him to crumple to the ground. I can't help it, I step away from him with a look of disgust plastered to my face.

Surprised, I look up at my savior. It's a young man, probably a teenager, with short hair carrying a plastic bag. He stands at about 5'8", wearing a white button up shirt underneath a v-neck born sweater. Dark pants reach down to a pair of nice black shoes. He looks down at the filthy man with a similar look of disgust and fury.

My blood turns to ice.

Although I made a promise to myself that I would conquer this plot line, in that moment it becomes all too clear to me that I'm far from ready to face it.

Ryuk waves at me from behind the boy.

Light Yagami.

_Kira._


	18. Chapter 18 - Love The Way You Lie

**Author's Note:** Bet you didn't see that one coming! What will M do now, in face of the worst murderer the world's ever seen? Will she and L be friends again? I'm not sure if anyone saw my update to the story summary, but I'm also putting the story on tumblr account '_rewritinganime_'. On the actual account page, top left, there's a button for a menu. That's where you'll find the chapters. I put anything interesting from other animus on the account as well as answers to any questions posed to me about the writing process. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 18****\- Love The Way You Lie**

Light stares down at the felled man, breathing heavily. His fist is still out from his wicked knock-out punch. Even by the end of a fight, not a hair is out of place on his head.

Adrenaline still shooting through me, I scold myself: _I'm here to beat his game, I can't do that if I'm afraid of him! It's time to start the best acting job of my career. Go!_ Keeping the situation in mind, I slowly crouch down and pick up the knife. I then lean back against a tree to catch my breath. Blood seeps from between the fingers of my left hand. I can feel that it's nothing serious, I have more important things to worry about.

I stare at Light and make eye contact with him. I begin to think on overdrive, a wild idea coming to me, _What if I just kill him? I have the knife and even with my injuries I can still predict his moves! It could all be over… In just a matter of seconds, it could all be over!_ Before my hysterical mind can get away from me, I quickly give myself a mental slap, _What am I doing? I'm not that person! Just because I'm scared doesn't mean my morals are shot to hell! Plus, Light is a genius rivaled with L, he'll be able to predict all of my moves as well! _

"Are you alright?"

I accidentally tense up all of my muscles like a frightened rabbit, including the hand holding my side. I hiss, but reply, "Yeah, it's just a shallow cut. I'll live! There was a woman here before me who is probably traumatized but she had no injuries either." I give him a hopefully convincing smile.

Light looks me over, assessing the truth in my statement. Unable to see the full extent of my injuries, he has to take my word for it. He nods and smiles what I'm sure he thinks is a reassuring smile. To me, it's the farthest thing from, "My father's a police officer, I'll call him. We aren't very far from my house, so we should get help soon!"

Meanwhile, the gears in my are turning, _Why didn't he just use the Death Note instead of risking his life and revealing his face to me? _I shift my feet nervously, toes digging into the earth as I lean against the tree. I choke down a groan at my own stupidity, _He doesn't know this guy's name! He can't use the Death Note! As well, by this time in the series he's already hidden the Death Note at home, only carrying around a page at a time. Even if he did use the Death Note, there's still a chance someone would see him leaving the area and he would be suspected. _

A few locks of hair come loose from my earlier confrontation and swings in my face. I pull them behind my ear impatiently, unwilling to lose sigh of the mentally unstable teen, _Come on now, think of a plan! I have the perfect chance to become the least suspected out of those trying to find him! He'll eventually find out I know L, but if I play this just right, he won't target me. I have to be the thankful victim; I'll stop just short of worshiping the ground that my 'nameless savior' walks on._ I grit my teeth in disgust, but my course of action is set.

I let out a loud, shuddering breath, allowing my knees tremble. I drop the knife beside me and bring a hand to my heart, "Thank you for helping me! I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come by!" I force my eyes to become watery, giving him a look of unrivaled gratitude.

Ryuk has to hold in a cackle, still standing behind Light. I'm thankful of this because Light would mark the laugh as suspicious. Instead, Ryuk grins at me, wiping an imaginary tear of mirth from his eye.

Light puts his bag down before approaching the man. He speaks steadily, "I was at the convenience store getting a few things and heard screaming. It was no trouble really; I'm glad you're okay." _Liar_. Kneeling beside the guy, Light starts to gingerly fish through his pockets.

Unable to see me, he doesn't notice when my eyes narrow as I realize what he's doing: _He's looking for his wallet or another form of identification. He's looking for his name_. However, I know that if I don't continue to ask ditzy questions, it would be suspicious, so I speak up: "What are you doing?"

Not looking up at me, Light continues on his mission, brown hair falling in front of his eyes, "I need to find out who he is so I can tell my father. Maybe they police are already looking for him."

_Damn, that's a good excuse!_ I grit my teeth and struggle with the knowledge that only I have, _I can't do anything to stop him because that would be suspicious. The victim of an attack would want the guy behind bars and wouldn't get in the way._ Light pulls a thin wallet from the man's coat pocket. I clench my right hand into a fist and resist the urge to dart forward and smack it from his grasp, _I need to keep my cover or I won't be able to stop him._

Ryuk stares at me with his unblinking eyes, blue lips tightening across his teeth in a grin. The expression is clearly a challenge for me to try to stop Light.

I swallow down my pride and guilt as he looks over the ID card. I continue with my previous conversation, "Anyways, it was so brave to risk your life like that!" Light pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and begins to dial. "How can I ever repay you?" The words make me want to vomit, but I continue to remind myself that lives are at stake,_ including L's_.

Light holds the phone to his ear as it rings, "You don't need to, it was the right thing to do and that's good enough for me."

Before I can punch those fake words right out of him, he begins to talk to his father. I start to panic as a very serious thought comes across my mind, _I can't be discovered here! I need to leave before they try to find out who I am! L still hasn't formed the task force, they can't know that I trace back to him!_ Luckily, Light walks back towards the plastic bag he was carrying as he relays the information to the eldest Yagami. _Now! _

Without another word, I slip around the tree trunk I'm leaning against. I dig my bare foot into the grassy earth and push off towards the street, holding back a hiss of pain. I don't stop running until I reach the edge of the tree-line.

Trying not to crush the poor flowers, I reach the small wall that surrounds the park. Forgetting that I'm injured, I hop over it, red skirt flying,. I stumble a bit as the ground becomes unsteady; a few black dots lazily drift across my vision. _I'm not losing much blood, but it's enough with my weak system. I need to stop the bleeding somehow._

I blink up in the seemingly bright lights of the street. The black dots are far more pronounced, a few more joining the dance. I'm incredibly grateful that my shirt is black; it hides almost all evidence of the blood. Although the wound isn't serious, I can feel the thick red liquid oozing over my fingers, _I need to get back, I need to get back now! _

I begin my painful trek to the hotel; what was once a pleasant walk becomes a laborious journey. My left shoulder throbs, the cut on my ribs burns, my head pounds. I ignore the pain, focusing instead on the speed of my breathing. _If I can slow my heart rate, I won't bleed as badly. _I take a breath in through the nose and slowly out the mouth. I stare down, _Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot._

As I think about my injury, my foggy brain pulls up a detail I had neglected to catalog. I almost spin back towards the park in a panic: _The blood! I left so much DNA evidence back at the clearing! _Once again, I have to bring my anxiety down to a manageable level. When I do, I realize my stupidity and resist the urge to smack my forehead, _I never existed here, everything's untraceable! It's as good as useless to them, so calm down!_

I take a guess that it's around 11:30 at night, so not many people walk the sidewalks now, even on the busy streets. Those who are don't want to get involved, ignoring any blood they may see and continuing on their way. It's almost relatively quiet when a black car coasts smoothly to a stop at the curb a few yards in front of me. I pause, suspicious of the car's timing, _I am so not in the mood for this._

I breathe a sigh of relief when a calm Watari steps out of the car. I walk over to him. Once I reach him, I stand as upright as possible and await a scolding. The blood drips down onto the pavement as I wait, but no scolding comes. Instead, I hear only a voice of concern, "You are to return with me to the hotel immediately." Shivering at the knowledge of who gave the order, I quietly get into the passenger seat. Watari smoothly pulls into the street. He says in the same tone, "You'll find a first aid kit under your seat. Just patch yourself up as best you can until we get back in the room."

I'm so tired that I don't say anything, I just bend over to grab the box. I don't even squeak when the sting in my left side becomes a burn. I peer through the black dots (who had increased in number when I leaned over) to pick out a roll of gauze. I lift the bottom of my shirt to just above the cut, still covering my bra. Pinning the shirt under my arm, I take a patch of gauze and hold it to the cut in attempt to stop the bleeding. I avoid looking at the wound in case it's worse than I thought.

While I do this, Watari looks at me out of the corner of his eye. He sighs before speaking, "You are not to relay any of this to L." I look up, stunned that Watari would try to hide anything from L; I nod curiously. "Despite the… disagreement that you two had and however L tries to hide any emotions he may have, he's very worried. Ever since you left, he's been pacing, unable to sit and concentrate on the case. I even brought over a piece of his favorite vanilla cake with extra strawberries, but he did not touch it. I assume that you know he was watching you on street security cameras?" I already know this, but am surprised nonetheless when Watari confirms my theory. I nod again.

The grandfatherly man doesn't look away from the road as he goes on, "It was the only time that he would be still, when he watched you. L saw your behavior change outside of the park and watched as you sprinted in. He ordered me to take the emergency first aid kit and to come find you. The last thing he told me was to get you out of the dark."

I am completely stunned, jaw hanging open. After a moment, I snap it shut and quietly dab at the cut, "I don't count you as a liar, Watari, but I know that you would say anything to defend L. How do I know that's not what you're doing right now?"

We pull up in front of the hotel. As we coast to a stop, Watari catches my eye and holds my gaze, "You should believe me because I have never seen L act this way about anyone. Despite what it may feel like, you haven't known him for very long."

I let my black shirt fall back over my form, shuddering under the man's stern gaze, "Even I do not know everything about him. However, by now you should know that he doesn't say anything without a reason." Watari exhales, seeming to take on his real age before my eyes. His face relaxes and he smiles gently, "I know you aren't social yourself, but L has no idea what having a friend is like. Will you please try to understand him?"

I gaze at the pleading glint in Watari's eye. I just can't say no, _It probably helps that I _want_ to understand L…_ I nod firmly at him before smiling shakily, "I may need your help in figuring him out though."

Watari nods, a relieved smile blooming beneath his white mustache. He unlocks the door for me.

I step out of the car and, taking a deep breath, calmly walk into the building as Watari drives off to park the car. Not making eye contact with the new secretary on shift, I toss the bloody gauze in a trashcan before stepping into the elevator. I can practically feel L's eyes burning a hole in his laptop screen as he watches me via security camera. Knowing it's inevitable, I try to shrug it off. It doesn't work.

The elevator dings softly and opens its doors. I drag my feet as I walk slowly down the hall, the knot of nervousness in my stomach growing larger and larger. By the time I'm at the door to the room, it's choking me. _I meant to figure out how to confront him, but I didn't have time. Now he's probably angry and unwilling to listen._ I look down at my feet, half of my hair falling down around my shoulders, _I'm not sure what I can say that will get us anywhere…_ I sigh, resigned, and reach out for the doorknob.

Before I can touch it, the door flies open. I blink, eyes wide; before I can do anything, slender fingers reach out and clamp around my outstretched wrist. I'm yanked into the hotel room and the door slams closed.

I screech to a stop, head swimming from the sudden movement. I reach out for something to grab onto, beginning to fall. The hand around my wrist yanks me up; another arm snakes under my free arm and clutches my elbow firmly. The black dots whirl around my vision like wasps from a kicked nest. It takes quite a while for them to calm down and disappear. After I find some equilibrium, I look dizzily up out of instinct and wish I hadn't.

L's face is stony, no expression whatsoever. He doesn't blink, his jaw set. Despite all of these signs, I can tell that he's livid with anger. We stand in silence for a few moments, practically sharing the same oxygen; me wide-eyed and frightened from the entire night in general, L passive and furious.

L breaks the silence. His deep voice is quiet… dangerously quiet, "What happened?"

I furrow my brow in confusion, tilting my head slightly almost like a dog, "But-I- you were watching me, how do you not know?"

L's eyes narrow, "And how would I be watching if I'm here?"

I force my face to freeze so as not to give anything away while inside, I'm screaming in panic, _I'm about to give Watari away! Think back, think to anything you can mention that will cover this up!_ I raise my eyebrows in a disbelieving expression, "Really now, L, you had security feeds of cities on the monitors at Wammy's House. This case is probably the most difficult one you've come across, you really don't think I wouldn't know that you're tapped into the street cameras here, do you?"

L shifts his feet so slightly that I almost don't notice. If the situation was less serious and if we hadn't fought earlier, I feel like he would have smiled at my deduction. _However, we are in this situation._ His lips barely move as he answers, "You went into a wooded park, and there are no cameras there."

I almost feel like laughing nervously, _He must have been so frustrated when he lost sight of me. All deductions go out the window when you have no information._

I have no response to his statement and he doesn't seem to have anything to say at the moment, so we stare at each other in silence. A few minutes go by until we're interrupted by Watari quietly entering the hotel room behind me. Glancing at us both, he walks past us to his work area. L calls out to him, "Watari, please bring the medical equipment." Watari nods and picks up a much larger box than the first aid kit in the car.

I try to step backward, but L has my elbow and opposite wrist in a vice grip. Nonetheless, I begin to babble, "It's alright L, really! It's only skin-deep, I've had much worse! It went over my ribs so it bleeds a lot, but it's truly nothing! I'm perfectly fi-"

His voice is clipped when he interrupts me, "Now." Despite his pale skin, the black hair, black eyes, and black fury seem to make his entire form darken dangerously. He towers over me, making me feel smaller than I already am.

My throat closes up; I cannot fight the finality in his voice and eyes.. L releases me and allows his arms to dangle limply at his sides, waiting for me to show him my injury. Although my gloves are practically soaked in blood, I don't dare remove them. _Clearly he's tired of seeing my scars,_ I think bitterly. I hold the hem of my shirt, but hesitate. I look back up to meet L's eyes and see that he won't be backing down. I sigh, my shoulders sagging. I try to brace myself for his reaction as I lift my shirt up to just below my bra.

Thankfully, and surprisingly, the room is lit by 2 lamps as well as L's laptop and the television (which is on mute). Neither makes a sound as Watari and L look at the wound in the light. Curious now myself, I look down at the open wound. It's a good-sized cut, about 4-5" straight up my left side over the ribs. Speaking of my ribs, they stick out so much that the light sends harsh shadows across my skin. The blood is slowly clotting around it, crusting down my side. I wince, _Geez, the shadows and blood makes it look like something from a horror film! It really isn't that awful, it just _looks_ bad._

I look back up at L, impatiently blowing a stray hair back from my face. His expression is unreadable, so I shrug, "See?"

The detective turns to Watari, who holds out the open first aid kit. I try to peer around his shoulder as he rummages through it a bit, but I can't see past his hands. Finally, L turns around with a needle. I pale, my face losing any blood it had in a matter of seconds. I drop my shirt and jerk back, hands up on the defensive, "NO! L, you can't do that-"

L's voice doesn't waver as he shuffles forward calmly, "I'm afraid you've left me no choice. The wound's enough to need stitches." His hand reaches out to snag my arm.

The back of my feet strike the wall and I begin to panic further. Despite the reappearance of darkness at the edges of my vision, I slide along the wall away from him, desperate to escape. My eyes don't move from the needle, "No, you don't understand! This isn't just a phobia, it's not just a fear!" My teeth grit in an almost animalistic way and I whip my face up to look at L, "You have to **STOP**!"

I'm relieved when L actually does stop. His eyes widen at my wild expression, stunned yet curious, "What do you mean it isn't just a phobia?"

I can't help it, I laugh. A bitter, painful laugh. It only lasts a few seconds and when I speak, my voice is cold, "Oh no, L. You don't get to play therapist with me right now, not after what you said only a few hours ago." Something flashes in his angry dark eyes_… regret?_ It was so fleeting that I can't be sure. I take a shuddering breath, "Just let me treat myself. You can even watch, for the love of God, but I will fix my mess."

I already know that he'll deny this request. He opens his mouth, but we're both surprised when Watari comes forward with the First Aid Kit. I jerk my head robotically in a nod of thanks and grab some disinfectant and heavier bandages. Meanwhile, L stares at Watari. If the situation was different, I would have laughed at L's rare dumbstruck expression.

Noting the silent question in the air, Watari says, "You both had an argument earlier and haven't resolved it. L, you're quite angry and you know that emotions often compromise the ability to make decisions. I am stepping in because I fear that you will make a decision that you will come to regret later." Watari turns to me now, "M, after you are done bandaging yourself, you are both gong to talk as calmly as you possibly can." Allowing no room for discussion, Watari closes the first aid kit and returns to his work station. Watari sits down, but I know he's watching us.

_Alright, time to fulfill my promise. _I begin to wrap my bandages, feeling L's eyes on me. Not able to stand the silence a moment longer, I begin our conversation in the most diplomatic voice I can muster, despite my aggravation, "Alright, L, I will tell you everything you want to know."

L's shoulders relax; he puts a hand in his jean pockets, the other reaching up to place a thumb on his lips: his thinking pose, "What happened when you entered the park?"

I tell him about how I heard the scream, that there was no way I could get help in time. My analysis of the man and his victim, saving the woman, and of Light's… 'rescue'. The entire time, I watch as L's fingers clench into a fist inside of his pocket. I try to cushion the words, but know there's really no way to do that. I practically whisper when I recount being slashed and punched in the shoulder.

L doesn't interrupt until the end. Eyes wide and unblinking, he speaks past his thumb, "Did the boy tell you his name?"

Relieved that L wants to know more about Light, I finish wrapping up as I reply, "No, he didn't, but he said that his father's a police officer." I can almost see the gears turning in L's head as I relay the physical appearance and intelligence of Light. While he thinks, I sit down with my back against the wall, knees to my chest. I bunch the red fabric of my skirt in my hands and twist it, lost in my own thought process, _Hopefully he'll keep an eye out for him after this._

After a few moments of peaceful silence, he speaks again, "Why did you leave the hotel in the first place?"

I close my eyes for a moment, _How the hell does he manage to calm me down with just his damn voice? Why can't it be easier to be angry at him?_ I open my eyes, looking at his shoulder. I find myself unable to truly look at him, "I needed to get out, to walk, to cool down before I came back."

L crouches down in front of me, studying everything about me: my hair that's now half down and tangled, clothes disheveled and darkened with blood, wrapped ribs, exhausted expression. He reaches his hands forward and grips my shoulders, like he's wants to try to shake some sense into me. I wince as he grips my left shoulder. Eyes widening, L jerks his hands back with the sudden realization that I'm also bruised. After a moment of awkward silence, he speaks. I can hear him trying to keep it monotone and emotionless, "You could have died!"

I shrug, raising my hands to take off my red teardrop earrings, "Someone else was in danger, I was the only one available to help. I told you at Wammy's that I used to help people despite the consequences all the time. I wasn't lying. To be honest, as long as I could save her, I don't car-"

L's voice is deadly quiet, coated with venom. He shoots the barbs at me, unable to control his own fury, "Well I do!"

I look up at his face, surprised. In the light of the lamps, the shadows under his eyes seem far more pronounced. The mess of black hair seems to be standing on end, defying gravity more than usual. His face is grim, only a few inches from mine in his desperation. I can't breathe, _Was he- was he worried about me?_

L seems to be confused by his own statement. He leans back slightly, mind reeling. He looks away, at the blinds of the window as if he can see out of it, "And so does all of the children back at Wammy's!"

I blink at him in disbelief before allowing my head to fall to my knees, shaking it. _I've had enough. I'm stuck in a world that isn't mine, a puppet in a little play orchestrated by a mythical being. My shoulder is throbbing, my cut is burning, I've wrestled with a man to save someone's life, I've argued with my best friend, and now he's going to play this game? I can't do it, I just- can't do it… _My shoulder's sag and I inhale deeply. After collecting myself, I look up to glare at him angrily. L's mouth opens slightly, already wary of what I'm about to say.

My voice comes out in equally venomed barbs, "I though you understood, L." I lean dangerously close to his face, hissing at him all the while, "I wasn't raised in an orphanage with kind friends and family like at Wammy's House. Believe it or not, other people's upbringing can be harder than your own!" I place a right hand over my heart, "The reason I don't think about my own safety is because, for over 15 years since birth, I was told that my life doesn't matter. I was told _every day_ that I should be dead by almost everyone I knew. Combine that with a catholic teaching of 'take care of everyone else, others' lives before your own' and you have the equation for stupid heroics, no matter the cost. I GREW UP with that as my rule of life! Only in the last few years have people turned the tables and told me the opposite. How _can_ I believe that my life's worth something now?!"

I breathe heavily after my speech, allowing the anger to drain out of me. We stare at each other in a tense silence, trying to find something in each other's eyes. L's thumb is still at his lips, but it seems more frozen there in shock than consciously kept there. _It's almost as if the gears in his head have screeched to stunned halt._ I close my eyes, forcing my emotions back into the tightly wrapped box from which they came, _He clearly needs time to think about what I've said._

I slowly stand, bring my hands to cradle my elbows; he stares up me, mouth slightly open. Looking down at him sadly, my hair falling around my face. I practically whisper, "You once told me, no, _promised_ me that I would never be alone again. What happened to that promise?" L rises to his own feet, observing my defeated, exhausted form. "Are you really that kind of person? Did you plan to promise me anything for as long as I remained interesting? Then as soon as this case comes up, I'm no longer at the very top of your list so you throw me to the side?"

I sigh before looking back at him, staring at his shoulder. I just can't bring myself to meet in his eyes and see an emotion that I might not be able to handle. I force the mask back on my face, the one that says nothing can hurt me and everything's ok. I smile a small, sad smile, "If that's the case, I'd rather know now. I won't blame you, I promise. No one wants to be burdened with problems like mine."

I slowly pull my gloves off. I hold my arms out for him to once again see the self-inflicted torture, "If you want to stay my friend, as disgusted as you are by this, it's my reality." He says nothing as I lower my arms. "I can't change my past, so get used to it."

I begin to walk to the bedroom, but pause at his side. We face opposite directions, neither turning to each other. His statement from earlier, the one that still plagues my mind. I'm suddenly so angry, I can't help the last statement. I look at Watari apologetically, tears in my eyes. His face is as exhausted as I feel. I address L, "I don't know why you're so emotional about me being in danger. Don't emotions and morals get in the way? You were perfectly good at kicking them to the curb earlier."

I stride into the bedroom, still lit from when L had turned the lights on for me, and close the doors quietly behind me. I lean back against it, sliding down to the floor. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them. I stare emotionlessly ahead, gripping the earrings tight in my left hand; I swallow down my tears.

**_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible…_**


	19. Chapter 19 - SOS

**Author's Note:** I know that this confrontation is taking a while, but it's extremely important! I promise that I'll get back to the main plot line soon &amp; then the real action will start! _(also stating that the story is being placed on the tumblr page _ .com_ (the story chapters are at the menu on the top left)_ **_I'm adding images to it as well! Might ask a friend of mine to do illustrations for it!)_** ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 19****\- S.O.S.**

The next day, I find myself staring up at the white ceiling of my bedroom. There's really no where else for me to go, _L would never let me leave the hotel after last night_. Our 'conversation' had not gone in the direction either of us had wanted, leading instead to yet another argument. Despite being able to give him a piece of my mind, I feel incredibly guilty at the confusion on his face. _It's clear that he was trying hard to understand, but friendship isn't exactly his forte._ I roll over onto my stomach, wincing as the wound down my left ribs stings a bit, _Maybe today he'll put things together._

Before I had changed into the long-sleeved mint green shirt from Lady and black leggings, I took another look at my injuries. The slice is clean, which will help it heal faster. It's an ugly thing though, sure to scar. I wrapped it up again before looking at my shoulder. It had already started to heal, taking on a few shades of green in between the purple. Nonetheless, I can't help but wince whenever I bring my left arm up too high.

I have my hair down today, representing my devil-may-care attitude. I find myself unable to draw, unable to do anything except pace and try to keep my thoughts from racing (I finished my sudoku puzzles _long_ ago). I pick at my nails incessantly, trying to think of a solution to my dilemma.

In an attempt to escape from my thoughts, I pull my attention from the anti-social aggravation of a man in the next room to the case at hand. Flipping over onto my stomach (careful to turn over on my right side), I begin to lazily kick my legs as I run a hand through my loose, damp curls, _I'm pretty sure that the only thing to occur today is that L figures out that Kira somehow has police contact._ I sniff grumpily, _Well, that shouldn't be too difficult for him now, since I practically handed him that fact on a silver platter…_ This thought brings me full circle, right back to where I don't want to be. I groan, allowing my head to collapse, face-first, into the blue comforter.

After a few minutes of contemplating whether or not I should pull my hair out of my skull, there's a knock on the door. I quickly roll back in order to sit up, stiff as a board, _Please tell me that's not L!_ Reaching the end of a few panicked scenarios, I reach the conclusion that he wouldn't want to talk this soon, _Besides, he's not really an instigator for what will clearly be an emotional conversation, even at the best of times._ Convinced someone else is at the door, I speak up in a timid voice, "Yes?"

Thankfully, Watari's gentle voice floats through the door, "It's Watari. I have some people who wish to speak to you."

I cautiously scoot to the edge of the foot of the bed and allow my feet dangling off. I bite my lip nervously, _They haven't formed the task force yet. It's not L because Watari said 'some people'. I don't know anyone else in this world…_ Curiosity overcoming me. I nervously tug my mint green sleeves to my fingertips and murmur a nervous, "Alright…"

Watari opens the door. In the hand not occupied by the doorknob, he holds a laptop against his torso, facing me. On the screen-

I break into a smile, hopping off the bed, "GUYS!"

On the screen are the successors. Matt, red and black striped arms crossed, sits on the couch with a gameboy advance set aside on his lap. He's grinning his usual toothy smile with a toothpick between them, infamous orange goggles covering his eyes, brown hair as shaggy as ever. Mello lounges on the couch, leather-clad legs crossed. A bar of chocolate is rises to his lips before he snaps a piece off. He looks disinterestedly in another direction, but I know he's paying attention because the foot in the air swings back and forth with a kind of nervous energy. Unfortunately, the laptop's so close that I can only see the top of Near's white mop, sitting at Matt's feet.

I smile up at Watari, a silent thank you for calling my friends. He smiles down at me, handing me the laptop. He gently closes the door behind himself as I walk back to the bed. Stacking a few pillows on top of each other, I place the laptop at the top of the tower before perching in front of it, locking my legs over each other.

Matt speaks first, "HEY!"

I giggle a bit before waving at them, "Hey guys! You might wanna back the laptop up a bit, I can barely see Near!" Seemingly indignant that he can't be seen, a pair of small hands reaches up, one of which holding a race car in a few fingers, to push the laptop back. Due to the adjustment, I can now see Near's torso, as well as the others. "There, that's better! How are things at Wammy's?"

Mello speaks, unable to keep up the cool-guy appearance, "It's dull as ever-"

Mello's chocolate drops into his lap as Matt elbows him in the ribs good-naturedly, continuing the thought, "Yeah! Without you here, there's no one to wreak havoc! We haven't gotten Mello out to play Pickle since you left! I have no one to play Halo with either!" He fakes choking up at the last statement. Meanwhile, Mello brushes imaginary dirt off of his precious chocolate, glaring daggers at Matt.

I can't help but smile at them, "You'd best be getting decent at Halo or I'll just wipe the floor with you again! Anyways, how's everyone else doing?"

Near speaks up, drawing his hands back, "Axel has stopped running around challenging people to rock-paper-scissors and spends a lot of time outside by himself. Damien barely talks to anyone since you left. Shayna is burning through her sketchbooks, practicing for when you return, I presume."

Matt throws in a comment here, muttering, "Yeah, I hope you've been drawing 'cuz she'll be pissed if you don't come back with some pages filled in…"

Near glances in Matt's general direction, irritated, before his eyes flicker back to me and continues, "Lady tries to keep positive, but everyone's worried about this case. I suggest you and L wrap up this business as efficiently and quickly as possible."

I wince, almost imperceptibly, but it's enough for the successors. Mello looks past his blonde hair from the corner of his eye, "What happened?" I begin to twist my hair back and forth in my hands, suddenly finding the hem of my black leggings to be extremely interesting to look at.

"N-nothing! It's just kind of slow going, you know? Not a lot of clues to work with!" I throw my left hand up to the back of my head awkwardly- but I've forgotten about my injury. I gasp, eyes wide, _Crap!_ I bend over, auburn hair flying forward, and clutch my right hand to the cut. The cut's burning hurts far more than the throbbing in my shoulder, so I ignore it.

The blonde, brunette, and albino-haired boys's heads whip in my direction, forgetting all chocolate, games, and toys. I can see their eyes dart across their screen, taking in everything they can. Mello is dead serious, blue eyes burning beneath his bangs. Matt is grim, though not as intense as Mello. Near's dark eyes look up dangerously through his white bangs, any childlike aspects of him: gone. I would have laughed at the comicality of it, but I know that my wound has reopened.

As the stinging subsides, I can finally look up at the boys, smiling sheepishly. Mello leans forward, his elbows on his knees. He weaves his fingers between each other and allows his shoulder to hunch so that he can just barely look over his clasped hands, almost like he's praying. His mouth a thin line, eyes burning a hole in the screen, "Talk."

I sigh, _I can't really hide anything from these guys, can I?_ So I embark on the time-consuming and painful activity of retracing the events of- _Jesus, was it only yesterday?!_ I begin my story by recounting everything said on L's broadcast. Matt interrupts me, "We saw the broadcast."

I blink, kind of stunned. "Oh… that makes things easier then!"

Hunkering down for a long story, Near shifts his attention down to the floor, eyes slowly gliding from one spot to the other repeatedly. I assume that he's making the race car slide back and forth across the carpet. He doesn't even stop or look at me when he says, "But you seem to be upset about the broadcast itself."

I automatically begin to deny this, unwilling to burden my friends, but Mello throws his head back, releasing a guttural groan: "UGH! ENOUGH WITH THIS 'HIDING STUFF' CRAP!" His head comes forward so fast that I'm worried his momentum might carry him to the floor. In fact, his cranium almost collides with Near. Blonde hair flying, he points a black leather-gloved hand at me and continues, "You're eyes have been darting all over the place, you keep fidgeting with your sleeves, and your voice lowered considerably when you began to talk about the broadcast. I will only say this one more time, _talk_."

My eyes are as wide as saucers, staring at the irate teen. I'm worried for a moment that he might seriously be angry with me, but then I take the time to absorb his pose. He's completely facing me, opposed to when he pretended not to be interested by looking at other things. His eyes stare unblinkingly at the camera, awaiting my response. _He's only acted this way a few times, namely when I wouldn't eat at lunch the first day at Wammy's House and with my arms._ I smile a bit to myself, _I suppose that yelling is just Mello's way of saying he cares._

I nod at him, allowing him to relax slightly, "It's… about what he said on the broadcast. I tried to talk to him about it, but then we got into an argument where-" I swallow nervously, "We both said questionable things to each other. After this, I decided to take a walk to clear my head and ran into a man attacking a woman in a park. I stepped into help, was wounded, and when I returned to the hotel, we argued again. And now here I am." I spread my mint-green sleeved arms wide in a kind of bitter-celebratory gesture.

Matt's mouth opens in a small 'O' before he tilts his head to the side a bit, "Ooooooh, so that's why L was so distracted!"

I resist the urge to allow my jaw to swing on a hinge, "What?"

Matt nods matter-of-factly, his enthusiasm making him look like a bobble-head, "Yeah! We talked to him just before you about the case and he was really distracted! It seemed like he didn't even know we were there! L couldn't focus on a single topic of conversation for an extended amount of time." Matt shakes his head at Mello, brown hair fanning out, "I don't think I've ever not seen him devour a cake; it just sat there next to him!"

Seeming to come to a realization about something, Near abandons his toy car, giving me his undivided attention. He curls his hair, "M, please tell us everything you remember about the arguments, your thoughts, and the incident with the man."

Tugging at the edges of my sleeves, I talk about the broadcast and the argument that followed: How I was uncomfortable with how easily L sent Taylor to the gallows in his place, that despite the fact he didn't really kill him, L made a decision that Kira certainly would have. I reluctantly tell them about the misunderstanding regarding themselves, "I told him if he was too reckless that he would die and then who would set up? He didn't even blink when he mentioned you all."

The successors all look at each other in surprise that they have any involvement in the argument between L &amp; I. Before they can interrupt me, I continue, "I misunderstood that he would easily sign you all up for a criminal he himself couldn't even defeat. I got extremely defensive and so did he, as soon as I told him my thought process-"

I almost hiss in frustration as Mello cuts me off, gesturing towards the camera with an open hand, "But that's why we're here, it's what we're trained for! Why wouldn't we want to take over the case?"

I rub my face with my hand, "That's beside the point, Mello. It's not about your skills, because believe me, they're impressive. Nor is it about whether you should _need_ to step up." I stare directly in Mello's eyes (well, as best as I can across a camera), in an attempt to enforce my next words, "It's about whether or not L is taking this seriously and can easily put you all at risk as a default. You all are my friends and almost like L's adopted children. Please, guys, can't you see why I was upset? I know I might not have thought it through at the moment, but isn't it natural to defend your friends?"

Matt leans against the back of the couch, sinking into the cushion, "Ugh, that is difficult… I understand why you were worried about that, especially after it seemed like L shared the same thoughts as a cold-blooded killer…" His head suddenly flicks up from it's resting position on his chest, "But you do realize you're wrong that he thinks that way, correct?"

I shift uncomfortably, turning towards the door as if I can see through it to the hunched detective. I say in a remorseful voice, "Yes, he made that perfectly clear. In fact, it's _because_ he doesn't want anyone else to take on this burden that he'll do whatever it takes to close this case." Matt nods and relaxes again, though still listening. I turn back to them, sadness in my eyes, "But that's where things got ugly…"

The boys all seem to gravitate towards the screen, ready for the problem at hand. I can't look at them, instead gazing at my gift bag on the bedside table. I feel sick as I softly speak, "Since we don't really know Kira's abilities and because those abilities seem to be almost supernatural, it's a possibility that just revealing the name L could have been dangerous. I asked if he even considered what it would be like for me to watch my best friend fall over dead next to me. He seemed really stunned when I said that, his entire demeanor changed in a way I can't explain. L said 'If you're going to let emotions get in the way, then perhaps you don't belong on this case.' And then…"

My breath catches, throat tightening. I try to fold my arms over each other, trying to hide them from the boys. I almost can't speak, but manage to croak the words past the stabbing in my chest, "He looked down at my gloves and said 'Clearly it's gotten in the way before'…"

There's a stunned silence. Mello's face turns twenty shades of red in a matter of seconds, fury working its way through him. I lean towards the screen, as if I can reach through it to grab him, "Stop him!" Mello shoots up, as if he's going to _run_ to Japan! Matt, cool as a cucumber, keeps his arms crossed, lifts a leg, &amp; kicks out the back of Mello's knees. Mello collapses back onto the couch in the most undignified heap I've ever seen. The most comical part of it all is that his rosary falls last, smacking square between the eyes.

When Mello attempts to leap up again, Matt hooks an arm around his throat in a head-lock, expression grim from what I had told them. Mello's face turns purple as he screams up from his position on the couch, "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STOPPING ME, I'M GOING TO THROTTLE THAT IDIOT!"

Now the tables are turned: I'm pulling _away_ from the screen. My brown eyes stare at the irate boy in shock, _Jimminy Christmas…_ I quickly try to bring the situation down to a manageable level, "Mello, Mello, before you throttle the world's best hope for catching Kira, please, just hear the rest out!" Mello breathes heavily, but when he meets my eyes, he gruffly nods before crossing his arms to fume in silence. Matt, still cautious, doesn't release him.

Relieved, I reach over to the gift bag. Grabbing the hair clasp, I begin to twist my hair up, "Honestly, Mello, I've heard much worse and lived through it. However, he's my best friend, of course it hurt- well… still hurts me more than if anyone else said it. Anyways-" I look up at them sheepishly, "I-well…" The words come out in a rush, "I slapped him!"

Matt's jaw drops to the floor. Near's mouth opens slightly; I can hear the sound of the race car colliding with, I'm assuming is the curved leg of the table, as he drops it in shock. Mello looks stunned as well, but then bursts out into the most evil cackle I've ever heard. Matt finally manages to stutter, "Y-you s-slapped L?!"

I look away, face going a shade pink, "Well, yeah! Wouldn't you have? I'm not proud of it!" Mello continues to laugh; I look irritably at Matt, "Matt?"

Matt snaps his jaw shut, grins, and nods at me, "Sure thing!" He matter-of-factly picks the chocolate up off of Mello's lap and stuffs it so far down Mello's throat that he gags. I nod approvingly, "Thank you." Matt gives me a solemn solute, the solemnity of course ruined by the toothpick still sticking out of his mouth.

While Mello jerks up into a sitting position and tries to relearn how to breathe, I get back to the topic at hand. I speaking of how I took a walk to clear my head. I retell, yet again, of my experience with the criminal and the woman, of my 'rescue' (leaving out a few details, namely the supernatural ones), and of returning to a _very_ tense L.

At this point, Near, surprisingly enough, cuts in, "From this point on, tell us everything you observed about L: every word, every mannerism, every nervous twitch, anything." A tad surprised, I nod a bit before continuing on.

I recount every detail that I can remember: L pulling me into the hotel room, the oddly emotionless yet tense expression on his face, the fact that he had been monitoring me via security cameras during my entire walk, and then my injury and L's attempt at trying to stick me with a needle.

When I reach this point, I can see the concern on their faces, although they attempt to hide it. I sigh, rolling my eyes, "If I showed you guys that it's not that bad, will you trust in my decision of refusing to get stitches?"

The boys look at each other conspiratorially, passing secret messages with their eyes. Seeming to reach a consensus, Matt nods for the other two. I carefully unwrap my bandages underneath my shirt. They come away bloody, making it look far worse than it is. I gingerly lift my shirt and turn so they can see the 4-5" cut. While they all maintain their composure, I can tell that they're all furious (although Mello's face shows it more than the other two's) at the man who inflicted it on me.

Matt grumbles to himself and rubs the back of his head with a gloved hand, "Ah… that's a close call… I'd say stitches just to be safe, but I think you can live without them if you need to."

I exhale with relief, rewrapping the bandages, "I cannot do needles. It's not a choice for me." Mello opens his mouth, but I cut him off with an expression on my face that screams 'no exceptions!'. I stare firmly at the boys, miles away, "I will _not_ talk about it. It was an extremely dark time of my life, scarred me mentally beyond belief. Despite that being clear, L continued to try to stitch me up until Watari stopped him-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Matt frantically waves a gloved hand in front of the camera, momentarily blocking out Mello and Near, "Watari stopped _L_?"

I nod, "Yeah, talk about a plot twist." I continue on with my epic tale, recounting how I willingly told L everything and answered his questions. I speak of how L asked why I left and my answer, how L crouched in front of me and forgot (I nod earnestly at their dumbstruck expressions, "yeah, L forgot") that I was punched in the shoulder and attempted to shake me. I watch Matt grin a bit sardonically as well as Mello and Near's eyes widen slightly when I repeat L's words that he cares about whether or not I die… but then his continuation of dragging the Wammy's kids into caring if I died as well.

Matt snorts, Mello face-palms; even Near rolls his eyes. Matt exclaims, "Good Lord! M, you know that was a cover up, right? He almost _never_ admits emotions, especially one like that! That wasn't a fluke, he was seriously worried!"

I shrug, still unconvinced. Matt's about to go on a verbal rampage, but I interrupt, "Wait, I'm almost done! Then you can talk all you like." Matt waits for a moment, considering, before gesturing for me to continue. I sadly recount my reasons for my lack of self preservation, voicing my doubts about how his fading of interest (for lack of a better term), confronting him in regards to accepting my issues, any of my unfortunate last words to him.

When I finish, Matt whistles, a bit awestruck, "Well, that story was wild from start to finish…"

I groan and allow my head to fall into my hands, "What now? I don't know about him, but I feel upset, guilty, and hurt all at the same time. We also don't have time for this, there's a murderer on the loose!" I peek up at them through my fingers, "Any wise words, guys?"

Mello begins, keeping his voice at a reasonable volume despite being irritated, "You're both idiots. You shouldn't let your anxiety make you take things to the worst level; you also can't be reckless like that!"

I sigh and start to braid a piece of my hair in an attempt to calm my frazzled nerves, "I know, Mello, you're right. But as much as I want to, I can't pluck the anxiety from my system, nor the teachings I've grown up with. However, I managed to bring my anxiety down enough to make logical decisions, that's got to count for something, doesn't it? I just need to get quicker about it." Mello gives me an approving nod; I want to hug him for being so surprisingly reasonable! His attention is diverted to unwrapping another bar of chocolate, assured that his piece had been heard and acknowledged.

Near picks up his race car and places it on the table in front of the laptop, running it along the smooth surface. I patiently wait for him to speak, knowing that he's collecting his thoughts. When he does speak, it looks almost like he's addressing the car, "There's something you need to understand, M. L isn't used to people caring, he doesn't know how to react to concern. Almost none of us here know how to react to it. He's never had a friend, never had someone care about what happens to him in a way that's different than Watari."

"Yeah!" Matt cuts in. I almost shriek at him, poor Near looks so miffed and confused! Unfortunately for Near, I can't stop Matt's train of thought because I know he might have something important to say. Matt throws his goggles up on his head, staring at me with his mischievous (although at the moment, solemn) green eyes, "L's always been alone. He only recently visited us for the first time, so this is new territory for him." Matt props his head up on a hand, green eyes flying to the ceiling. He mutters almost to himself, deep in thought, "There's got to be a reason he said those terrible things to you! He must have thought he was doing you a favor somehow…"

My eyes almost roll right out of my head. Matt shifts his sights back to me at the movement. He scowls slightly, "Oh don't tell me you haven't noticed!"

I stop my fingers midway through my fourth braid, allowing my hands to fall into my lap, "Noticed what?"

The boys groan collectively. Mello leans against the couch, head dangling over the back of it. Matt falls forward, allowing his forehead to strike the table. Near, who managed to save his car from Matt's collapse, drops his head to his chest, exhaling heavily. I can't help it, I laugh. They all whip their eyes back to me grumpily. I try to save myself from their wrath, "I'm sorry, you all are just so funny! Anyways, what are you talking about?"

The boys' eyes dart to each other from their respective positions. Matt looks to Mello who shakes his head, "I'd get too aggravated at the stupidity of it all." He takes an aggressive bite of his chocolate. I glare at him; he shrugs back, unconcerned of my opinion.

Matt places a consoling hand on Near's shoulder, "You'll have to take this one then, I'm far too exhausted to do this…" He goes back to comically place his head on the table in front of him.

Near rolls his eyes at Matt's dramatics, but shifts the screen towards himself. I smile cheerfully at him as he begins, "Although he did not follow after your fight, it was because he could not. Despite no one knowing him, he still runs the risk of someone recognizing him later on or being put in a compromising position. Therefore, he looked after you in the only way he could: via security cameras and Watari. He could have continued working on the Kira case, and would have. However, from what Watari tells us, he couldn't concentrate for the life of him."

Matt muffles a statement from his position to my left of the screen, "In fact, I don't think he can solve this case without you being there and helping him, at this point." I cheeks go a slight shade of pink at the statement, despite myself.

Meanwhile, Near looks grumpily in Matt's direction, "Do you want to explain this? Because if not, shut up!"

I chuckle, _Clearly Near is done being interrupted._

Near turns back to the camera, dark eyes gazing into the lens, "L then tried to do what he believed to be medically best for you, even if it was unwise. He even admitted that he fears for your safety, even if it was thinly covered up."

I think about this explanation, _It all points in the same direction, that he… Well, that he…_ I allow my hair to fall in my face while I try to push the blush down from my cheeks.

Suddenly the camera is jerked back to the couch as Matt's grinning face envelops the screen, "It means I was right! You know what I'm talkin' about!" He winks at me and I feel my face go a few shades redder. Matt's face shifts from triumphant to thoughtful in the blink of an eye, shifting his gaze to the ceiling in thought, "Wait, if my prediction is to work… L's 24, how old are you?"

I look up in surprise, "I-I'm 20."

Mello looks surprised, ditching his feigned disinterest in the conversation. His hair whips around as he stares at the camera, "But you're so small!"

I frown at him, crossing my arms, "Excuse me-?"

Matt cuts me off, unfazed, "Excellent! My matchmaking plan continues onward!" Both of his companions roll their eyes as I try to form a coherent response, face turning redder by the second.

A now collected Mello speaks from his seat next to the overzealous Matt, "Come to think of it, since L hasn't eaten since then due to nerves, that means you definitely haven't." The faces of the boys all form to the same expression of aggravation.

I tense up,_ Busted…_

Another knock comes from the door. It's Watari's voice that again reaches me, "M, the boys now need to get to their respective projects."

I sigh in relief, _Thank you, Watari!_ I call through to him, "Okay!" Turning back to the laptop, I'm confronted by a stony-faced angry Near. Wincing, I pick it up and hold it at arms length, "Well you heard that! It's time to go! Thank you for your help, don't be strangers!"

"M!"

I close the laptop firmly, feeling a tad guilty. I walk to the door and hand it to Watari quickly in order to avoid getting a glimpse of L. When the door closes, I turn around to lean against it, _I'm going to hear about that later…_

I begin to pace in front of the bed, determined to bring my fight with L to an end. _The next conversation we have will be it! We have no time, important things are happening and I can't be distracting him with these arguments! So that's it, the next time I see him, we_ will _be friends again!_

I begin to collect my nerves from my squirming stomach.


	20. Chapter 20 - Peaches & Chocolate

**Author's Note:** The moment you've all been waiting for, here it is! PS: We're going to get back to the plot line in the next chapter, so chapters won't be coming out as quickly. Keeping it close to the original plot and throwing in all of the variables of the character is proving more challenging than I anticipated (along with the workings of everyday life). ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 20****\- Peaches &amp; Chocolate**

I slowly pound my head against a post of the bed, a red mark slowly spreading across my forehead,_ It's been two hours since I talked to the boys, yet I can't think of anything!_ _There's nothing I can do but just talk to him._ I allow my head to bang one last time before resting my head upon the post. I sigh, _I suppose there's nothing for it… I really will just have to go talk to him_.

I push myself away from the post, ignoring the obnoxious few black dots swimming about. I unclasp my hair, allowing the slightly curling locks to cascade past my shoulders. I pull my fingers through it, attempting to collect what shreds I have left of my nerve.

Attempting to think of a stronger plan, I catch sight of the gift bag that still rests on the round bed-side table. An idea comes to me. Feeling a bit more encouraged, I walk over to it and take out the chocolate, _L loves sweets! Maybe I can give him some of the chocolate that Mello gave me as a peace offering! Sure it might not be cake, but it's something!_

I shake myself when I realize that I'm grinning stupidly down at the bar, like it'll solve all of my problems. _What am I doing? I need to come up with a _real _plan! _After a few moments, I sigh. _If I haven't thought of one yet, I won't. I'll just need to take things as they go, I suppose. _Determined to speak to L before my resolve dies out, I shuffle to the door, nerves increasing with every second. Taking a steadying breath, I turn the knob and swing it outwards.

L leaps away from behind the swinging door, almost slipping on the hems of his too-long jeans.

We both stare at each other in surprise, unsure of what to say. Not wanting the awkward silence to drag on any longer, I look down at my feet and shove the chocolate bar out to him. I can't see his reaction since I'm looking down at my feet, but I hear nothing. I sigh inwardly, _I guess this was a stupid idea after all…_ Something round, the color of sunset, is held out in a pale hand beneath my face.

A peach.

I look up at his towering form in shock. L looks off to the side, not meeting my gaze. His lip is out in a kind of pout; he pulls his free hand out of his jeans pocket to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

I smile gently at his sincere attempt to make amends and take his wrist. I tug him away from all of the screens talking about the case, away from the thousands of concerns that the world's greatest detective has. L finally turns his gaze to me in surprise, allowing himself to be led inside the room. I close the door and answer his unspoken question, "We need to talk."

I take the peach from him, handing him the chocolate bar. I leave him standing at the door as I walk to the bed. Leaning against the post, I run my thumb along the peach. Collecting my thoughts, I sigh, "I suppose I'll start at the beginning." I awkwardly begin to speak to the peach, unable to look at him, "I understand that your job is incredibly taxing and tough decisions must be made, but," I reluctantly turn and lock eyes with the still silent detective, "You cannot lose your humanity."

L says nothing, shuffling to the opposite post. Once he leans against the post, he raises his free hand to place his thumbs on his lips. Looking back at me, a slight frown appears on his face. He mumbles past his thumb, "I don't think I understand."

I smile a bit, _Well, at least he's honestly thinking about my words, that's a start!_

I look up at the ceiling, trying to piece the correct words together. I roll the peach from hand to hand, "You block out all emotions in order to make logical choices, which at times, is the right thing to do. However, emotions are what make us human." Knowing the next point will sing his melody, I glare at him sternly, "Emotions are what makes us human instead of monsters. Monsters like Kira. He sees the world in black and white, right and wrong. You both made much of the same decision with Taylor."

I sit down on the bed, sinking into it slightly. Looking down at the floor, I continue, "You aren't Kira, but I'm afraid that you'll become much like him if you don't begin to see the grey areas. Kira sees someone as guilty or not, but what are the circumstances? And what if someone actually isn't guilty? Kira doesn't have to take any responsibility _because_ he sees the world like that. Murder is wrong, no matter what. You may not have killed Taylor, but you put him at gunpoint."

I become anxious, fearful that I'm only succeeding in insulting him instead of convincing him. I turn to him, standing against the bedpost. His eyes are studying my every movement, head tilted slightly. I speak with passion now, desperate for him to understand, "Do you understand? L, you're a good person! and I know that you don't have much experience with people, but you _know_ the value of life! Your life is full of color now, but I fear it will all drain to black and white from this case. Then _you_ will become the murderer and I-I-"

I groan in frustration at myself and fling back down on the bed, wincing as my cut stings in protest. My hair flies out across the comforter, auburn against blue. Peach still in hand, I throw my mint colored arms over my face, _I give up. I just don't know how else to make him understand!_ I kick my feet lazily over the edge of the bed while I await a response.

I tense up slightly as I feel the edge of the bed dip down to my left. Not looking, whatever it is clambers next to me before movement stops, "I think I'm beginning to understand your concerns now."

My eyes fly open and I peek through my arms. L is crouching next to me on the bed, face looming over me. His black hair falls like a strange halo in the light. I try to keep the blood flow to my face in check as his pale face floats about a foot over mine.

Seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil, he continues, "I did lead Taylor to his death, but I cannot do anything about it now. I can regret, but I cannot retract." I feel a twinge of guilt at the sadness in his eyes. "I can assure you that I will not become a murderer. I see my mistake with Taylor and it will not be repeated."

I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief, "Thank you." With my arms so close to L and the statement last night still raw on my heart, I bring my arms down over my torso. I place the peach next to me and, almost instinctively, I begin to pull my mint sleeves to my hands as far as they will go.

Meanwhile, L continues to speak, but now his deep voice is slow and thoughtful, "I should probably explain a few things myself." A bit stunned at his tone, I slowly sit up with the assistance of my right arm. I turn to face him, I rest my elbows atop my interlocking legs. I prop my head on my hands, ready for his explanation.

Seemingly a bit uncomfortable either with my attention or with what he's about to say, L's fingers fiddle with the wrapping on the chocolate bar, "M… I have orchestrated many missions and led many people to apprehend the culprit at hand. Unfortunately, and perhaps avoidably under different instruction, many have died under my orders. I try to create a course of action where there are no casualties, but life is not that kind."

I do everything I can to keep my jaw shut and stop my eyes from widening at this heart-felt confession I'm hearing. I continue to drink in every word he says, knowing that it's not often when L speaks of something like this.

Continuing to fidget with the wrapper, L looks down at his own toes rubbing against each other. "When I saw how easily Kira killed Taylor, I'm sure that my quivering tone of voice betrayed my… fear. Fear not for my life, but for those around me."

This time, I cannot stop my eyes from widening, _That's why he was so breathless when he began to speak to Kira! He slowly grew more confident and then seemingly psychotic with the idea of 'justice', but before he was scared! But he was scared for… me? _

"When you confronted me about my methods with the broadcast, I saw an opportunity. I saw the perfect chance for you to become so angry with me that you would leave and therefore be out of harm's way. I used whatever words would hurt the most in order for you to depart the case."

I want to cry, _He was prepared to be alone against the greatest killer the world's ever known in order to keep me safe? He was going to get rid of his only friend in the world to achieve this?_ I frown. Reaching a hand forward, I flick him on the forehead through his wild black bangs, "Idiot!"

L jerks backward, falling down onto his butt. A hand flies to his forehead, the other dropping the chocolate bar to the bed. Resting on my hands and knees, I loom over him, meeting his stunned gaze, "You idiot! I know you don't have much experience in the realm of friends, but I'll give you a little advice on Friendship 101: You can't get rid of _real_ friends that easily!"

L blinks in surprise, hand still on his forehead, "But why wouldn't you leave? I hurt you, you had no other reason to stay, and in danger for as long as you stay here!"

I want to throttle him. I groan, rolling my entire head, "Of course I was angry! But I wasn't going to leave you to the most dangerous case of all time alone! I took a walk to try to figure out a solution because that's what friends do! They try to understand each other! They have arguments, but it's coming out of those arguments that makes them stronger! As for being in danger, I could get hit by a meteorite tomorrow, or crack my skull open by tripping on the sidewalk! I could die any day, but I would rather die here, helping you than any other way!" Two or three black dots lazily drift into my vision due to how much oxygen I've used.

L is absolutely dumbstruck. His mouth opens and closes like a fish. His black hair has fallen into his eyes which just leads to more irritation.

I reach my hand out and brush the stray hair aside, "Geez, I defer to my previous question: Do you ever brush your hair?" But then I realize what I'm doing. I freeze my hand in place, leaving it in his bangs. We stare at each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking.

I turn a shade of pink and quickly retract my hand. Sitting up straight, I begin to fidget with my sleeves, continuously pulling them over my hands. We sit in an awkward silence; I mentally curse myself, believing that I've blown whatever chance I had with making up with the strange man across from me.

Before I know it, he's resumed his crouching position. L's hand darts forward and grabs my left wrist as I attempt to pull my right sleeve down yet again.. I look up at him, but his eyes are on my arm. He takes my right elbow gently in his other hand. Knowing what's coming, I try to pull away; he holds fast, tugging my arm towards him. I'm forced to scoot closer, our shins almost touching. L steadily pushes my mint green right sleeve up, revealing the scarred damage.

I look at the chocolate bar that he dropped, unable to meet his gaze. I'm terrified of what he'll say, terrified that I'm going to be hurt beyond repair. I flinch as he begins to speak, "You are not weak."

I whip my head around so fast that I hear my vertebrae pop and several dots skate across my vision, "W-what?!"

L continues to examine my arm. The delicate fingers of the hand not holding my elbow dance across the injuries, tracing the cuts. His beautiful dark eyes _(wait, beautiful?!) _analyzes each one of them, memorizing my arm like a road map. He continues, "I said you are not weak. You went through what you did and survived. This was the only way to cope, but I won't pretend it was the right thing to do." I study L's face. It's serious, businesslike, yet… sad. I wish at this moment, more than ever, that I had never done this to myself. _All because of the expression on this man's face._

L shakes his head slightly, wild black hair struggling to keep up, "No, what is weak would have been to die by your own hand. You did not and therefore are stronger than I can comprehend."

I can't stand the sadness in his eyes anymore, "Hang on, something that the genius L can't understand?" I crack a smile at him; he doesn't return it. "L, I'm not a strong person. I shouldn't have done any of this, and I couldn't control the pain anym-"

He cuts me off, still studying my arm, "What did you use?"

I catch my breath, _I wasn't expecting that question._ I hesitantly reply, "Are you sure you want to know? What good will it do you?"

L raises his white-clad shoulders a bit, "You're right, your past can't be changed. Your future can. In order for that to happen, I need to _understand_ your past." His head tilts back up, catching my eyes. We stare at each other for a moment while he holds my hand in his, caressing my arm with the other. I see the sincerity of his statement, the concern, and the desperation to fulfill that promise.

I look slowly back down at my arm, "Most of the time I used a pencil. I would dig in into my skin, back and forth, over and over, until it drew blood. It was a method that was extremely successful at giving pain. Sometimes I used an eraser to rub the skin off. It didn't give nearly as much lasting pain, so I quickly ditched that method. Other times I- I would simply lose my senses and slash my arms with anything I could find: knives, edges of rules, scissors… I found a use in even the most blunt objects."

I can't see L's reaction, but he asks, "What caused you to have to do this to yourself?"

I had known this question was coming, but my answer is blocked by my clenched throat. I can feel the tears in my voice, "W-when I needed to feel a pain that was different from being… alone." I can feel L stiffen in surprise through his grip on my hand. "I was either with those who hated me or by myself. Knowing I was unwanted, knowing that my absence made everyone else happy… It became unbearable."

L clenches my hand; I look up at him. He has the same aura of protectiveness that was there in the Wammy's House Music Room. His deep voice resonates to my very soul, "I broke my promise before. I wanted to keep you safe, even if you hated me. It seems like my plan couldn't have worked furthest from it's purpose." L's eyes are no longer on my arm, drawn instead through my mint shirt to where my wrapped wound is.

I look back and forth between them both. L looks so incredibly sad and guilty that I just can't stay mad at him any longer. I reach my left hand forward and gently touch his cheek, forcing him to look at me. I'm surprised by my boldness, but speak nonetheless, "Listen to me L, did you swing the knife? No. You did not injure me. We may have argued, but _I_ went out and got myself into that situation. You will _not_ take responsibility for my actions." I glare at him pointedly.

L seems extremely surprised at my hand on his cheek, like he can't seem to (_no, doesn't _want_ to_) pull himself away. He does, however, avoid my gaze. He tilts his head down slightly, allowing his hair to cover his downcast eyes. Annoyed, I grip his chin firmly between my fingers and jerk his face up. I lean close to him, "HEY! I'm supposed to be the emotional one here, not you! My injury wasn't your fault! Got it?"

L doesn't answer, his mouth slightly agape and eyes wide. I suddenly realize that I've leaned close enough to kiss him. Trying to act nonchalant, I release his jaw and sit back. I fold my arms as I study his dumbstruck (and slightly pink) face. After a moment, I sigh and pick up the chocolate bar next to him. I open the end, pull down the wrapping, and shove it into his mouth.

This seems to bring him back down to reality. He pulls the chocolate out, coughing a bit. Meanwhile, I grin at him evilly as I pick up my peach. "There! Now we're even!" I take a bit of the fresh fruit, stretching out my legs as I lean against a bedpost.

After a few moments of companionable silence, L smiles a bit, "You know… I don't think that it's a bad thing that you're emotional, nor is it a bad thing that I'm logical."

I raise an eyebrow and swallow my bite, "Hm? How so?"

L looks up at the ceiling, contemplating his answer as he snaps off a square of chocolate. _Thank God he does that, I can't stand when Mello just breaks the chocolate off as jaggedly as possible!_ L says, almost to himself, "Well, you're emotional, I'm logical. You said so yourself that emotions are what make us human. Logic, however, is also necessary to get things done in the most efficient manner." His eyes lower back to me, "Since this case instigates our reactions to the maximum, it's best we both work together on it in order to balance each other out."

I blink before breaking out into a grin, "Now you know what friends are for, to catch you when you fall and to help you in areas where you lack." I sober up slightly, "L, promise me you won't try to chase me away from this case again, alright?'

L's face matches my own, stony and serious, "I don't think that it's possible, at this point. We'll catch him M, I know we will." I nod firmly.

So the world's greatest detective and the world's most broken girl sit, quietly enjoying each other's company, eating peaches and chocolate.


	21. Chapter 21 - UpsideDown Responsibilities

**Author's Note:** Time between chapters will be getting kind of lengthy due to health issues, I apologize. I'll attempt to let you all know when I leave to get treatment, but if I don't post for a while, just assume. Keep tabs on the story &amp; I'll be back before you know it. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OC's***

**Chapter 21**** \- Upside-Down Responsibilities**

"You're going to pass out in approximately 1 minute and 47 seconds if you stay like that."

I scowl in the general direction of the detective. I'm currently sitting upside-down on the couch, one hand holding up the likewise upside-down sketchbook in front of my face. The only reason I'm comfortable sitting like this in front of my crush is because I've chosen to wear the billowing black pair of pants that I own. I've been attempting to draw the silhouettes of various objects in the room in this way, just to shake things up a bit. It's been an even harder task because the room is only lit by the incredibly bright blue glow of L's laptop. I've been working past the steadily increasing number of black dots that skate across the paper when L interrupts me.

I lift my sketchbook enough to see L, who has turned back to give me a disapproving look, and stick my tongue out at him, "I pass out all the time, plus it's interesting to look at things with a different view every now and then!" I mumble to myself, staring at the monstrosity on the page, "It certainly makes for an interesting art piece…"

L sighs and I hear him climb to his feet. Shuffling footsteps approach me, _doubtless planning to get me right-side up again_, and I prepare for battle. However, our plans are both stopped when 2 beeps sound from the spherical speaker next to L's laptop, "L." My eyes widen, _It's Watari!_

I lay my sketchbook flat on the floor, trying to look past L's far-too-large jeans at the screen. L stands just in front of me, hands in his pockets. I'm only able see the bottom half of his face, the shadows making every outline extremely sharp. L turns back at the sound, momentarily forgetting me, "Hm?"

Watari's voice comes through clearly, the words sending shivers up, er, down my spine, "Another victim. This one left what appears to be a suicide note."

L immediately turns to the task at hand and walks back toward the laptop. Not wanting to cause any trouble, I place my pencil on my sketchbook and slowly roll onto my stomach. While waiting for the dizziness to subside, I straighten my sleeveless red shirt under me.

L addresses the shadowed image of Watari on the screen, "Please, send it to me." A quiet beep is audible to my ears as I slowly sit up. _Crap, it's that stupid suicide note! _

L kneels down in front of the laptop, a pose that I'm almost unfamiliar with seeing him in. He begins to mumble to himself, "'Gods of Death'… 'L, do you know', 'Gods of Death'… Is he trying to tell us that Gods of Death exist?" Caught up in his own mind, I'm careful not to make a sound as I pick up my sketchbook and pencil from the ground.

L addresses Watari now, "Listen, Watari. Tell the police to monitor prison populations closely for the next few days. Kira may use other suicide notes to communicate with us." After acknowledging L's order, Watari signs off.

L doesn't move, continuing to stare at he suicide notes on the screen. I don't bother to try to look at it since I already know its contents. Instead, I study my best friend. L's back is tense under the long-sleeved white shirt, his entire form as still as a statue. Not a hair sways on his head, not a sound slips from his lips.

Knowing that now isn't the time to distract him, I silently walk to my room in order to have better lighting for sketching.

After a while, I can't help but begin to think about the suicide note myself. I'm sketching the pattern of the carpet in my room while my thoughts drift: _Come to think of it, I never really paid much attention to it when watching the anime. Besides implying that Kira can manipulate people before they die, the note doesn't really lead anywhere except on a wild goose chase._ I adjust my black fingerless gloves slightly, _Then again, that _is _kind of a big clue… Ugh, I should have paid more attention to the effect of that note!_ I look at the door worriedly, _If I remember correctly, L gets to the point of nearly pulling his hair out at the note. They_ are _important, but it's been about an hour since I left him in there. I should probably go check on him.  
_  
I close my sketchbook and place it under my pillow (an old habit from childhood). Tired of keeping my hair tightly back while drawing for so long, I release the clasp and leave it on the bedside table. Combing my hair with my fingers, I slowly open the door and peer into the eerily blue-lit living room. I smile to myself and retrieve the blue comforter from my bed.

I walk carefully up to a sleeping L, sprawled in front of the laptop; I lay it on over his thin yet resilient frame. I shake my head: _L, L, L, falling asleep twice with me as your witness, you're losing your non-human reputation!_ _He must have collapsed from exhaustion. _Body turned to the side, legs slightly curled inwards, the blanket rises and falls with L's steady breathing. Due to the poor lighting and positioning of the shadows on his face, it almost seems as if the bags under his eyes are gone. I sit down next to him and reach forward to gently brush his hair away from his eyes.

Once again, I marvel at how much younger he looks: _If this was the first image I ever saw of him, I could never believe that the fate of thousands of lives have and do rest on his shoulders._ I feel my face crinkle with worry, _That's too much pressure for one person, L, can't you see that?_

I sigh, turning to shut the laptop. Unfortunately, I catch a glimpse of the screen.

While I previously thought that only the suicide note was on the screen, I'm mistaken. Next to the note is a photo and name of the inmate who wrote it. Too absorbed by the face to notice the actual note, I recognize the photograph to be of the criminal from the park.

I scramble away form the laptop in a panicked kind of crab-walk, my hair seeming to fly towards the traitorous information. I move past L's sleeping form before I turn away from the screen. I clutch my head in my hands, rocking back and forth, thoughts going a mile a minute: _He's dead… He's dead! You knew this was going to happen! You could have stopped Light from looking at the wallet, appearances be damned!_

The room is spinning, everything is spinning, nothing makes sense anymore. All that I know is the man who, despite the actions he took, lies dead because I didn't take action. _Just like all of those people in your past, you stood aside and let him take the fall. You're all talk but no walk, you're as bad as Kira!  
_  
That train of thought takes me all the way to the darkness.

I gasp as air leaves my lungs and doesn't return due to my panic. The black in the edges of my sight seems to jump to life and eat away at anything visible. My vision gone, I feel myself falling backwards before colliding with the hard wooden floor.

A single tear slides down my face.

_No…  
_

"M!"

I groan, _Why is the back of my head pounding?_

"M, wake up!"

My sluggish thoughts work desperately (and quite grumpily) to catch up with the current situation, _Who is that? What do they want?_ I open my eyes.

For a moment, I think that I still have my eyes closed because of how dark the pair of eyes that I'm staring into are. L is kneeling over me, blanket still hanging off his shoulders. His hands are on the floor surrounding either side of my head, close enough that his wild black bangs dangle to tickle my neck. Though emotion rarely shows itself upon his face, it does now in the form of concern.

It doesn't register that I'm this close to him for a moment, but when it does, my knee-jerk reaction is to sit up.

BHAM!

My forehead rebounds off of his and I end up banging the back of my head, once again, on the floor. "Ow…. damn it…" I groan, raising a gloved hand to my skull. L is now kneeling upright, the blue blanket falling into a heap, one hand to _his_ forehead.

Despite the ridiculousness of the situation, he asks in his deep monotone voice, which quivers almost imperceptibly, "What's happened?"

I sit up slowly, trying to ignore the pounding of my head. I'm about to turn in his direction to answer him, when the memory of my discovery comes rushing back. I laugh shakily and, attempting to hide the shaking of my soul, answer, "What are you talking about? I just smacked my head when I passed out! And let me tell you, it was waaaaay after the minute and 47 seconds you prescribed it-"

Apparently already done with my rambling, L quickly moves himself to crouch in front of me. I quickly duck my head slightly so that my hair falls in my face. Having none of it, L reaches out and pulls back my hair, "You're crying."

Surprised, I raise a hand to my cheek and find a single tear upon it. I smile, "L, if you count that as crying then I don't know what to tell you!" I lift my eyes to his and can tell that the game is up before it has even begun. In this position, the blue light shows every detail on his face, including the sleepless shadows and gleam of determination in his eyes.

I groan and, still trying to act nonchalant, I throw a thumb over my shoulder at the laptop. L looks around me, raising a thumb to his lips. Taking in the current contents of the screen, he closes his eyes and nods, as if confirming his own suspicions. I raise an eyebrow, _Which he probably is._ Opening his dark orbs, L's shadowy form turns back to me, "You believe that you are somehow to blame for his death."

I suddenly remember that L doesn't know Light's Kira or his method of killing. _Ugh, that makes my concern look that much more ridiculous! To him it looks like I'm blaming myself for a rapist dying who I happened to get arrested! Not that I could have stopped Kira obtaining his name or done anything else…_

I sigh, exhausted by my difficult situation. I bring a hand under my long hair to rub the back of my head, wincing as my fingers gingerly touch the throbbing zone, "How did that guy's information get out to the media so quickly anyway? The arrest didn't happen too long ago and he didn't seem to be that high profile a criminal, if I'm not mistaken." I turn back toward the hideously pale-faced man on the screen.

L speaks from behind me, "You have his victim to thank for that."

I whip my head back to him, almost certain that my hair brushed past his face, "What?"

L looks up at the ceiling, collecting his thoughts. His voice comes out more contemplative than factual, though I know he's right, "It seems that she ran down the street towards a popular bar. She ran inside in hysterics, loudly telling everyone about what she witnessed in the park." Uneasy with where this story is going, I bring all of my hair over my shoulder into my hands and twist it first one way, then the other. "However, she exaggerated many things about the encounter. For instance, you were stabbed repeatedly and that she was far closer to being a victim than she actually was. Having such a large audience to her story caused many to demand to know about the criminal. Before anything could be done, someone leaked his name from the date and time of the arrest; the media took the story from there."

L presses his lips harder with his thumb, eyes traveling back down to my face, but I'm looking away. _I can't help but feel responsible… He wasn't a good person, far from, but no one deserves to be killed._ Lost in my thoughts, I don't notice L get up and walk away. _I could have warned L not to put him on the news. But what would my reasoning be? Maybe as a controlled experiment? Yeah! If Light had killed him, then we would know that only Light, I and the woman have knowledge of that man! _

I begin to feel the burn of tears that I quickly choke down. Everything's beginning to sway as my thoughts continue to race in their current direction._ You're so stupid! You could have saved his life and ended this entire fiasco in one fell swoop but you were too stupid to-_

A hand grabs my wrist and drags me toward the laptop. I look at the owner of the hand to see, of course, L. L has returned holding a plate of his favorite vanilla cake with extra strawberries in the hand not otherwise occupied with tugging me to sit in front of the small screen. L picks up my discarded comforter and places it over my slightly shaking shoulders. He sits down next to me and throws the extended portion of the blanket over his own frame. The raven-haired man doesn't say anything, only reaches forward to click the 'X' in the top corner of the man's photograph.

I stare at his tired yet patient face as the world slowly steadies itself beneath me. _L…_ He doesn't look at me, instead studying the suicide note that now dominates the screen. His pale thin fingers retain a firm grasp on my hand; the pointer and thumb of his other hand delicately pick up the fork to consume his slice of cake.

Speaking nonchalantly through a bite, he says, "M, what do you think of these notes?"

I blink at him, _He's trying to distract me from the death of the criminal. He knows that nothing he says will turn me away from that train of thought, so he's getting me away from it altogether._ I smile softly before turning my musings to answer his question.

I peer at the screen, pretending like I've never seen the note before. _I won't be able to say anything too specific, but maybe if I throw other options in, I can make a loophole around the 'don't say who Kira is' rule courtesy of the Shinigami King. _

My gaze grows fuzzy as I peer just over the screen in concentration, a thought coming to me, _Come to think of it, maybe it's a bluff! Maybe I_ can _tell L everything and they're trying to scare me into not doing so!_ Hoping against hope that this is the case, I open my mouth to say 'Light Yagami is Kira' when- nothing. My mouth doesn't open, it stays shut like my lips are sewn together. I abandon that endeavor with a sigh, _It was worth a shot…_

Looking back down, I notice that a full five minutes have passed. _It's a nice change, him allowing me to just think without waving a hand in my face._ I glance to the side, accidentally meeting L's eye.

I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, "Well, based on how cocky Kira's been so far what with his God-complex, perhaps he's implying that he's the God of Death? You know, the only one who has the right and ability to judge everyone? The only other thing I can think of is that he's hinting at the existence of Gods of Death. I don't count anything as impossible, so I'm still considering it." I breathe a sigh of relief when the words get through my mouth. _Apparently if I don't focus too much on the aspects of truth that I shouldn't know, I can still say them. _

L nods, chewing, "Yes, I thought so as well." He swallows and puts down his fork. Plucking something from the plate, he opens my hand that still lays in his grasp. A strawberry is dropped into it.

I look at L who's smiling at me. My heart thumps in my chest, _Damn I've missed that smile…_ While I attempt to control the heat on my cheeks, L waves a finger in my face, "Eat it or I'm calling the successors."

I raise the strawberry in front of my eyes by its green leafs, muttering about 'blackmail'. L says nothing, continuing to smile as he turns back to the note.

I don't eat the strawberry for a while, but not because I don't want to. It's because I'm trying, over and over again, to tell the man I love that Light is Kira.

Unfortunately, the threads sewn across my lips don't loosen, not for a second.


	22. Chapter 22 - Balancing Each Other

**Author's Note:** **_ATTENTION:_** Go to this link in order to find all chapters written so far _as well as fan art, clips from the anime, as well as some illustrations_: rewriting anime . tumblr post / 98334636668 / all - of - the - chapters - so - far - to - rewriting - your - story

Just enter that into your address bar, but without the spaces (I can't post the real link here or it's deleted)! So the chapters are starting to take longer to come out due to illness &amp; various other reasons, I apologize for that. But this is a pretty long chapter! This will be probably the 2nd to last chapter where it won't focus primarily on the plot line, but it's important nonetheless. **Further Note:** I've been asked about the severity of M's memories and conditions, so here's my answer: _M is based on a real person._ All illnesses, memories, and conditions that she has, they all happened and the illness are **_real_**. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 22**** \- Balancing Each Other**

I've grown accustomed to sitting near the laptop since it's the only source of light in the otherwise dark hotel room. Although L's presence helps with my hallucinations, he's currently standing a few feet away in the partial darkness, back turned from the screen. I keep wanting to tug him away from the grasping claws that seem to emerge from the inky blackness. Shivering, I manage to keep myself in check.

When the 2 beeps signaling a message from Watari sound from the speaker, I jump about a foot in the air, hand over my heart. Luckily, my pencil wasn't on the paper else the sketch of my foot would have a long, deep crevice through it. Attempting to retrieve any shreds of dignity I once had, I daintily tuck my black skirt beneath my legs while listening to Watari's voice.

"L, you have a call from the director of the FBI."

My heart sinks, _Oh no… They're dead, aren't they? The FBI agents? This isn't good…_ I glance sympathetically at L who still faces away, still unknowing of the terrible news to follow. All I want to do is mute the computer; in fact, my hand hovers uncertainly over the button. However, I know that L has to hear this. I resign myself to L's fate and retract my hand, instead pulling a stray hair behind my ear.

Unlike L's soothing deep voice, the director's is smokey and unpleasant. I cross my arms as I think of the cowardly mustached man (remembering from the anime) behind his desk halfway across the world. He speaks in a voice tinted with anger, like he blames L for this unfortunate event, "It's me. I've got a report in front of me right now stating that all of our agents in Japan are dead."

Even though I knew this statement was coming, I lean backwards to try to catch a glimpse of L's expression. Only the bottom half of his face is lit, the rest covered by his raven black hair; he doesn't even twitch at the news._ Shock maybe?_

"All twelve died of heart attacks. I can only assume that Kira is behind this." At this point, I can actually hear the director's voice change to a genuinely apologetic tone, which makes me feel a bit better about him, "Look, I'm sorry, but it's already decided. We are calling off our investigation."

My shoulders slump as I gaze at the stock-still figure a few feet from me. He hasn't moved a bit; left hand still in his pocket, the other hanging limp. I recall what L said to me not too long ago, _"Unfortunately, and perhaps avoidably under different instruction, many have died under my orders. I try to create a course of action where there are no casualties, but life is not that kind."_ My heart clenches as I realize that he must be tearing himself to pieces on the inside.

I want to cry at the injustice of it all when yet _another_ message from Watari sounds through the speaker: "I have chief Yagami on the line."

Souichiro practically interrupts Watari's as his angry voice comes through. I groan quietly to myself, _Not now, you idiot!_ I turn back to the screen as his image pops up. He confronts the worn detective, not knowing that there's another witness, "L, I've just got off the phone with the director of the FBI. According to him, it seems that you arranged for the FBI to come to Japan and investigate everyone here associated with the taskforce."

L continues to speak in the opposite direction of the screen, almost as if he can't bear to face Souichiro. To anyone else, his voice would sound uncaring, but to me… I hear the sadness and exhaustion, "Yes, I did."

Souichiro's voice takes on a quiet, deadly tone, "So how do you explain this? Are we now suspects in our own investigation?" I want to rip that damn mustache off his face,_ Of course he's going to investigate everyone! You really think anyone's above suspicion? You're entire police force has been working in this region of Japan, so why couldn't you be suspects?!_

I clench my black long-sleeved arms angrily, glaring down at the red-stitched curling pattern at the hems. I will myself to calm down, but my entire body is tense. _I can't say anything, no one's supposed to know about me!_ I grit my teeth in fury, not uttering a sound. My hair's a tad loose, but I don't dare adjust the clasp for fear of pulling my hair out.

Meanwhile, L answers, "I felt that it was necessary to uncover Kira's identity."

Souichiro finally explodes, glasses flashing, "I cannot accept that! I found it unbelievable that you would spy on us, the very people working with you on this case!"

I'm reaching a boiling point as my sensitive ears catch the muttered whispers of the workers in the room with Souichiro. I hug myself tightly, resisting the urge to punch the laptop, _YOU IDIOT! L doesn't know ANY of you, why _**_should_**_ he trust you?! And would it really have been so hard to have this conversation in another room so that you don't create chaos within your own workplace?! _I feel something on my left side, but don't truly notice it in the light of my fury.

Those annoying 2 beeps sounds and I have to resist throwing the conveniently baseball-size speaker through the window. L finally turns a bit as Watari announces another victim with yet another note. L shuffles toward the laptop, his features growing more distinct as he approaches the light. He doesn't even even glance my way as he kneels down to read the message.

_L, do you know - gods of death- love apples_

L tenses, a bit of the anger that's been surging within him cracking through his facade. Seeing this, I realize that my friend needs me to have a cool head more than he needs me to share in his frustration.

Reaching over, I minimize the window with the suicide note. L's head whips around to me, eyes widening incredulously. He's about to reprimand my actions, but I press a finger to his lips with a stern glare, "Listen." He opens his mouth yet again, but this time I clamp my entire hand over it, "I said _listen_, L!"

He pushes my hand away irritably, gray eyes flashing. I can tell that he's trying desperately to keep his low voice monotone and emotionless, although he's far from, "M, I need to focus on the case, now! Whatever you want to say can wai-"

My temper tested farther than it should ever be, I do the one thing that I know will make him stop and listen to me. In one fluid motion I grab both of his white sleeve cuffs in one hand and push his chest so that his back hits the floor with the other. I throw a leg over him and straddle his waist; I leaning over the infamous L.

Our noses a fraction of an inch apart, bits of hair caressing his face, I practically throw my words at him, "Now you listen to me, oh mysterious-genius-L," L's mouth opens slightly in shock at my hostility, "you brought me here for a reason! I didn't come to be baggage, I came to help you, but you must allow me to do so! Whatever you're thinking about, stop. Instead, analyze the emotions that you're experiencing."

The lighting on L's face is incredibly harsh since I've pinned him away from the computer, but I can still see his eyes and the jagged outlines of his lips, nose, cheekbones, and hair. L, himself, is so surprised that he doesn't even try to dislodge me. I glare at him unrelentingly as I feel him relax a bit. I want to sigh in relief that he's beginning to take me seriously, but I know that this battle isn't over yet.

After a few moments, I answer for him in a quieter voice than before, "You're angry. You feel guilty that others have lost their lives because of your orders. Your aggravated that Kira has a leg up on you right now. Your frustrated at the director for calling off much needed assistance. You're angry, frustrated, _and_ aggravated at the naive stupidity of those on the task force." I allow myself to take a breath, feeling slightly dizzy from my tirade. Nonetheless, I continue, "Think of all the times you've witnessed cause and effect by criminals and normal people. The cause is usually an emotion that they don't control; the effect is an unwise action or decision. You, yourself, are falling prey to the same trap _right now_. I need you to breathe, to take a step back, and take time to understand every implication and reason behind these events." I stele my voice, pounding as much sincerity into the next statement as I can muster, "Can you do that?"

I don't release my hold on his cuffs or get up since I'm not sure that he's convinced. I refuse to relax the frown on my face, _I need him to come to his senses, I _need_ him so understand!_ A few minutes go by as I watch the strain in his jaw go lax.

L closes his eyes for a moment, before snapping them open, "Thank you, M. You can let me up now, I'm alright."

Not allowing my steadily reddening cheeks dampen my dignity, I nod approvingly and release him. Clambering off, I feel a sharp sting and gasp involuntarily. Attempting to hide my weakness, I move to scoot away, but I'm grabbed by the shoulder. L's now steady voice sounds behind me, "Let me see it."

I brush his hand off and clamber to my feet, "I'm fine, I'll fix it." I walk over, black skirt whispering as it swishes past my legs, to grab some bandages from the first aid kit. As I rummage through the kit, L speaks, "You're right, I am feeling all of those things. I began to let it cloud my judgement and didn't see the potential negative outcomes of hasty plans. I need to take some time to think about what the notes mean instead of focusing on the past events."

I return and sit down, interlocking my legs, beside L. I smile at him, relieved, "Exactly!" I put down the bandages to lift my shirt slightly in order to remove the now bloody old ones.

When I reach back for the bandages- they're gone. I look for them, confused, when I see L's long arm holding them out of my reach, a kind of silent triumph present on his face. I glare at him murderously before I shrug, "Fine, I can go get more." I begin to get up when his other arm snakes around my waist, bringing me down to the floor towards him. I hiss in pain.

Even though my back is to him, I can tell that he's smirking, "That doesn't sound fine. Best let me take a look." I struggle for a moment before thinking, _I suppose this is better than him getting emotionally unbalanced in the most dangerous case of this world's history. Maybe allowing him to help me will lessen his guilt about the deaths of the FBI agents, if only by a little. _Reluctantly, I lift my shirt to just above the bandages.

As L unwraps them, he speaks, "I'm sorry that I lost my head, it was wise of you to stop me." Something in me glows warm with pride at being praised by L, but I ignore it in order to continue listening. He speaks matter-of-factly, "Contrary to our previous agreement, it seems that we're going to have to switch roles between being emotional and logical for one another."

He finishes unwrapping the bandage and stops in order to check my injury. He speaks almost hesitantly, "You know M… maybe you should reconsider stitche-"

I yank my shirt down, "NO!" Although the word came out much louder than expected, I grit my teeth and look at the red swirling pattern at the hem of my skirt.

I hear L sigh behind me, one of the rare times I've heard him actually sigh. _He must be more exhausted than I thought about all of this stuff going on… _"Well then, can you at least tell me why?"

I stiffen, remembering flashes of memories that I would have much rather stay buried. _But nothing stays buried forever…_ I let my shoulders slump, gently lifting my shirt for him to rewrap my injury. Taking this a sign as permission to continue, his arms embrace me repeatedly as he passes the bandage around and around my midriff.

When I begin to speak, it's soft, almost inaudible, "I was medically experimented on." I feel his hands freeze, partway through his job. "I began to pass out without explanation, began to scream, to have panic attacks, experience flashbacks, severe anxiety, etcetera. Most of that is filed away under Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety, but the random attacks of unconsciousness… There were some days where I would lose all strength and couldn't move."

At this point, I slowly draw my knees to my chest, hugging myself, "We went from doctor to doctor. They ran all kinds of tests on me, but no one knew what was going on. If one doctor's theory didn't work, they would pass me off to another without a second thought. I was on a different medication every two weeks. The worst part was that no one ever talked to me. They talked to my parents, but never to me. I apparently didn't have the right to know what was being put into my own body."

My voice chokes up and I don't notice that my bandages tighten slightly, "One day, I was admitted into the hospital. They pumped drugs into me, there were so many needles-" I shiver, but continue before I lose my nerve: "Teams of doctors came in all night and asked me questions while I was half unconscious with drugs. A few leaders of the teams would lift my arms to watch them fall back to the bed. Some would tap my head with their pen like I was an animal in a cage. But the worst part… the very worst part…" I bury my head in my hands.

I no longer know that L's behind me, nor where I am. I can only feel the cold tile of the hospital beneath my feet, hear the harsh barking of the beefy neurologist in charge of my case as he prepares to yank me into a standing position before I collapse again. My eyes are wide as I describe the scene: "My neurologist hated me. If I said anything or asked any questions, he would look at me like I was dirt. Without telling me anything, he hauled me to my feet while I had needles in my arms. He had another doctor film me so that they could watch this… _humiliation…_ over and over again. He 'walked' me into the hallway where he held me like a puppet, forcing me to try to dance down the hall as an experiment. I continued to collapse numbly while nurses and other patients looked on in shock."

I finally lose it.

I begin to tear at my arms, scratching at the black cloth of my shirt over the insides of my elbows where the IV's must be, desperately trying to rip them from my arms. My hair falls from my clip, which clatters to the floor. I bend over, screaming into my knees.

I am alone. Completely alone in this white, sterile prison.

I sob,_ I thought this was over, I thought I was free! _

But then…

Someone hugs me from behind. Ignoring the screaming, something pulls my loose black sleeves back to my shoulders. Gentle yet firm hands pull my arms into my line of vision. I hear a deep voice say, "M, what do you see?"

_I know that voice!_

I blink and suddenly… there are no IVs. The room is dark; I'm not sitting on cold white tile. I feel a chest against my back. I turn my head slowly to face what I fear is a doctor- but it's a raven-haired man with a pale face, deep shadows under his eyes. Said eyes are incredibly dark, but seem so understanding. I stare at them, trying to make sense of it all.

It takes a few minutes for me to recognize L. When I do, I can't stop myself. I fling my arms around him and bury my face in his shirt, seeking the comfort of familiarity. He doesn't say anything, he just hugs me.

I can hear a touch of anger in his voice as he says, "You're not there anymore. You'll never go back there."

I hug him tighter, just happy to have a friend with me.

L goes back to studying to suicide notes with a much clearer head. I sit next to him, my hair allowed to flow freely down my back, the comforter around my shoulders. We sit in a companionable silence until Watari returns. He soon supplies L with a piece of cake and I with a sandwich.

I sift through the sandwich suspiciously. I find that it's made of the exact same ingredients as the one I had made before. I can see L smirk from the corner of my eye. I turn to him, expression incredulous, "But how?"

L doesn't look away from the screen, but smiles the smile that makes me want to hug him and never let go, "You should know by now that I analyze everything, especially when it comes to a person of interest."

I turn back to my sandwich, my face reddening. P-p-person of interest? Does that mean what I think it means or am I overanalyzing? Deciding that I won't discover what he means anytime soon, we both eat quietly.

After a while goes by and still no real leads, I feel my eyelids droop slightly. I decide to curl up in front of the laptop's light, unwilling to be by myself after today's ordeal. Although I'm fairly comfortable, I can't seem to fall asleep. The flashbacks keep returning, unwilling to let me go.

I'm about to rip my hair out in aggravation when a gentle hand is placed firmly on my side. I blink up at L, who takes a moment to smile down at me reassuringly before returning to studying the notes. I smile and begin to drift off.

Before I lose myself to sleep, I recall L's statement: "You're not there anymore. You'll never go back there." Unfortunately, this quote is followed up by Ryuk's message from the Shinigami King.

I think sadly to myself, _But L… I _will_ go back there. _I think about all of the challenges yet to come, _The real question is:  
_  
_Will you be with me when I do?_

So the chapters are starting to take longer to come out due to illness &amp; various other reasons, I apologize for that. But this is a pretty long chapter! This will be probably the 2nd to last chapter where it won't focus primarily on the plot line, but it's important nonetheless. **Further Note:** I've been asked about the severity of M's memories and conditions, so here's my answer: _M is based on a real person._ All illnesses, memories, and conditions that she has, they all happened and the illness are **_real_**. ***I don't own Death Note, only my OCs***

**Chapter 22****\- Balancing Each Other**

I've grown accustomed to sitting near the laptop since it's the only source of light in the otherwise dark hotel room. Although L's presence helps with my hallucinations, he's currently standing a few feet away in the partial darkness, back turned from the screen. I keep wanting to tug him away from the grasping claws that seem to emerge from the inky blackness. Shivering, I manage to keep myself in check.

When the 2 beeps signaling a message from Watari sound from the speaker, I jump about a foot in the air, hand over my heart. Luckily, my pencil wasn't on the paper else the sketch of my foot would have a long, deep crevice through it. Attempting to retrieve any shreds of dignity I once had, I daintily tuck my black skirt beneath my legs while listening to Watari's voice.

"L, you have a call from the director of the FBI."

My heart sinks, _Oh no… They're dead, aren't they? The FBI agents? This isn't good…_ I glance sympathetically at L who still faces away, still unknowing of the terrible news to follow. All I want to do is mute the computer; in fact, my hand hovers uncertainly over the button. However, I know that L has to hear this. I resign myself to L's fate and retract my hand, instead pulling a stray hair behind my ear.

Unlike L's soothing deep voice, the director's is smokey and unpleasant. I cross my arms as I think of the cowardly mustached man (remembering from the anime) behind his desk halfway across the world. He speaks in a voice tinted with anger, like he blames L for this unfortunate event, "It's me. I've got a report in front of me right now stating that all of our agents in Japan are dead."

Even though I knew this statement was coming, I lean backwards to try to catch a glimpse of L's expression. Only the bottom half of his face is lit, the rest covered by his raven black hair; he doesn't even twitch at the news._ Shock maybe?_

"All twelve died of heart attacks. I can only assume that Kira is behind this." At this point, I can actually hear the director's voice change to a genuinely apologetic tone, which makes me feel a bit better about him, "Look, I'm sorry, but it's already decided. We are calling off our investigation."

My shoulders slump as I gaze at the stock-still figure a few feet from me. He hasn't moved a bit; left hand still in his pocket, the other hanging limp. I recall what L said to me not too long ago, _"Unfortunately, and perhaps avoidably under different instruction, many have died under my orders. I try to create a course of action where there are no casualties, but life is not that kind."_ My heart clenches as I realize that he must be tearing himself to pieces on the inside.

I want to cry at the injustice of it all when yet _another_ message from Watari sounds through the speaker: "I have chief Yagami on the line."

Souichiro practically interrupts Watari's as his angry voice comes through. I groan quietly to myself, _Not now, you idiot!_ I turn back to the screen as his image pops up. He confronts the worn detective, not knowing that there's another witness, "L, I've just got off the phone with the director of the FBI. According to him, it seems that you arranged for the FBI to come to Japan and investigate everyone here associated with the taskforce."

L continues to speak in the opposite direction of the screen, almost as if he can't bear to face Souichiro. To anyone else, his voice would sound uncaring, but to me… I hear the sadness and exhaustion, "Yes, I did."

Souichiro's voice takes on a quiet, deadly tone, "So how do you explain this? Are we now suspects in our own investigation?" I want to rip that damn mustache off his face,_ Of course he's going to investigate everyone! You really think anyone's above suspicion? You're entire police force has been working in this region of Japan, so why couldn't you be suspects?!_

I clench my black long-sleeved arms angrily, glaring down at the red-stitched curling pattern at the hems. I will myself to calm down, but my entire body is tense. _I can't say anything, no one's supposed to know about me!_ I grit my teeth in fury, not uttering a sound. My hair's a tad loose, but I don't dare adjust the clasp for fear of pulling my hair out.

Meanwhile, L answers, "I felt that it was necessary to uncover Kira's identity."

Souichiro finally explodes, glasses flashing, "I cannot accept that! I found it unbelievable that you would spy on us, the very people working with you on this case!"

I'm reaching a boiling point as my sensitive ears catch the muttered whispers of the workers in the room with Souichiro. I hug myself tightly, resisting the urge to punch the laptop, _YOU IDIOT! L doesn't know ANY of you, why _**_should_**_ he trust you?! And would it really have been so hard to have this conversation in another room so that you don't create chaos within your own workplace?! _I feel something on my left side, but don't truly notice it in the light of my fury.

Those annoying 2 beeps sounds and I have to resist throwing the conveniently baseball-size speaker through the window. L finally turns a bit as Watari announces another victim with yet another note. L shuffles toward the laptop, his features growing more distinct as he approaches the light. He doesn't even even glance my way as he kneels down to read the message.

_L, do you know - gods of death- love apples_

L tenses, a bit of the anger that's been surging within him cracking through his facade. Seeing this, I realize that my friend needs me to have a cool head more than he needs me to share in his frustration.

Reaching over, I minimize the window with the suicide note. L's head whips around to me, eyes widening incredulously. He's about to reprimand my actions, but I press a finger to his lips with a stern glare, "Listen." He opens his mouth yet again, but this time I clamp my entire hand over it, "I said _listen_, L!"

He pushes my hand away irritably, gray eyes flashing. I can tell that he's trying desperately to keep his low voice monotone and emotionless, although he's far from, "M, I need to focus on the case, now! Whatever you want to say can wai-"

My temper tested farther than it should ever be, I do the one thing that I know will make him stop and listen to me. In one fluid motion I grab both of his white sleeve cuffs in one hand and push his chest so that his back hits the floor with the other. I throw a leg over him and straddle his waist; I leaning over the infamous L.

Our noses a fraction of an inch apart, bits of hair caressing his face, I practically throw my words at him, "Now you listen to me, oh mysterious-genius-L," L's mouth opens slightly in shock at my hostility, "you brought me here for a reason! I didn't come to be baggage, I came to help you, but you must allow me to do so! Whatever you're thinking about, stop. Instead, analyze the emotions that you're experiencing."

The lighting on L's face is incredibly harsh since I've pinned him away from the computer, but I can still see his eyes and the jagged outlines of his lips, nose, cheekbones, and hair. L, himself, is so surprised that he doesn't even try to dislodge me. I glare at him unrelentingly as I feel him relax a bit. I want to sigh in relief that he's beginning to take me seriously, but I know that this battle isn't over yet.

After a few moments, I answer for him in a quieter voice than before, "You're angry. You feel guilty that others have lost their lives because of your orders. Your aggravated that Kira has a leg up on you right now. Your frustrated at the director for calling off much needed assistance. You're angry, frustrated, _and_ aggravated at the naive stupidity of those on the task force." I allow myself to take a breath, feeling slightly dizzy from my tirade. Nonetheless, I continue, "Think of all the times you've witnessed cause and effect by criminals and normal people. The cause is usually an emotion that they don't control; the effect is an unwise action or decision. You, yourself, are falling prey to the same trap _right now_. I need you to breathe, to take a step back, and take time to understand every implication and reason behind these events." I stele my voice, pounding as much sincerity into the next statement as I can muster, "Can you do that?"

I don't release my hold on his cuffs or get up since I'm not sure that he's convinced. I refuse to relax the frown on my face, _I need him to come to his senses, I _need_ him so understand!_ A few minutes go by as I watch the strain in his jaw go lax.

L closes his eyes for a moment, before snapping them open, "Thank you, M. You can let me up now, I'm alright."

Not allowing my steadily reddening cheeks dampen my dignity, I nod approvingly and release him. Clambering off, I feel a sharp sting and gasp involuntarily. Attempting to hide my weakness, I move to scoot away, but I'm grabbed by the shoulder. L's now steady voice sounds behind me, "Let me see it."

I brush his hand off and clamber to my feet, "I'm fine, I'll fix it." I walk over, black skirt whispering as it swishes past my legs, to grab some bandages from the first aid kit. As I rummage through the kit, L speaks, "You're right, I am feeling all of those things. I began to let it cloud my judgement and didn't see the potential negative outcomes of hasty plans. I need to take some time to think about what the notes mean instead of focusing on the past events."

I return and sit down, interlocking my legs, beside L. I smile at him, relieved, "Exactly!" I put down the bandages to lift my shirt slightly in order to remove the now bloody old ones.

When I reach back for the bandages- they're gone. I look for them, confused, when I see L's long arm holding them out of my reach, a kind of silent triumph present on his face. I glare at him murderously before I shrug, "Fine, I can go get more." I begin to get up when his other arm snakes around my waist, bringing me down to the floor towards him. I hiss in pain.

Even though my back is to him, I can tell that he's smirking, "That doesn't sound fine. Best let me take a look." I struggle for a moment before thinking, _I suppose this is better than him getting emotionally unbalanced in the most dangerous case of this world's history. Maybe allowing him to help me will lessen his guilt about the deaths of the FBI agents, if only by a little. _Reluctantly, I lift my shirt to just above the bandages.

As L unwraps them, he speaks, "I'm sorry that I lost my head, it was wise of you to stop me." Something in me glows warm with pride at being praised by L, but I ignore it in order to continue listening. He speaks matter-of-factly, "Contrary to our previous agreement, it seems that we're going to have to switch roles between being emotional and logical for one another."

He finishes unwrapping the bandage and stops in order to check my injury. He speaks almost hesitantly, "You know M… maybe you should reconsider stitche-"

I yank my shirt down, "NO!" Although the word came out much louder than expected, I grit my teeth and look at the red swirling pattern at the hem of my skirt.

I hear L sigh behind me, one of the rare times I've heard him actually sigh. _He must be more exhausted than I thought about all of this stuff going on… _"Well then, can you at least tell me why?"

I stiffen, remembering flashes of memories that I would have much rather stay buried. _But nothing stays buried forever…_ I let my shoulders slump, gently lifting my shirt for him to rewrap my injury. Taking this a sign as permission to continue, his arms embrace me repeatedly as he passes the bandage around and around my midriff.

When I begin to speak, it's soft, almost inaudible, "I was medically experimented on." I feel his hands freeze, partway through his job. "I began to pass out without explanation, began to scream, to have panic attacks, experience flashbacks, severe anxiety, etcetera. Most of that is filed away under Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety, but the random attacks of unconsciousness… There were some days where I would lose all strength and couldn't move."

At this point, I slowly draw my knees to my chest, hugging myself, "We went from doctor to doctor. They ran all kinds of tests on me, but no one knew what was going on. If one doctor's theory didn't work, they would pass me off to another without a second thought. I was on a different medication every two weeks. The worst part was that no one ever talked to me. They talked to my parents, but never to me. I apparently didn't have the right to know what was being put into my own body."

My voice chokes up and I don't notice that my bandages tighten slightly, "One day, I was admitted into the hospital. They pumped drugs into me, there were so many needles-" I shiver, but continue before I lose my nerve: "Teams of doctors came in all night and asked me questions while I was half unconscious with drugs. A few leaders of the teams would lift my arms to watch them fall back to the bed. Some would tap my head with their pen like I was an animal in a cage. But the worst part… the very worst part…" I bury my head in my hands.

I no longer know that L's behind me, nor where I am. I can only feel the cold tile of the hospital beneath my feet, hear the harsh barking of the beefy neurologist in charge of my case as he prepares to yank me into a standing position before I collapse again. My eyes are wide as I describe the scene: "My neurologist hated me. If I said anything or asked any questions, he would look at me like I was dirt. Without telling me anything, he hauled me to my feet while I had needles in my arms. He had another doctor film me so that they could watch this… _humiliation…_ over and over again. He 'walked' me into the hallway where he held me like a puppet, forcing me to try to dance down the hall as an experiment. I continued to collapse numbly while nurses and other patients looked on in shock."

I finally lose it.

I begin to tear at my arms, scratching at the black cloth of my shirt over the insides of my elbows where the IV's must be, desperately trying to rip them from my arms. My hair falls from my clip, which clatters to the floor. I bend over, screaming into my knees.

I am alone. Completely alone in this white, sterile prison.

I sob,_ I thought this was over, I thought I was free! _

But then…

Someone hugs me from behind. Ignoring the screaming, something pulls my loose black sleeves back to my shoulders. Gentle yet firm hands pull my arms into my line of vision. I hear a deep voice say, "M, what do you see?"

_I know that voice!_

I blink and suddenly… there are no IVs. The room is dark; I'm not sitting on cold white tile. I feel a chest against my back. I turn my head slowly to face what I fear is a doctor- but it's a raven-haired man with a pale face, deep shadows under his eyes. Said eyes are incredibly dark, but seem so understanding. I stare at them, trying to make sense of it all.

It takes a few minutes for me to recognize L. When I do, I can't stop myself. I fling my arms around him and bury my face in his shirt, seeking the comfort of familiarity. He doesn't say anything, he just hugs me.

I can hear a touch of anger in his voice as he says, "You're not there anymore. You'll never go back there."

I hug him tighter, just happy to have a friend with me.

L goes back to studying to suicide notes with a much clearer head. I sit next to him, my hair allowed to flow freely down my back, the comforter around my shoulders. We sit in a companionable silence until Watari returns. He soon supplies L with a piece of cake and I with a sandwich.

I sift through the sandwich suspiciously. I find that it's made of the exact same ingredients as the one I had made before. I can see L smirk from the corner of my eye. I turn to him, expression incredulous, "But how?"

L doesn't look away from the screen, but smiles the smile that makes me want to hug him and never let go, "You should know by now that I analyze everything, especially when it comes to a person of interest."

I turn back to my sandwich, my face reddening. P-p-person of interest? Does that mean what I think it means or am I overanalyzing? Deciding that I won't discover what he means anytime soon, we both eat quietly.

After a while goes by and still no real leads, I feel my eyelids droop slightly. I decide to curl up in front of the laptop's light, unwilling to be by myself after today's ordeal. Although I'm fairly comfortable, I can't seem to fall asleep. The flashbacks keep returning, unwilling to let me go.

I'm about to rip my hair out in aggravation when a gentle hand is placed firmly on my side. I blink up at L, who takes a moment to smile down at me reassuringly before returning to studying the notes. I smile and begin to drift off.

Before I lose myself to sleep, I recall L's statement: "You're not there anymore. You'll never go back there." Unfortunately, this quote is followed up by Ryuk's message from the Shinigami King.

I think sadly to myself, _But L… I _will_ go back there. _I think about all of the challenges yet to come, _The real question is:  
_  
_Will you be with me when I do?_


	23. Chapter 23 - The Cowards & The Brave

**Author's Note:** For images along with the story, go to: rewritinganime . tumblr rewritingyourstory ch 21 - 25 (I can't post links on here so just erase the spaces) ***I do not own Death Note, only my OCs***  
**  
****Chapter 23**** \- The Cowards &amp; The Brave**

When I wake up this morning, I'm beneath the blue covers of the hotel bed. I sit up, combing my hand through my long auburn rat's nest. My cheeks warm as I realize that L must have carried me here. Trying to convince myself not to be so embarrassed because I can't change what happened, I turn to let my feet dangle off of the bed.

Before I can get ready for the day, however, I notice something on the bedside table. Picking it up, I see that it's a new sudoku book with a small set of my favorite black writing pens. I smile and put it at the foot of my bed so that won't forget it after I get dressed.

As I rinse the shampoo out of my shower, I think about what's supposed to happen today: _Yesterday, they announced the FBI members were killed. After that, L needs another counter attack so he forms the task force._ I almost jab myself in the eye with a soapy finger, _That's right! Today Souichiro's going to dismiss anyone who's not dedicated to the case and the remainders will form the task force! _I begin to hyperventilate, _That means, by the end of the day, they're coming here! _I try to calm myself down but it doesn't work, _I don't do well with people, let alone tense, angry men searching for a killer! _

Luckily, the wound on my left side stings enough to bring my attention out of the spiral it was in. I gingerly clean it, trying to avoid getting too much soap in the cut. With this difficult task at hand, I forget my anxiety.

I quickly dry off and stand in front of the mirror, avoiding looking at my reflection. Wrapped in a towel, I pick up the hairbrush and run it through my hair. _Calm down, maybe this won't be as bad as you think._ I begin to go through the members of the task force: _Souichiro's a pretty decent guy; he only gets angry when his son is implied, which,_ I wince, _unfortunately, will be a lot more now that I'm here. _

I see that my wound is healing nicely, already beginning to close up at the edges. Nevertheless, I firmly wrap it up as I continue to think, _Aizawa is passionate about the lives of others, but is also hot-headed. It leads him to say harsh things. What's worse is that he doesn't think about the effect that his words have on others._ I recall how he thinks of L in the anime and I stiffen, halting in the finishing touches of wrapping up my ribs. _I'm going to have to make it very clear that we're here to solve a case and not judge the person running it, otherwise I'll break his face in._

It had been a while since I've had such violent thoughts when they aren't called for, but I can't help it. Even when I was watching the anime, I could barely sit through some of Aizawa's idiotically harmful statements.

I pick out the most inconspicuous outfit that will hide my arms. Donning my long-sleeved mint green top, I continue down the list. Matsuda:_ not much to worry about there, he's just overall friendly. He gets into trouble sometimes, but nothing that can't be dealt with. He's passionate and incredibly enthusiastic, almost to a fault._ I smile a bit as I clip on my mint teardrop earrings, _Perhaps_ _we can be friends. _

When I reach Hideki Ide, I actually roll my eyes and groan, _That asshole. He's a bit too afraid of this case, but too proud to back down. He has a tendency to focus on things that aren't important. He's ridiculously suspicious of L and is a total jackass about it._ I smirk a little as I pull on my black leggings, _I think he just wants to be the hero._

I twist my hair up and firmly clasp it to my head. Satisfied with my preparations, I begin to walk out of the bathroom. My foot freezes mid-step; I feel a shiver run up my spine and my hands drop to my sides. _Ukita… _I look down at my feet, _He may be impulsive, but that's what's going to get him killed…_ I raise a hand to play with the single die necklace in an attempt to find comfort from my far distant friends. After a minute or two, I shake off the melancholy,_ He's not dead yet and I'll be damned if I sit by and do nothing! _With renewed confidence, I walk over to the bed as I review the last member of the task force.

Mogi: I curl my pointer finger of my right hand over my chin, my thumb pressing up on my chin from underneath. Meanwhile, I can hear the muffled sound of voices coming through the speaker by L's laptop which can only mean that L is already at work. _Huh, I don't really know much about Mogi, come to think of it. He didn't have a huge role in the anime, he was just kind of quiet._ I shrug, _Oh well, I suppose there's no point in guessing. I'll just have to see for myself._ I pick up the sudoku book and one of the black pens as I walk past the bed. I push the doors to the living room open.

L is sitting in front of the laptop, as per usual, but the meeting with the task force is already in progress. Not wanting to interrupt but needing to hear, I quietly creep over to L's side and settle into my likewise strange sitting position. Watari, dressed in a heavy dark shirt and large black hat _(looking intimidating as hell) _oversees the laptop that is present at the meeting. We watch the crowd and listen to Souichiro's words. L doesn't say anything to me, far too focused on the meeting at hand. I open the first page of the sudoku book and begin the first puzzle, listening all the while.

Souichiro is sitting with his elbows on his desk, hands clasped in front of him almost as if he's praying. He observes the room with a serious, unyielding glare through his wide glasses. I shudder, _I sure am glad I'm not in that room…_

I happen to come into this speech at the grimmest part: "It's quite possible that we may all be killed by Kira." Souichiro pauses here, whether it's for dramatic effect or the shock of his own statement, I don't know, "Think of your own lives, your families and all the others you'd be leaving behind. If anyone wants to leave this investigation, now is the time." All attention is on Souichiro; it seems like no one can even blink, let alone respond. I can see Matsuda, mouth slightly open in shock.

Souichiro continues, "You won't be demoted if you choose not to stay. You have my word." His next statement comes out hard and almost angry, "But if you are not absolutely sure, then we don't need you. You have to be willing to fight against him, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice."

I smile at these words, _That's right people, you may get to walk off thinking it's scott-free, but it's far from. You're walking away by your choice, yes, but you'll walk away with everyone knowing that you're a coward unwilling to help your comrades._ "That is all." The poor man sounds absolutely exhausted by the end of his speech.

I feel my spine relax at the conclusion, _Geez, I didn't realize how tense I was, and I wasn't even in the same room! _I turn to look at L_._

He sits, still staring at the congregation of the room, a thumb to his lips. His ever-wide eyes dart back and forth, _I'm sure that he already knows who will leave and who will stay. _I smile, _His skills really are remarkable. I only know who will stay because I've seen the anime, but L has nothing to go on but his own observations. _

But then I see something in his eyes, something the anime never shows: Worry. Taking a closer look, I realize that the darting of his eyes isn't just to narrow down the task force, but also in concern of all of the lives that he'll now hold in his hands.

A bowl of candy sits next to the laptop, untouched. I reach forward and grab a pristine round pink candy. Turning back to L, who didn't notice, I grab his free hand. When he turns to me, mouth slightly open in surprise, I pop the candy into his mouth. I smile at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. I whisper to him quietly enough that the mic doesn't pick up my words, "Breathe, L, whoever is left knows what they're getting into. People are responsible for their own lives and their own decisions, you can't take them all on yourself."

L's eyes are so wide that I'm sure he wasn't even aware that I had sat down with him in the first place. If he didn't have a candy in his mouth, I don't think he would even have anything to say at all. It's absolutely adorable. Resisting the urge to kiss his cheek, I roll my eyes look back at the 12th sudoku puzzle.

For a while, no one moves. L and I have nothing to do but watch a room of nervous men debating their fates. It takes so long for decisions to be made that L hands me a plate.

Looking down at it curiously; I see that it's covered in peach slices. I scowl up at L, but am surprised when he reaches towards me. I tense a bit, unsure of what he's about to do. His slender fingers reach the base of my neck and grip something between his pointer finger and thumb. He delicately lifts the die that rests at the end of my necklace in front of my field of vision. It's a clear statement: _I can always call the successors._

I look around the die, glaring at L. He drops the white cube, smiling 'innocently'. I'm caught off guard by how much more relaxed he looks while teasing me when before he was panicking about the task force. Resigning that I can let this one slide, I swipe the plate from him, casting the amused man grumpy glances.

We go back to silently watching the room empty of the cowards. I know that I'm being unfair, _Perhaps one of them has young children at home, maybe some of them have people who need them to take care of them_. Despite all of this, I feel my fingers grip tighter and tighter on my knee and leg as each individual leaves. I grit my teeth in frustration, desperate to call out through the microphone and give them a piece of my mind.

I feel a gentle hand on my back. Without turning, I know that it's L's. He rotates his hand soothingly around my back, trying to ease the tension out of me. I want to stay angry, but I know that this has to happen. I exhale in a huff and allow the detective to calm me down.

After a while, we have our task force.

When Souichiro opens his eyes, he's met with Matsuda standing at the closest desk, like he was about to come speak with Souichiro. Ukita is standing by a seated Mogi, Aizawa by a chair-bound Ide; they were probably talking to each other about this difficult decision before them.

When Souichiro speaks, I can tell that he's exhausted, _My heart goes out to the poor man…_ He peers over his interlocked hands, "Five men, huh Well, six, including myself." He seems to shake himself into a more professional manner; his voice gets stronger and more confident, "Still, I'm grateful to see there are as many as five of you willing to risk your lives to face evil."

L takes his hand off of my back and leans forward towards the microphone, wild black hair falling over his eyes. I shiver at how unnatural his voice must sound like on their end, "The fact you have chosen to stay means that you have a strong sense of justice." He doesn't even pause as he continues, "I trust all of you."

In the moment of silence that follows, I bring one knee to my chest and rest my chin upon it, _'Trust' when L says it means something very different depending on the person. He trusts that you all want to catch Kira, not that he trusts that you may not be. They're going to learn that the hard way…_

Aizawa speaks hesitantly at first, but grows stronger, "H-h-hold on a second." He turns towards Watari with the laptop, "L just said that he's decided to trust us now, but honestly what reason do we have to trust him?"

I sigh, reaching down to pick at my toenail, _So it begins…_

The argument gains steam, thanks to the jackass known as Ide, "Look, L. All of us have agreed to put our lives at risk to bring Kira to justice." He speaks with open hostility now, as if L isn't aware of the dangers of this case, "So I hope you understand what that means. We're really stickin' our necks out here!"

Aizawa builds off of Ide, "But you never have to show your face, do you? You just give the orders. I don't see how you can expect us to work alongside you under those conditions."

I bite my lip so hard that it bleeds slightly, _You morons! Of course all of your lives mean everything, but what if L dies? Who will give the orders then? Who will be smart enough to stop Kira? Like HELL I'm letting the successors come here! _I lean forward towards the microphone, fully prepared to defend my friend, but a firm hand grips my shoulder.

I turn to look at L, fury still blazing in my eyes. His face is calm, serene; his dark eyes are gentle as they gaze into mine. He shakes his head, already accepting what's to come. I want to cry, _No, L! You feel guilty because the other FBI agents died and you're still safe, but this is the one case that you should NOT enter personally! _This is what I want to say, but what I cannot. _This case will go nowhere if he doesn't do this_. I swallow and look away from L, the laptop, the idiotic task force, everything. _L, you're not making it easy to keep you safe…_

There's a tense silence before Souichiro speaks in a much more negotiable tone, "L, if all of us are going to work together on this investigation, and if you truly meant what you said about trusting the six of us, could you come here so we can all meet in person?"

L leans back slightly, taking in a breath to collect himself. Just looking at his stance and behavior, I know that L needs me now. His hands are shaking ever-so-slightly on his knees as he stares up at the ceiling. I place my arm around his shoulder. He looks down at me, stunned. I smile, sending a silent message: _I'll be right here, no matter what happens._

He smiles back before turning to address the task force with confidence, "The thought had already crossed my mind. After all, I did say that I trusted all of you." Watari turns the laptop around to reveal a typed message.

As L explains our location and how the members of the task force should arrive as well as when, I allow myself to fall back onto the ground, hair fanning out across the floor, arms spread-eagle. I exhale in relief, _Thank God that meeting's over for now… _

Glancing up at L as he types the message, I notice that he's still shaking a tad. Thinking of what I can do for him, an obvious idea springs into my head. Smiling, I leap to my feet, stumbling a bit at the quick movement and the sudden swarm of black dots, and stride to the kitchen.

_Come on Watari, I know you keep plenty of them around…. Aha!_ I open the fridge and pull out L's favorite cake. Placing it on the counter, I shuffle in the cupboards for a plate and fork. Finding a plate in a pleasant shade of red, I slice off a generous piece and carefully place it on top. With my gift in hand, I walk through the now brightly lit living room, _Probably more for the task force's sake than his own._

L is now standing in front of the open window, curtains drawn. I pause, watching him. I know exactly what's going through his head, _Despite how confident he sounds in the anime, by knowing him this long, I can tell that those words are him trying to convince himself that he's ready to be a real part of the case._ L's fists clench at his sides. I decide that now is the time to step in.

L doesn't notice me as I walk up in front of the window, gazing out at the city lights. _He looks so tired, his shoulders hunched, the bags under his eyes looking like they've been tattooed there in black ink…_ I silently hold the plate in front of him. He blinks in surprise, looking down at the treat. The confusion on his face is absolutely adorable as he turns to look at me. I smile up at him encouragingly.

Some of the tension seems to leave his body as he smiles. It's that smile that makes me feel like nothing else makes the world go round. I can't help but feel genuinely happy when I see it. He accepts the cake and goes back to staring out the window. I stand with him in a companionable silence as he digs into the cake., simply happy that I can help him.

_And now, we wait._


	24. ATTENTION! (& Merry Christmas)

**Hello everyone! It's been a long time, but I have a Christmas gift for you all! **

**No doubt you've noticed that the title for this fan fiction has changed. Everything will be explained if you you'll search for 'Rewriting Your Story'. Yes, the same title that it was. (It said it'll be posted 4-8 hours from now, so for those of you reading this ASAP, you've got some time to burn).**

**That's right, my friends, the story is being _rewritten_. I found a few loopholes, I found that I wasn't ****writing a very interesting character besides her problems... all in all, I found a rewrite was definitely called for, especially after so much time has passed.**

**First chapter is up, I hope to get a second posted by tonight to get the ball rolling a bit farther. Past that, there's no promises as to a steady post date, but I think you'll like it a whole lot better. Take it as an apology and I hope you all enjoy!**


End file.
